Shards

Chapter 8 - Vengeful God
In which apologies must be made.
	
	Darmani had seen the library, Mikau had his guitar, and Scrub had gotten to play hide and seek.  Shadow too had claimed a bit of my time, though he hadn't gotten into too much trouble with it, thankfully.  So as I set out from my room after lunch a week or so later I decided that it was time to let the Fierce Deity have what he wanted as well.  I had no enemies to fight, but I could at least spar a bit with some of the castle guards.  I'd done so a few times before leaving for Termina.  And I could stand the exercise myself, it would keep me from letting my skills get rusty.  

	So I picked up my sword and shield and headed for the practice ground.  It was a broad area behind the castle where the guards trained.  The ground was dirt rather than flagstones, so that a fall would be less dangerous.  A rough rail fence marked out the sparring circle at the center, with various exercise grounds scattered around it.  On the far side there was an archery range, and tall pells for mounted practice.  At some point I would have to bring Epona along and try my hand at combat on horseback.

	Today Captain Matin was there.  I knew him vaguely, but I hadn't seen him at the practice grounds before, I'd always sparred with one of the other soldiers.  I was considerably better than most of them, so I'll admit I was happy to see the captain there.  If he had the time to spar it would be nice to have a challenge.

	I could sense the Fierce Deity's presence with me, and he seemed to agree.  He didn't say anything, but his eagerness at the idea of combat was obvious.  I was eager too.  My research was going nowhere, and I was starting to get sick of dusty old books.  I'd enjoyed some of the tales of the Hero that I'd read, but my attempts to find out about my problem were going nowhere.

	And all that sitting and reading had me more than ready for a little physical action.

	"What are you doing here, kid?"  Captain Matin had come over to where I was limbering up.  

	I looked up at him, puzzled. "I'm here to spar."  This was the practice ground, what else would I be here for?

	"Aren't you a little young for that?"  

	I felt a flicker of anger.  I was getting very sick of that reaction.  "I know how to use a sword, sir," I said shortly.

	He looked at the obviously well-worn blade that hung on my back, but apparently that was insufficient evidence for him.  "Look, we're real soldiers here, kid.  This is no place for playing games."

	"I'm not here to play games."  I was getting more and more angry.  "And my sword isn't some kind of toy."  I drew the blade and settled my shield into place on my arm.  

	Captain Matin looked a bit taken aback.  With sunlight winking off the steel it was quite obvious that my sword, though a little shorter than the ones he and his guards carried, was quite real.  And I knew my stance was real too, if perhaps slightly unorthodox.  I'd developed my own fighting style, since I'd had nobody to train me.

	"Kid..."

	"I can prove it to you.  Come on."

	"All right kid.  But don't complain if you get hurt."

	I narrowed my eyes.  He was the one in danger of getting hurt.  I saw several of the soldiers I'd sparred with before standing around, and I knew if he'd bothered to ask them they could have told him I was good.  But he would obviously rather just assume things.  Well, he was going to be in for a nasty surprise.

	He drew his blade and took a defensive stance, obviously worried about hurting me.  That was fine by me.  I immediately went on the offensive.  "Hya!"  I drove forward, using my momentum to make up for my lack of reach.  He was shocked by the quick, aggressive attack and had to take a step back to get space to block me.  I attacked again, driving him back another step.  I chased him nearly all the way around the practice ring before he finally got his feet under him and started countering properly.  I was grinning broadly, and I could feel the Fierce Deity smiling with me, he obviously approved.

	Captain Matin finally took the offensive for a bit, and I smiled more. This might actually be the challenge I'd been looking for.  He was good, now that he wasn't underestimating me.  I blocked all of his attacks, using sword and shield in turn.  As we circled around I noticed that a bit of a crowd was gathering.  Mixed in with the soldiers watching the bout were some of the castle servants.  I caught a flash of pink and gold and realized that Zelda was watching too.  I hadn't wanted to make a spectacle of myself, but there wasn't anything I could do about the audience.

	Captain Matin nearly got a strike through my guard, and I turned my full attention back to the fight.  I needed to tune out the watchers and concentrate on what I was doing or I might end up hurt. There were fairies and potions on hand, of course, but I still would rather not get injured.

	I managed a block and counter combo that gave me the offensive again, and I drove the captain back several steps.  He scowled at me, obviously not pleased with being beaten, and tried to drive me back in turn, but I held my ground and once again got off a counter that he just barely blocked.  His scowl darkened as I pushed him back again and again.  The Fierce Deity laughed inside my head, and I nearly laughed out loud myself.  This was a lot of fun.

	Then the captain suddenly took two steps back, and threw his shield at me!  I deflected the unexpected missile with my own shield, but before I could take advantage of the situation the world went blindingly white.  He'd thrown a flash-bang!  I shook my head, stars spangling my vision.  We hadn't agreed to a no-holds-barred combat, just a normal sparring match!  Inside my head the Fierce Deity snarled with anger.  This wasn't right.

	Half-blind I could see just enough to get my sword up again, for he was still attacking me!  Red-hot rage exploded within me.  How dare he!  How dare he use such a dirty trick!  How dare he attack after nearly blinding me!  This was supposed to be a practice, not real combat!  What did he think he was doing?  Something slipped loose inside me, and I let out a shout of rage in a voice that wasn't my own.  I flung aside my own shield as the sword in my hand changed, and I changed to match it.  Captain Matin, suddenly looking [i]up[/i] at me rather than down, yelped in terror and ran, and I went after him, rage still hazing my vision.  Around me chaos was erupting, but I didn't care, I had eyes only for the cowardly, base creature before me.  I swung my blade, even though he was out of its reach, and a disc of power shot from the tip of it.  He tripped, and the energy shot over his head to slam into the castle wall.  Some of the crowd started screaming, and they scattered, trying to escape the practice grounds.  I ran up to my fallen foe and raised my blade overhead.

	"Stop!"  A little girl in a pink dress darted in front of me, hands upraised.  "Link, don't!"

	Somehow I halted the sword's descent, bringing it to a standstill just above the girl's outstretched hands.  Somewhere inside the creature of rage that I'd become I recognized the princess Zelda.  What had I done?  I'd nearly killed her, and I'd nearly killed Captain Matin as well!  I dropped the sword, my hands gone nerveless, and then the world faded away.

-----
	
	I awoke in my bed, and for a moment I hoped it had just been a dream.  Then I saw that Zelda sat in a chair next to my bed.  She turned towards me when I moved and I felt a pang to see her face so lined with worry.  

	"Link!  Are you all right?"

	I sighed.  "Yeah.  I'm fine."

	"What happened?"

	"I don't want to talk about it."

	Her worried frown turned to a demanding glare.  "There is a hole the size of a horse in the castle wall.  Half the servants and guards are hiding in their rooms, convinced they're going to die, we're still trying to find everyone and reassure them.  Captain Matin is in the infirmary having a nervous breakdown.  My father wants to have you shut up in the dungeon so you can't do any more damage.  It was all I could do to talk him out of it.  And I just saw you turn into a ten foot tall giant with some kind of ridiculous magic sword that, by the way, changed back into a perfectly ordinary blade as soon as you dropped it.  So want to or not you're [i]going[/i] to talk about it."

	"I'm sorry."  I looked away from her.  "Maybe your father is right and I should be locked up."

	"No.  You didn't actually hurt anybody, you just scared a lot of people.  You don't need to be locked away.  But you do need to tell me what's going on."

	"I... I don't know exactly how to explain, but I'll try."  So I did.  I told her everything, about Shadow, and the masks, and the Fierce Deity too.  I left out some of the details, but I told her enough that the sun was beginning to set by the time the telling was done.

	"This is very serious," said said when I had finished.  "A dark god, your evil shadow, and three cursed souls..."

	"Shadow isn't evil!  And the others aren't cursed," I protested.

	"Aren't they?"

	"They've helped me. They're my friends."

	"Even this Fierce Deity?"

	"Without him I couldn't have beaten Majora and saved Termina."

	"But Termina is a dark land, Link.  Anything from there is suspect, even its heroes."

	"Then I'm suspect too, Zelda.  I'm a hero of Termina now, every bit as much as I'm a hero of Hyrule."

	"No!"  Her response was instant, and firm.  "It's not the same.  You're the Hero of Time, the Hero from Hyrule's legends.  You belong here.  I shouldn't have let you go wandering off."

	I scowled at her.  "I don't belong to you, Zelda."

	"You belong to Hyrule," she said.  "And I'm Hyrule's princess."

	"Well you can start giving me orders when you're the queen," I snapped.

	Zelda's eyes flashed.  "I'll be the queen someday, and for right now if I need to I can have my father give you some orders.  Orders to the dungeon, perhaps, he'd be happy to do that!"

	[i]:Hey, chill a bit, little dude. Don't get her riled up.  Girls get dangerous when you get 'em riled up.:[/i]  I tried to relax a bit. Mikau was right.  Making Zelda angry would accomplish nothing.

	"I'm sorry," I said.  "I didn't mean to upset you.  I'm just kind of worried."

	Zelda looked away, and I could see her let out a sigh, trying to relax as well no doubt.  "I'm sorry too.  Link... is my father right?  Are you dangerous?  If you turn into some kind of... of rampaging monster..."

	"I think I can control it.  I only changed because, well..."

	[i]:Because his actions were greatly dishonorable,:[/i] said the Fierce Deity within me.  

	[i]:Maybe they were, but trying to kill him was an over-reaction,:[/i] I replied.  [i]:And think of all the innocent people you could have hurt!  Not to mention the damage to the castle.:

	:I am... sorry.  Thou art correct, the innocent should not pay for the sins of the guilty.:[/i]

	"Link?"  

	"He says he's sorry," I said.

	"What?"

	"The Fierce Deity.  He says that he's sorry.  He took over because he was angry about Captain Matin cheating like that.  But he's sorry."

	"Oh.  Well... uh.... Okay." Zelda looked nonplussed.  Apparently she didn't know how to talk to a voice living in my head.  

	[i]:Although this captain should likewise tender his apologies.  Against a child such tactics wert base and vile.:

	:Hey now, don't you start that too!  I'm not a child!:

	:But in his eyes thou art.  No doubt that is why he did react so, defeat at thine youthful hands was more than he could bear.:

	:The way his dishonor was more than you could?:

	:Ah.  Indeed so.:

	:He's got you there.: [/i] That was Shadow, laughing.  

	"Is he talking again?  You look so intent..."

	I looked up at Zelda and nodded.  "Yes.  He says that he thinks Captain Matin should apologize too, that it wasn't an honorable thing to use a flash-bang during sparring."

	She smiled a bit.  "He has a point.  Although the captain isn't in any condition to do so right now, I think."

	"I'm sorry too.  Would it help if I went and apologized to him?"

	"I'll speak with the healers and see.  I really don't know if it would make him worse or not."

	I nodded.  I hoped I hadn't done the captain any permanent harm.

	"I'll speak with the healers about your condition as well," said Zelda.  I bit back an automatic protest.  I didn't want strangers getting involved in this!  But half the castle had seen me transform, so it was really pretty pointless to forbid Zelda to talk to others about it.  "And if the healers don't know I'll see about consulting with the mages.  Something has to be done to exorcise these spirits from you."

	I nearly protested again at that, but managed to hold my tongue.  I'd been seeking understanding, and control.  If the royal mages could help me obtain that I'd be glad.  But I didn't need nor want an exorcism!  Shadow and the others were my friends, not my enemies.  I'd be glad to let them go if they wanted, but we'd tried that already and it hadn't worked.  I wasn't going to let some mage cast them out!  Not unless I was certain they wanted to go, and that it wouldn't hurt them, at least.  But it was obvious that Zelda had made up her mind that they were dangerous.  So I just let her go off to consult with her advisers.  The time for argument might come later, for now I'd see what else I could learn.

	[i]:She might be right, child,:[/i] said Darmani softly after she'd gone.  [i]:We don't know enough to be sure.  Fierce Deity is certainly at least a little bit dangerous.  And for all we know we're doing you some harm by sharing your body.:

	:I really can't believe that.  You've all helped me so much!:

	:Darmani speaks well,:[/i] said the Fierce Deity.  [i]:I may have done thee ill.:

	:Well the answer isn't just to try and destroy you all.  I won't let that happen.:

	:What then?:[/i] asked Shadow.  [i]:I mean, I appreciate not being destroyed as much as the next person, but this whole thing is a bit of a mess.  If getting rid of us isn't the answer, what is?:

	:Learning.  Gaining control.:[/i]  I thought about it.  [i]:I learned to use your skills once in Termina, with the masks.  I need to learn that all over again, without them.  I need to know how to change, and that way I should be able to control it, and not let it get away from me.  More research is still called for, and I'll take whatever I can learn from healers and mages, but most of all I think I need to stop being afraid of this, and start practicing.:

	:Is good,:[/i] piped up Scrub cheerfully.  :Is very good idea!  You have courage, always.  Face this with courage, like all things.:

	:Exactly.  I've been so afraid of being found out that I let it cripple me.  You are my friends, and your skills are assets to be used, not things to be feared.:

	:Even mine?:[/i] was the Fierce Deity's question.

	I laughed.  [i]:Yes, even yours.  Especially yours.  I didn't back down from facing Majora, why should I back down from facing you?:

	:Majora fell to me, not to thee.:

	:But you never would have gotten that far if not for me,: [i]I said firmly.  :And you're in my body now.  I'm not going to let you just take it over whenever you please.  I'm going to face you, and learn to use your skills, and we're going to figure out how to cooperate.:

	:So certain thou art, little one.:

	:Yes.:

	:We shall see.:[/i]

-----
	
	I wanted to mount up on Epona and ride out to find someplace safe to experiment first thing the next day, but Mikau pointed out that it might look to Zelda like I was running away, and she would probably assume something ridiculous, like that I'd been taken over and taken off against my will.  So I didn't start immediately on my goal of gaining control of my ability to change forms.  Instead I went back to the library.  Since the secret was now out, perhaps I could ask the helpful librarian for the answers I needed.

	He looked very nervous when he saw me come in.  I didn't recall seeing him at the practice grounds, but even if he hadn't been there no doubt he'd heard about what happened.  Actually that might be worse, rumors often grew in the telling.

	I decided to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.  "So now that everybody knows I have a problem, I'll just ask.  Do you have any books that are about involuntary magical transformations?"

	"Uh.  That's what...?  Uhm.  Yes.  Yes of course.  Mostly, uh, about the work of evil mages.  Which I don't know... Is that...?"  He was obviously very flustered.  Shadow laughed inside my head, but I just found it annoying.  Still, it could be worse.

	"No, there were no evil mages involved.  It's a long story really.  It won't happen again, I can promise you that much."  [i]:So you hope,:[/i] said the Fierce Deity with a challenging air, and I shot him an internal glare.  All right, so it [i]probably[/i] wouldn't happen again, but there was some chance it might.  The librarian didn't need to hear that, it would only scare him.

	"Hmm.  Transformations that weren't caused by evil spells.  Hmm. Well, there is the Four Sword Hero, that was a very strange one, but it might relate in some way."  He flipped through his indexes, and then led me to a spot where he pointed out several books.  "These are all about the Four Sword Hero.  This one in particular discusses the sword, and what is known of how it worked, so it might be of some use to you."  He touched one book's spine.  He turned to leave, then turned back.  "And... uh... do you think you might have time today to tell me some of your story?  The book I want to write...  well..."

	I knew that yesterday's events must be making him extra curious.  And I had promised.  Besides, there was no rush, I should probably stay here for at least another week or so, which would give me plenty of time to read all the Four Swords books."Sure," I said.  "I'll tell you part of it, at least."

	"Thank you!  Just let me get a quill!  I need to take notes!"  He scurried off, and I smiled.  That had gotten the last of the nervousness out of him, and he was back to treating me like a normal person, and not a dangerous lunatic that might go off at any moment.  

	[i]:And just think about all the fun you have to look forward to now,:[/i] said Shadow.  [i]:Half the castle is going to act like that around you.:

	:Ugh. Don't remind me.:[/i]

	Shadow laughed.  [i]:Hey, just warning you so you'll be prepared.:

	:Maybe I should make you deal with them.:

	:I'd just scare 'em when I took over.  They'd be sure you were turning into a demon or something.:

	:Well, maybe I can figure out how to keep from changing when you take over.  It'd serve you right to have to deal with some of this nonsense yourself.:

	:Hey, it's not my fault!:

	:Maybe not, but you seemed awfully gleeful about watching me suffer through it.  It'd only be fair to let you share the pain.:

	:Hmph.:[/i]

	I chuckled at him.  Then the librarian returned, and I turned my attention back to the outer world.  I passed several surprisingly pleasant hours telling him my story.  He constantly asked for more detail, and I found myself having to struggle a bit to dredge up memories that felt older than they really should have been.  He took copious notes about all of it, and between that and the questions I had actually only gotten as far as obtaining the spiritual stones when we had to call a halt for the evening.  Though I had explained to him about the time travel, and that these events hadn't actually happened to anybody but me.  He noted that down too, without any sign of hesitation or disbelief, to my relief.  It would make telling the story much easier if he wasn't skeptical about such things.  

	I was somewhat reluctant to leave, but I didn't want to be late to dinner.  Zelda, in a fine diplomatic move, had invited me to dine formally with the royal family that evening.  Zelda was young still, but she was already shaping up to be the queen she would someday become.  I thought about that as I changed into my best tunic.  In some ways she was much younger than I, but she hadn't had a normal childhood either, really.  She'd been able to run and play, but she hadn't been able to live free of care or responsibility, those things had been part of her life for even longer than being a hero had been part of mine.

	I'd been seeing her as a child because she was often childish around me, she obviously liked having me as a playmate.   But yesterday I'd seen the princess, not the child.  Perhaps she might understand me more than I'd thought.

	The dinner would have been hilarious, were it not so aggravating.  Everybody at the table except the king and Zelda herself acted as though I might jump up and attack them at any moment.  A sudden reach for the salt and nobles flinched back.  A turn to my neighbor and everybody on that side of the table recoiled.

	Shadow was in stitches over the whole thing.  I was just annoyed.  I ended up leaning heavily on Mikau, who was better than I at staying calm and cheerful.  Though I was glad I didn't have to say much, else my conversation might have been peppered with "dude."  Which probably wouldn't have alarmed any of the nobles, but would certainly make Zelda wonder what was going on.  And she was smart enough she might figure it out too.  I wasn't certain how she'd react, but given how little she trusted the others, it probably wouldn't be good.

	But by the end of the dinner the various nobles at the table had stopped jumping every time I moved.  So Zelda had been right about that, at least.  Now when somebody started talking about me, one of those here might say that they had dinner with me and I seemed completely normal. Given enough time the rumors would fade entirely, provided there were no further incidents.  And I swore to myself that there wouldn't be.