Chapter 32: Fresh Wounds Keanu woke up from his bed on a Saturday morning. He thought today would be quiet and refreshing after his Friday incident, but all he felt was the heavy feeling that today was not his day to feel better. He hated that feeling. Thanks to Terrence for reminding him, it always bothered and upset him whenever he woke up to remind himself that he was still alive and well. He should have appreciated life and he did and tried to. He got a new chapter in life after moving here to Rexville City, he made friends, he got a boyfriend and it all made him happy, but why did he feel unsatisfied with what he got? This was so unfair, as if all the hard work wasn’t worth it, and made him feel disappointed. The dreams he had made a comeback, relieving the experience he dreaded. The airport, the long lines, the waiting terminal, and the people gathered around at the gate for their return flight to their ill-fated destination. He would always remember looking at the nose of the plane before he walked in the gate. Keanu sighed and lifted the blankets off. He smelled bacon coming from the kitchen. He stood up from the bed onto his feet and stretched gently his body and took deep breaths. He yawned and the smell of bacon got stronger. His father was making breakfast and was smelling good. He left the bedroom and made for the kitchen and dining room. “Morning, son,” said Kendall from the kitchen. “Morning, Dad.” Keanu took his seat at the table. “Did you sleep well?” “Yes.” Keanu yawned. “I’m making scrambled eggs, alright?” “Sure,” Keanu laid his head on top of his arms on the table, watching his father cooking. Normally he would make his own breakfast but understood why his father went ahead to make breakfast. Because of his yesterday’s ordeal with a disgruntled ferret. His father walked to the table with two plates and placed one for his son. Kendall already spotted his son’s mood. It went back to zero. The wolves ate quietly while Kendall observed in concern. It was like whenever Hunter was here, he would enlighten up and could smile like he always cherished, but once he went back to his home, Keanu’s mood was switched off. Kendall sipped his coffee and spoke, “Keanu, didn’t you say you have a date after the week's exams?” Keanu almost dropped his fork. “I… I forgot.” “It’s okay, you can always call Hunter.” “Yeah, he hasn’t told me where he was taking me tonight.” “Is it today?” “I guess, but I’m not sure if I’m up for it.” Keanu looked down at his plate, ears down. “Maybe we should postpone it.” “I understand, but let Hunter know about it, okay?” Keanu nodded and continued to eat his breakfast. “Keanu,” his father started, “do you think it’s time to come for a visit?” “Where?” “The memorial at the park. It’ll be good for you, a good closure, and pay some respect—” “I’m not ready,” Keanu immediately said. Kendall sighed in defeat. It was the first time he brought it up. “I know it’s hard, son, but you should not bury it from your mind and keep it away from everyone else.” “Who else needs to hear about it?” Keanu’s voice lifted. “I don’t want to remember it!” After a short pause, Kendall said, “Hunter’s worried about you, Keanu.” “I know, he’s copping with me.” “And I also told him about it.” The young wolf glared at his father. “You what?” “But!” Kendall raised his voice for clarity. “I only told him that you were in the accident. I didn’t tell him everything. I’m leaving it to you when you get the chance.” Keanu’s voice felt weak. “Dad… don’t do this to me…” “I want you to let it go, Keanu. You cannot hold it forever; you know what our therapist said.” Keanu’s eyes watered. “N-no…” Kendall pleaded. “You never told me what happened. Not only did I see the whole thing, but you never spoke a word about it. I knew you were vulnerable when Hunter’s father came into the hospital.” “His… father?” “Yes, he came to speak to you about the accident, but I knew you did not want to talk about it because it was too recent. I had to cover for you to tell him what I saw that afternoon. It’s been over a year now, Keanu. There’s now a memorial at the park and I hoped that on the second anniversary you would come over and make peace with the other families.” Keanu let out a sniffle. “Please, stop it, don’t make me.” Kendall swallowed the lump in his throat, calming himself down. “I’m sorry, son. I love you, but you cannot pretend that everything was the way it was. Everything changed and you know it, and you have changed but you don’t even see it, haven’t you?” Keanu wasn’t the quiet wolf back in Little Lake, he assumed it was because he moved here that felt different and new but did not take into account that he had made some changes to himself in the most subtle manner. He opened up more than he could before and made friends this semester and a lover… he found love along the way. Keanu looked back at his plate. “I have now noticed…” “But you still pretend that it never happened, why?” Keanu sniffled and sobbed. “I don’t know why…” he stood up from his seat. “Kea—” Keanu ran off to his room and closed the door with the lock on. Kendall facepalmed his forehead and muttered. “Idiot!” He wished for what would his late wife did in this situation. If he could not carefully crack the shell, then who could? … Across the street on the Emerald Tower, Hunter woke up and yawned, stretching his body. He carefully found a spot on the floor to lay in a push-up position where he wouldn’t disturb his sleeping brother. The mattress was right next to him as it took up almost the entire central space of his room, he started to push twenty. Then he went to the pull-up bar and did another twenty and the same for the chin-ups. River woke up from hearing Hunter’s huffing, seeing him hanging on the wall. It never stopped to amaze him how he kept it up. River yawed and stretched. “Morning…” Hunter muttered a morning greeting as he lifted himself above the bar of his muzzle. River rubbed his eyes. “You know, how do you do that?” Hunter finished and safely landed his feet on the ground. “I keep it up, more effort, the better and you get used to it without tiring out.” “That’s what the coach says. Oh, and there is this classmate who is in the second year in PE, and he always passes out. He is always trying too hard.” “Who is it?” “Uh, Jackson? He’s an arctic wolf. He’s kinda rowdy around in school. I have met him a few times this semester.” “That’s Keanu’s cousin. His name is Jack.” “Just Jack? Oh… no wonder he gives me that grim look.” “Oh, River, you should have asked.” “I don’t do it on purpose, I just learn names from hearing others.” After freshening up in the bathroom, Mrs. Montana and Sally made waffles for breakfast. Hunter and River arrived in the dining room without Rylan who was still asleep in his bedroom. River did not want to bother him; he was always grumpy and stubborn to be awakened on a Saturday morning. “Morning, Mom, watcha making?” “Waffles and strawberries, hon.” “You’re mixing the strawberries into the batter?” River cried. “Quiet down, River, and no, we ran out of blueberries for the mix,” said Sally while adding batter into the waffle maker. “We’re adding it separately.” Mrs. Montana spoke to her youngest while mixing the batter in a bowl. She was wearing gloves from getting any fur into the mix. “Hunter, why are you using the inflatable mattress? Is the bed getting uncomfortable?” “No, Mom, the bed is fine,” Hunter assured. “Then who is sleeping?” River replied, “It’s me, Mom, I’m sleeping with Hunter.” “Why, is your bed worn out? I’m planning to buy a new bed to replace our current one, so if—” “No, mine is fine mom. It’s just… you know… Rylan and all…” River shrugged dismissively. Hunter didn’t say anything and let them know how he felt. “Did Rylan say something to you? Are you having problems with Rylan?” “No, nothing, it’s just… it feels dense in there.” Mary sighed. “It’s just so unfair how he treats Hunter, Mom. I had it, okay? If he has a problem with that, then I may as well sleep with Hunter until he stops being a homophone.” “Homophone?” Sally said confusedly but chuckled. “I bet no one will buy that phone.” “What…?” River was confused, cocking his head to one side to Hunter. Hunter whispered to him, “It’s homophobe.” “Good morning,” said Dylan Montana. The older wolf-man walked into the dining table. He was four inches taller than Hunter, graying dark brown fur, dark-brown eyes, and wearing his black and white sleeping robes. He patted each of his sons’ shoulders and came to his wife for a morning kiss. “Morning, Dad,” said Hunter and River. “Morning, Dylan. The coffee maker is ready,” said Mary routinely. Dylan picked a mug, the new one Hunter bought, and poured brewed coffee with creamer. “Is Rylan awake? River, did you wake him up?” “No, and listen, River is sleeping with Hunter because of Rylan’s issue.” Dylan looked at his youngest son. “That’s true, River?” “Yes, Dad.” Dylan sighed. “What are we going to do to him?” “Send him to diversity school, that’ll teach him,” Sally suggested. “That’s plan B, Sally.” Dylan sipped his coffee. “And what’s plan A?” “Trying to find the origin. I think this time I’m gonna ask you, kids, to do a bit of research at school. Sally, do you have a good idea why?” Sally exasperatedly sighed. “All I wanted is a quiet morning—but I have no idea, Dad. You think I have the time to spy on Rylan all day in school?” River said to his father, “I tried to stay close to him and avoid trouble in case he bullies a gay student. I saw him cringe when he saw two lesbians kissing and holding hands.” “I wonder if he was like that when he dated Catherine,” Sally wondered. “And that might explain why she dumped him.” “But she would have told us, would she?” Hunter added. “Is Catherine still in school?” “I think so,” shrugged Sally, “she is still in the cheerleading squad. If I have the time to look, I’ll talk to her.” “Okay, you’ll do that while I keep Rylan away from gay people,” River said. “That sounded so weird, River.” “If you kids bring me any clues, we’ll finally end his phase,” said Dylan as he sipped another coffee. “More like his emo phase,” added Sally. “Hey, Dad,” Hunter started, “after breakfast, can I talk to you? It’s about the plane crash.” Everyone in the family looked at Hunter, especially his father, hardly anyone talked about this kind of stuff. Dylan rarely talked about it at home as he did not want to give his wife and children scary information about aviation disasters. Again, Hunter and Dylan breakfasted on the balcony of the apartment together. Hunter began to fill in about everything from yesterday. He told him about Keanu’s confrontation with the ferret, explaining why he was staying over in Keanu’s apartment and what was behind all this ordeal. Hunter spoke, “Dad, you won’t believe this, but Keanu was a passenger on flight 8085.” Dylan had a hard time believing that as he stared at his eldest son. “Keanu you say. What’s his last name?” “It’s Winters. Have you talked with his father?” Dylan’s ears flickered. “Oh, yes, I met a Winters. I think the boy’s whole family was there when I came to the hospital. I came to talk to him about what happened on the flight, but his father wouldn’t let me, he told me because it was too recent to talk about it, so he told me what happen. He was in the airport arrivals when he saw the plane landing and then aborting before crashing into the forest near the highway. However, the thing is, the sooner we talk to the survivors with fresh memories, the better the picture of the accident is. But there was no need, in the end, we found the black boxes and analyzed the weather. A rare but deadly case of a microburst. “I’m… I’m surprised you’re seeing this boy, so how is he? Is he doing alright after the crash?” Dylan smiled with curiosity about all of this. “I don’t know. I didn’t know he was in that crash, Dad, he never told me.” “I understand where he’s coming from. It’s not easy being the sole survivor, Hunter. The poor boy must be suffering from PTSD or survivor’s guilt.” “My friend Xavier said the same thing. It’s not easy, I’m too afraid to ask Keanu about it, he would deny it right in my face.” “What makes you think that?” “Well, Xerxes told me that Terrence was looking after Keanu, he wanted to ask if he was sitting next to his dead girlfriend. Keanu denied everything he said profusely.” “I see, hmm, there’s something I wanted to know.” “What is it?” “When I looked at the manifest. Keanu was seating five rows ahead of the tail section. He was sitting next to two passengers. But here’s the thing, after the crash, he was found on the very last row of seats. The tail section was bisected upon impact and away from the crash site. That boy was very lucky. I heard he was the only least injured patient in the hospital.” “So, he changed seats or something?” “Apparently, but there were seats available.” Dylan shrugged. “I guess he didn’t want to seat next to those people that he moved a few rows back and be alone. It’s all speculation, but this kind of thing happened to other plane crash survivors, they all made a last-minute decision or a casual decision to change seats.” Hunter wondered why Terrence wanted to know if Keanu was eating next to his late girlfriend. What was there to prove? “So, are you worried about him?” Hunter nodded worriedly. “I do, Dad. I love him.” His heart pumped by his words. “I think all he needs is support. I’m sure his family has given him the help, and besides, I heard that Polaris Airlines officials were willing to give a huge compensation for all the damages to the victim’s families and the same for Keanu and his family. It’s one of the few airlines that planned this kind of thing in case of unfortunate accidents in the future.” A bolt of lightning struck Hunter’s mind. “What did you say? What airline?” “Polaris.” For some reason, it did not occur to Hunter to connect two things together because this was kind of trivial on the back of his head. “So, that’s why Keanu refused that name…” “Name?” “Eh, Keanu has a baby cousin named Jennifer and his uncles were going to name her Polaris at first, but umm…” Hunter shrugged. “Now I know why he refused such a name.” “Understandable, but… what in the world, Hunter? But back on topic, I hope Keanu can go through this, I’m sure he needs you.” Mary opened the balcony door and was holding Hunter’s ringing phone. “Hunter, your phone is calling.” Hunter dropped his fork and knife on his plate, grabbed his phone, and answered. “Hello?” “Hunter, it’s me, Kendall. Could you come over to my house and talk to Keanu? I kind of upset him and he is now in his room.” “What happened?” “I tried to convince him to talk about the accident with you, but he refused, and he locked the door. Could you come over and talk to him? I’ll be there if you need me, he needs someone like you. I honestly cannot do this on my own.” “Sure, I’ll come over. Thanks for calling me.” “Thank you, Hunter.” Kendall hung up. Hunter put the phone down on the table and looked at his father. “Dad, I’m going to Keanu’s, something happened and he’s not doing well.” “I understand, just be patient and careful, okay?” Hunter finished his breakfast and went to his room to change his clothes from his usual sleeping attire. It was Saturday and the boulevard was quiet, but the transit was active, albeit minimal. He walked through the pedestrian bridge to the Starlight Plaza, entering the quiet lobby where he met with a hoping Kendall who was standing there anxiously. “Morning, Mr. Winters.” “Morning, Hunter, I’m sorry that I had to call you over, I hope this doesn’t bother you.” “No, it’s okay,” Hunter assured. “How’s Keanu?” “He’s fine but upset about what I said.” Kendall gestured him to the elevator. “I tried to convince him to talk about his experience with you so he can let it out of his system.” He pressed a button and closed the elevator. “I know he’s been hogging it for a long time, and he is rather trying to forget about it and pretending that everything was like before. I tried to give some sense to him, but he refused. Perhaps someone like you of your age could soften him up.” “I… I guess I can try. He was happy when I kept him company yesterday.” “That’s what I want. Now that he’s your boyfriend, he should be listening to you. I may be his father, but kids sometimes don’t have the confidence to speak their feelings with their parents.” “Yeah, I wish my brother Rylan could talk to us like that.” Hunter sighed. “You have problems at home?” Kendall raised an eyebrow. Before Hunter could answer they stopped at the eighth floor of the building. They left the elevator and walked to the Winters’ apartment. Hunter answered briefly, “My brother hates me for being gay.” “That’s rough, son,” Kendall said as he opened the door without needing to unlock it. “Have your parents done something about it?” “We’re trying, but Rylan is just so stubborn to talk about it. We don’t even know why he hates me in the first place.” They walked inside to the living room. “Alright, maybe you could use that to your advantage to talk him out of it.” “What?” “If Keanu doesn’t want to talk about his experience, maybe you could talk about your problems first.” “Is that a good idea?” “Maybe, it might work, think about it, use it as your final resort, okay?” Hunter had no idea what Mr. Winters had in mind but as a police officer, he seemed very strategic about conflicting conversations or in this case an emotional conversation. Just what the hell did he do when dealing with crooks, thugs, and burglars to let out their plans and intentions. This guy was something. Hunter sighed, agreeing with his plan. “Okay, I’ll do it, but, as a last resort.” “Sure,” Kendall pointed to Keanu’s bedroom. “You know where he is, right?” Hunter nodded. “I’ll be in the living room.” Kendall sat on the couch and picked up a magazine, pretending that nothing happened, but his ears were active to hear everything. Hunter walked to the closed door and knocked on it. “Keanu?” After Keanu ran back to his room, he lay there sobbing quietly in bed. He balled his body into a fetal position and closed his eyes, his tears continued to leak from his eyelids. He lost track of time until he heard the door knocking. Hunter tried to listen, but the door was quiet. Hunter knocked again. “Keanu, it’s me, Hunter. Your father called me to come over. Are you okay?” he raised one ear to listen. The door opened, but only an inch or two, Hunter could see Keanu’s white face and one gray, puffy eye with tears trailing down his furry cheeks. He had been crying not too long ago. Keanu regained composure. “Dad, called you here? Why?” “Because he’s worried about you… and the same goes for me… I came here as fast as I could.” “Well, there’s nothing to worry about, I’m fine now, Hunter, you can come back home now.” Hunter quickly grabbed the edge of the opened door before Keanu could close it. “Hunter, let go of the door,” Keanu calmly demanded. “I’m not going back until I know my boyfriend is feeling alright.” “I already told you. I’m. Fine.” Keanu was irritated and tried to close the door, but Hunter’s strength forbade it. Keanu was losing his patience. “Do you want to lose your hand?” “I would rather have a broken hand than leave you all alone in your room, Keanu.” “You’re crazy, have some common sense.” “You have some common sense! Look at you, you’re hurt, and you know it, but you don’t want my company anymore, was yesterday just all a ruse?” There was a dense quiet. Hunter was still holding the door firmly. Keanu’s gray eye looked down and disappeared to fully opened the door quietly in defeat. Hunter had managed the impossible by finding a way to talk to him and let him inside the bedroom. Hunter stood on the threshold while Keanu stood there with his head and ears down. “No, Hunter…” That was the honest Keanu he wanted to hear. Hunter slowly made toward him, he looked smaller than he was at this stage of sadness. He was now vulnerable and could shatter at any moment like a sensitive snowflake that needed the proper care. “Come on, let’s sit down.” Keanu obeyed and sat on the bed. Hunter followed. The tension was heavy, but Hunter knew he had to do something to start the conversation. He knew Keanu won’t talk about it, but his own issue will help him levitate the dense air. “Keanu, you’re not the only one with personal problems… I… I have family problems at home.” Keanu looked at him with a worried look. His ears had sunk against his ears to the point he didn’t have any. Hunter continued, “A year ago, I came out to my parents, brothers, and sister. They all accepted me for who I am, but… my young brother Rylan didn’t. We don’t know where he got this from, but it didn’t happen at our own home, and to this day we don’t have an answer yet on why he hates me.” Keanu looked away and looked down at his hands resting on his lap but kept listening. “It hurts me that he is giving me the cold shoulder every day and doing every possible way to make my life miserable. Not only verbal, but his silent treatment, and his indirectness. I even tried to be on his good side by giving him a nice baseball hat, but he threw it away into my trash can in my room.” Hunter exhaled, “You have no idea how much that hurt when he did that. “One day, like this one in November, I befriended one of Rylan’s friends, Perry, who sometimes came over for all-nighter video games and slumbers. Little did Rylan know that Perry was bi and one day, he came to my home and…” he shrugged but wasn’t taken lightly, “…you know, but Rylan caught us, and that incident made things much worse, Rylan disconnected Perry and continued to ignore me even more. Perry felt sorry for what happened, and I also feel the same way. We… really screwed up… and as of today, I’m still trying to avoid another conflict at home because… if something like this happened again, I’m afraid of losing Rylan. I still love him behind all that hate of his…” Hunter looked down. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier, about not letting you go to my house unless I say so, but only because I don’t want you near Rylan.” Keanu looked at him with a sorry gaze. He spoke softly, “So, that’s why.” Hunter nodded. “I don’t want you to get yourself hurt by him. Who knows what he has under his sleeves? I don’t want to know. I may be exaggerating, but I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” Keanu nodded quietly and looked down. “That’s awful.” Keanu was never discriminated against for his orientation; he never spoke about it during his middle and high school years until… Keanu kept looking down at his legs. “So, what are you telling me this…?” “I’m telling you this, so you can… open up to me…” Keanu remained quiet. He knew what he was going for and felt disappointed. It scared him that this was happening. “Hey, look at me,” Hunter softly said. With one or two fingers, he gently lifted his lover’s muzzle and directed it up to his face. Their eyes met; Hunter saw another tear swimming down with the matted fur on his cheeks. Keanu was holding painfully his feelings and could not hold them anymore. Hunter’s green eyes reminded him of how comforting they were whenever he gazed at them. Hunter spoke softly, holding one hand with Keanu’s. “I now know what happened, Keanu. I talked to Xerxes, Xavier, your father, and my father. You were on that plane. I’m not gonna judge you, and no one will do so. You’re not at fault for what happened that day.” Keanu was whimpering. Hunter assured him, “It’s okay to cry on me…” Keanu let out a bawling cry, wrapping his arms around Hunter’s torso and head resting on his chest. “Why me, Hunter?” He sobbed. “Why me?” Hunter held him back, shushing him comfortingly and rubbing his back. He had no definite answer but said what he felt. “I guess fate had its reason to give you a second chance to live.” “One-hundred-and-twenty people died, except me…” Keanu loudly muffled. “It’s alright, Keanu, it’s now in the past.” Hunter continued his comfort; one tear came out from his ears. “D-do you know… h-how is like to wake up every day… and re-remember why you’re still alive?” “No, I don’t…” Hunter admitted. Keanu raised his voice. “I don’t want to be alone anymore, Hunter! I hate people taking pity on me and I just want to move on, but I can’t! I can still see their faces every night, I can still smell the burning fuel, I can hear their screams, and I can still feel the cold rain that day. I don’t want to be alone!” he sobbed. Hunter held him, letting Keanu let out all the deep sorrowed feelings he held so far. A lump grew in his on his throat, he did feel pity for him for all the pain he went through. “I’m s-sorry,” Keanu sobbed. Hunter continued to soothe him and calm him down, rubbing his back and head as Keanu leaned close to him, and found warmth in each other. It took a while, but Hunter had the patience. Once he could tell his cries were ceasing, he spotted a box of tissues on the nightstand and stretched one arm to reach the whole box. “Here.” Keanu pulled one out and blew his black nose on it and took another to wipe his tears. Hunter kept rubbing his back. “When my little brother River was sad or hurt, I would comfort him like this,” said Hunter. “You’re a great big brother, Hunter,” Keanu said and blew his snout onto the tissue. “I can see where you’re coming from, and… that’s what I… what I love about you the most…” Hunter’s heart fluttered at those words. “I love you, too, Keanu.” Keanu looked at him with glimmering eyes as if full of hope came back to him at what he said. “You love me?” Hunter smiled confidently and held one cheek with his warmed hand and caressed it, guiding Keanu to meet his lips to his. They shared one simple kiss. “I love you very much.” Keanu went forward to hug him again with his muzzle nuzzling on Hunter’s furry neck, remembering that he was his boyfriend who would always be by his side. He learned it the hard way. It was stupid of him for distancing himself from him because he found out about his dark past. Keanu stood back and said, “I’m sorry if I was hard on you.” Hunter rubbed the back of Keanu’s head and smiled. “It’s alright, I know it must be hard about everything you went through.” “Yeah, it was awful…” “I don’t mean to pry you, but your father wants you to talk about it, so you could let it go. You’ll feel better if you talk about it, trust me, and, I know it’s hard, but you’ll see a big change afterward.” Keanu looked down with ears lowered, looking away from Hunter as he thought deeply. Hunter also thought to find a way to make it more comfortable than sitting like this in bed. “Hey, let’s make this comfortable, okay?” Hunter took off his shoes and moved onto the bed and picked up a pillow to place it between his legs. Keanu watched what he was doing, he had no words but understood his intention. Hunter laid in the bed with his back against the bedhead, the pillow standing vertical on Hunter’s lower torso, and patted his hand on the soft cushion. “Come.” Keanu sat there for a moment and looked at the door which was opened. He stood up and closed it gently without locking it and walked back to Hunter. He crawled on the bed and sat where Hunter pointed. He laid there with his back against the pillow between Hunter’s legs, he saw his arms wrapping around him gently on his stomach and felt the warmth emerging from him that helped him to feel at ease. He felt small as Hunter was kind of big, but it still amazed him as a wolf. “How does it feel?” “This feels nice,” Keanu said. “I’ll… I’ll let you take your time, okay? Ready when you are.” Keanu took some breaths as he looked across the room while Hunter patiently held him close with the emotional support he needed. The room was very quiet, Hunter knew this wasn’t going to be easy and had to wait to hear Keanu’s story. “Remember when I said that I went to Denver?” Keanu started. “Yeah, I remembered. How was it there?” “It was a great trip. I joined my uncles and cousins that spring break. We went for a football match that Uncle Derrick wanted to go to, he wanted to support his favorite team. We spend a week there, exploring the city and its attractions and…”