Chapter Six

	The weeks following Ganondorf's fall were busy ones.  His death had removed much of what troubled Hyrule, but the damage of seven years under his rule would not vanish in an instant.  Homes still needed repair, people needed food, and all the other problems of the kingdom had not been magically solved.  So Link and Zelda both were kept occupied most of the time.
	
	But they did find time to spend talking together. They shared their life stories, though Link said, with a laugh, that his was much shorter than hers.  He seemed to have lost the bitterness he'd had outside the Water Temple.  He was always smiling, that same warm smile that made Zelda's heart jump.  But though they spoke often, they spoke of nothing more intimate than childhood memories.  And Zelda avoided all mention of Sheik, speaking mostly of what it was like to grow up as a princess.
	
	Those memories were old, dusty, and sometimes hard to recall.  Which often frustrated her nearly to tears.  She didn't know how to be Zelda anymore.  She found herself constantly wishing for the bindings that hid her body, for the uniform that let her move freely, even for the ties that held her hair out of the way.  She had been comfortable as Sheik.  As Zelda she felt constantly wrong, out of place, off balance.  
	
	If she could be Sheik again, she would be so much happier.  But Sheik was dead. And Hyrule needed its princess.  Duty still bound her.  If only she could learn to be comfortable as Zelda.  Would it take another seven years before she was at home again in her own skin?  
	
	And as Zelda it seemed that Link only wanted to be her friend.  He had spoken of love to Sheik, but had said nothing of love since.  Zelda avoided that topic as well.  She was becoming certain that Link didn't love her, but she didn't want to hear him say it.  Some part of her, perhaps the part that had been Sheik, loved him still.  Hearing him say it would break her heart.
	
	But though she did not speak of Sheik, she couldn't help but think about him often.  She found herself frequently dwelling on memories.  Her early training, the times she had felt triumph as she mastered some physical skill or difficult spell.  Those brief days with Link, when she had guided him through the temples...  She would do it all again if she could just re-live those few moments.  Waking with Link's arm over her, standing close before the fire in Kakariko, the way he'd looked at her outside the Spirit Temple when he'd spoken of love...
	
	"Zelda?"  Her thoughts were interrupted by Link himself.  She had been sitting on the hill above Castle Town, where already many of the homes had been repaired.  The sun had set and the moon was rising over the broken rubble of Ganondorf's tower, where very soon the foundations of the new Hyrule Castle would be laid.
	
	"Link," she said in greeting as he sat beside her.
	
	"Rupee for your thoughts?"
	
	Zelda shrugged.  "Just... remembering."
	
	"Remembering something sad, it looked like."
	
	"I suppose."
	
	"Zelda... you don't seem happy.  Can you tell me what's wrong?"
	
	"I don't really want to talk about it."
	
	"You know I'm your friend..."
	
	She sighed.  "I know."
	
	"You've been there for me when I needed to talk.  I remember when I was so angry outside the Water Temple.  It did me good to tell you about it.  Why not tell me what's bothering you?"
	
	"Sheik was there for you. I... I'm not him."
	
	"Heh.  I suppose that's true.  It's funny, really.  Because you are the same person, and yet I have kind of missed him."
	
	"I suppose you would."  She sighed again.  [i]Missed Sheik because you loved him, but you don't love Zelda...[/i]
	
	"What's that supposed to mean?"  Link gave her a puzzled look.
	
	"Nothing.  Never mind."
	
	Link reached out and touched her shoulder.  "Zelda, tell me.  What's bothering you?"  
	
	She turned to him, staring into those deep blue eyes.  He lifted his hand from her shoulder and cupped her cheek softly, leaning closer.  She leaned closer as well.  Her heart was racing again.  She knew he was just trying to comfort her as a friend, but she couldn't help herself.  She leaned closer still and kissed him.  He pulled back in surprise, and Zelda flushed.  "I'm so sorry!"
	
	Link blinked at her. Then he suddenly put his arms around her, pulling her close.  "Don't be sorry," he said, and kissed her hard. She clung to him and kissed back, suddenly awash in a wonderful, joyous ocean. When Link broke off the kiss she continued to cling to him and he tightened his arms around her and held her close.  She started crying, tears trickling down her cheeks and Link lifted one hand to stroke her hair soothingly.
	
	When, after a long time, she finally loosened her grip, Link let her go.  "Are you all right?"
	
	Zelda wiped her eyes and smiled at him.  "Yes.  I just... I thought you didn't love me."
	
	"I do, Zelda. Of course I do."
	
	"You said, when I wanted to send you back, that you were my friend."
	
	"Well, yes.  You are."  Link shrugged.  "I didn't want to make some dramatic proclamation of how I loved you and wasn't going to leave you.  That didn't seem... right.  And you had been so upset outside the Spirit Temple.  I thought... well, I thought you didn't love me.  If I said I loved you again, I thought it would only hurt you."
	
	"Oh."
	
	"Is that's what was upsetting you so much, thinking I didn't love you?"
	
	"I guess."
	
	"I love you very much.  I think I've loved you since we first met as children, in fact."  He smiled at her once more, that warm, welcoming, wonderful smile.
	
	She smiled back.  "I love you too."
	
	Zelda rested her head on his shoulder, feeling a warmth grow within her.  He loved her, not Sheik.  Perhaps she could be happy as Zelda after all.  

-----	
	
	The castle walls were beginning to rise.  Zelda sat once more on the hill overlooking castle and town, with Link beside her.  They came here often.  It was a good place to look down and survey the day's work.  It was also a good place to find some privacy, away from the citizens who seemed to make  everything in Zelda's life their business.  
	
	She sat in front of Link, leaning back against his chest, his arms around her, and it seemed like heaven.  It also seemed to be the only bit of heaven in her life.  She was still struggling with learning to be Zelda.  Her body still felt like it belonged to a stranger, everything about it seemed wrong.  Nothing came naturally to her, and she was constantly tripping, not only over her skirts but over other people's expectations, their ideas about what a princess should be like.
	
	Apparently many of Hyrule's citizens thought a princess should be utterly useless.  
	
	Zelda pushed that thought from her mind.  She hadn't come here to brood over the way some of her newly-appointed counselors treated her as if she was made of porcelain and might break if she did a bit of real work.  She'd come here to be with Link.
	
	"You're tense," said Link.
	
	Zelda sighed.  "Yes."
	
	"Trouble with the rebuilding?"
	
	"Sort of.  Just... some of those old goats."  She scowled.
	
	Link chuckled.  "What have they done this time?"
	
	"I'm apparently not allowed to do anything useful.  I have to stay indoors and sign paperwork.  The paperwork is important, I know that, but there's not so much of it that it takes all my time.  I want to go out and pitch in with the actual building.  But apparently they all think I might break if I set my hand to any real work."
	
	"Heh."  Link's reply was suspiciously noncommittal. 
	
	"What?"
	
	"Well... if you didn't go out of your way to look fragile, maybe some of them wouldn't think you were."
	
	"What?!"
	
	"Uh.  I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry."
	
	Zelda scowled.  "Well, now you've started saying it, you might as well finish it.  What do you mean, go out of my way to look fragile?"
	
	"That was poorly put.  I know you're not trying to look fragile, and I know you like your dresses, but..."
	
	"I hate my dresses," snapped Zelda, starting to feel annoyed.
	
	"Oh."  Link suddenly laughed.  "Well then!  Stop wearing them.  They make you look very delicate.  If you dressed more like, well..."
	
	"Like what?"
	
	"I was going to say like Sheik, but actually Impa might be a better example.  You need to convince the 'old goats' that you're strong.  Nobody tells Impa she can't pitch in, do they?"
	
	"No..."  Link was right, Impa was usually right amid the workers, doing her part.  As was Link, for that matter.  Zelda sighed.  "You're right.  You're so right.  I got too attached to the idea that a princess has to wear a dress all the time.  My tutors used to insist on it.  But I didn't have to rebuild a kingdom when I was a child.  I could wear something else to work in at least.  It would be easier."
	
	"Yes."  Link smiled, and kissed her shoulder.
	
	"I'm supposed to be the one with the wisdom.  Why couldn't I figure this out myself?"
	
	Link shrugged.  "Because the hardest thing is seeing something clearly when you're inside it, I guess.  You are very wise, Zelda.  I've already seen you settle disputes I was certain would end with bloodshed.  You're making a wonderful queen."
	
	"I haven't been crowned yet."
	
	"No.  But you're ruling already.  And coronation is just a formality."
	
	"I guess."  Zelda fell silent again.  She tipped her head back against Link's chest and looked at the stars.
	
	Link bent and kissed her shoulder again, and she relaxed a little.  He smiled and moved to kiss the side of her neck.  She sighed, a soft sound of pleasure.  Link's kisses sent a tingling feeling through her.  And his attentions were more than enough to distract her completely from her various worries.  Link ventured a little further tonight than he had before and nibbled lightly on her ear.  It felt good, and Zelda made a little approving sound of pleasure.  Link chuckled softly in her ear and continued.  Zelda closed her eyes, a soft moan escaping her.  The tingling feeling was growing to an electric heat, maddening and wonderful at the same time.  
	
	She was far from experienced, but she knew enough to know where that heat led.  She didn't know how far she wanted to go just yet.  She did know that for the moment the last thing she wanted to do was to call a halt to what Link was doing.  Especially not when he whispered gently into her ear, "I love you, Zelda."
	
	"Oh Link..."  She tipped her head back a bit further with a blissful sigh.  Link took the opportunity to kiss her throat softly.  Meanwhile his hands, which had been resting around her waist, slid up, and he cupped one of her breasts in one hand.
	
	Zelda tensed.  She couldn't help it.  Her chest was one of the things that made her uncomfortable about being Zelda.  Sheik's bindings had not only hidden her breasts with illusion, but also bound them to her body, and feeling them unbound still felt profoundly wrong.  
	
	She tried to relax.  Girls were supposed to enjoy this, and she knew that boys certainly enjoyed doing it.  If she could just relax a little, surely Link's touch would be pleasurable again.  But she couldn't manage to let go of her tension, no matter what she tried.
	
	Link couldn't help but notice.  He let his hands fall down and simply held her.  Zelda shivered, fighting off a wave of shame and confusion.  What was wrong with her?
	
	"Zelda?  What is it?"
	
	She leaned forward, away from him.  "I'm sorry..."
	
	"For what?  It's all right, whatever it is.  Really."
	
	Zelda shook her head.  She tugged herself away from his embrace, scrambling to her feet.  "It's not all right.  I'm not all right."
	
	"Zelda... talk to me.  Tell me what's wrong. I want to help..."
	
	"There's nothing you can do, I'm just... I'm sorry."  Tears started trickling down her cheeks.
	
	Link got to his feet and reached out to her.  Zelda suddenly wanted a deku nut to throw, a distraction so she could escape into shadow.  But then Link knew about her magic, she was hardly obligated to keep a Sheikah's secrets from him. So she pulled shadow around her and vanished into darkness, away from Link, away from his touch, that should bring pleasure and instead had brought only pain.
	
	"Zelda!" he called after her.  "Zelda!"  She wanted to fling curses at him.  She wasn't Zelda.  She couldn't be Zelda.  She would never figure out how to be Zelda.  
	
	Link heaved a sigh.  He looked around once again, and then started down the hill, toward the town.  Zelda sat down on the ground, still wrapped in shadows, and sobbed silently.  Everything about her life was all wrong, and now the one thing that had been right was going wrong as well. 

-----	
	
	The next morning, feeling a little bit calmer, if not completely at peace, Zelda set out from her room with two goals in mind.  The first proved to be surprisingly easy.  She acquired a set of practical clothing, including trousers rather than a skirt.  Farming women apparently wore trousers often, a fact which made Zelda feel a little more certain about her decision to wear them sometimes.
	
	Her second goal was more difficult, if only because she didn't really look forward to it. But though she put it off until after breakfast, before her first meeting of the day she found Link and apologized to him for running off the night before.
	
	"It's all right," he said with a smile that seemed completely sincere.  "I know you were upset."
	
	"I shouldn't have been."
	
	"You can be upset any time you like, Zelda.  I don't mind.  I just wish I could do more to help.  If you want to talk about it...?"
	
	She shook her head.  "I have a meeting, I need to go."
	
	"All right.  But I will probably be up on the hill tonight."  He smiled again.  "Just in case you feel like coming up there again."
	
	Zelda couldn't help but smile back.  She felt a little lighter in heart, knowing that Link wasn't angry at her, and that she hadn't ruined everything.
	
	The morning meetings went well, and when she donned her more practical clothing and set out to help Impa with one of the various rebuilding projects around town nobody said anything, though she thought she caught a few puzzled glances, and at least one disapproving glare.  But the feeling of being out of the accursed skirt again was so nice that she didn't even care about that.  
	
	Putting it on again for her evening round of royal duties, however, felt like torture.  Should she really wear the more practical clothing if it made her hate the dress even more?  She was miserable enough in it as it was!
	
	She shed it again that evening before climbing the hill to sit with Link and watch the moon rise.  He made no comment on her clothing, he only patted the ground beside him and put his arm around her when she sat.  She slumped sideways and leaned her head on his shoulder.  He was only an inch or so taller than she, but it was comfortable enough, and he turned and kissed the top of her head gently.  He made no other move though, and a little more of the tension went out of her when she realized he wasn't going to try and touch her again.  
	
	"Do you want to talk tonight?" asked Link quietly after a long silence.
	
	"No," said Zelda simply.  
	
	Link nodded.
	
	They sat in silence until the moon was well above the horizon.  Zelda found herself yawning and reluctantly rose to go.  She had her duties and they required her to rise early.  Duty seemed to be always with her, in some ways even more so now than when she had been Sheik.  [i]But I was happy as Sheik.  Even then near the end, when I didn't know what to feel half the time, and everything seemed to be going in a dozen different directions, I was at least happy to be me.  I haven't felt that way since.  The little happy moments here and there have been in spite of this life I'm stuck with, not because of it.[/i]
	
	Link rose as well.  They walked down the hill together, hand in hand where the terrain didn't require them to jump and scramble over obstacles.   When they reached the town and the parting of their paths Link pulled her in for a hug, holding her tight for a long moment.  She hugged him back, hard.  He gave her one soft kiss, then let go and stepped back.  "Goodnight Zelda."
	
	"Goodnight."