Similar Situations By : J. Hartman Ever woke up one day and said, “Damn, I remember when that song used to get little air play cause the adults thought it was a bad, evil song to play. And now look, its a classic song that teenagers are scoffing at as being boring and old.” Well, I had allot of those in my time. 55 and still kicking. I honestly never thought I would live this long. Most of my friends from my childhood had either moved on elsewhere, or passed away. I still wonder about those who moved elsewhere. Had they ever figured out what they feel was right in life? Had they figured out what life was all about? I don't know, but I always wondered if they figured it out. Cause I never did. To this day, I am still confused to what is right and what is wrong. But I still try to do the right thing. And who knows, maybe that's the ultimate thing that makes us more human than animal. The ability to decide what should and should not be without using instinct to instruct us. Though, I must admit, there's been more times when I felt I should just do what my gut says. Just when I thought I knew the world, the world tosses me a new situation where I'll have to embrace a new look onto life. “So how's our little girl doing, Billy,” Nikki asks me over the phone. Her tone is obviously a little miffed. I know she loves our only cub so much. Despite how much our girl had gone through, she grew up to be very strong willed, walking on a good path. Well, at least as far as I am concerned, a path away from causing trouble. Though I wish it did not attract so much trouble. Either way, Nikki pains me as she continues to play this stupid game of avoiding her. Why can't she just swallow her stupid pride? I sighed as I answer, “She is doing fine babe. But you should call her if your really worried about her...” “I refuse to talk to some one who willingly fucks anything that moves,” she growls over the phone. I just chuckled as I smirked, talking into the receiver, “Well, as we are allowed talk. After all, we are just raccoons. Eat, sleep, fuck, eat, sleep, fuck......oh, did I mention....” Nikki growls over the phone, obviously not amused as I continue my cheerful demeanor...trying to lighten the atmosphere over the phone. “Nikki, before and after our marriage, we had some of our wild moments. There's nothing on our part to put us in a better light compared to her. She's.....,” I said while I smiled, hoped it helps with carrying a nice tone over the phone line. Unfortunately, Nikki cuts me off, “Damn it, stop changing the subject, asshole.” I sighed, “Look, she's not fucking anything and everything that moves. And as I got to know her mate and watch the two. She is totally enamored with the man. If you think she's got him just so she can use him to satisfy her curiosity of a man's dick......” “I am very damn sure of it,” Nikki growls over the phone. I just sigh, “Nikki, I have no idea how to explain this to you, or how to make this clear to you that they are not harming anyone, let alone themselves. But there's nothing there to worry about.” “But its totally sick and wrong,” Nikki sighs, finally breaking off the tough female bit. I smiled a little as I talk over the phone line, “Hey babe, the only thing wrong with it is societies view of it. Besides, we got a few human genes in us. We may not be fully human, but it's what we and other species of morphs share.” Nikki then sighs, “Okay, ignore society, and ignore the fact that our forefathers and mothers where born in some make shift lab. Our sexual organs still match our four legged cousins. If society was fine with it, we still can't 'breed' with other species.” I lower my ears as its a fact that even I can't ignore. I know Nikki been wanting to see our cub have cubs of her own some day. But we both know that won't be happening any time soon. I just sighed over the receiver as Nikki sighed also, then speaks, “You know Bobby will get mad if I tried to talk to her.” I tried not to growl as I am still angry at how her sister Bobby had been acting lately about all this. I mean, Nikki is mad with our cub, but she don't hate her. But she's letting her sister affect her thoughts. Bobby on the other hand had always been the bossy female who's way too head strong about her views. She can be your best friend when your on the same page with her. But if you get off course, you better get back on her course before she abandon you. She even got her clan of relatives hating her own son now. It just disturbs me. “Stop listening to her Nikki. Just because she says a few things here and there and is the only one in the house hold who is willing to keep things in order, does not mean she's always right,” I said flatly. Nikki goes quiet a little, then says, “Please, just keep me posted. I need to go before she realizes you called.” I then growled, “What, now I am banished too?” “You called him son once,” she said defensively. “So what? He is family as far as I am concerned.....gah,” I just got fed up arguing about this. I growled over the phone, “Listen Nikki, we are not young anymore. We can croak between now and the age of 80. I know your bones are getting weak, and I am turning gray. Don't live the last part of our lives holding stupid grudges and petty wars over stupid things. Shandra misses you. She knows you may not understand, but at least get over it and come and visit her. She misses her Mother.” Nikki then sighs, “Bill.” “Yes,” I asked over the phone as she sounds like she finally admit to losing. She then sighs, “Remember the time we first me?” I really don't know what this has to do with our daughter, but I answered, “Yes, I remembered.” “Remember how your Mother thought I was not worthy to be around you, cause I got gray fur,” she asks. I honestly forgotten that part. I just remember the parts where I was 15, working at a grocery store. Since most morphs at the time was not forced into schools like the humans did till later on. I was working to help bring in much needed food for my Mother's home. There where 5 of us to feed, and I was the oldest. She worked as a maid to a wealthy family, but it was not enough to feed five young cubs. But I remember when Nikki and I first met. She was such a tomboy then. Young, 14, her first heat, and apparently she knew what was happening within her body and wanted me to help calm her nerves. Which I gladly complied. But I mainly remembered the good stuff after all these years. I did my best to block out the bad moments in my younger days. One of them was how Mother really hated her. She really hated allot of things, very petty. I mean, no son of hers was going to hang out with anyone who's gray. No, no, pure brown furred raccoon all the way. I start to tear up as I then remember how Mother would chase her out of our home whenever she sneaked in to visit. Nikki obviously did not mind and kept coming back. But Mother was violent towards her. As close as violent and evil as Jason's Dad is towards Shandra. So the vicious cycle continues. “Yes, now that you mention it, I remember now,” I answered quietly, wondering where she's going with this. “William, am I.....am I,” she struggles to get herself to ask something that apparently bothering her up inside. “Have I been just as bad?” I was taken back with the question. I quickly answered, “No, no, your nothing like Mother, nor like Jason's Dad.” I then yell out shit as I meant to never tell her about Shandra's bad moments with Jason's father. I wanted that to come out once she opened up to Jason and get to him....that, and leave it for the two to tell her themselves if they chose to. Nikki goes quiet over the phone for a long while. So long that I was worried she hanged up. I asked if she was on the other line, she said yes. She then sighs as she sounds sad, “I was hoping our girl would not go through what I did. Heh, all for the attentions of a charming male.” I blushed a little as I know she meant about us. I chirred on the phone a little, “Heh, everything was worth it babe.....” “All but the marriage part,” she comments, then softens her tone, “I still find it odd that it failed. You and me get along so well living separately.” I chuckled as she goes back on subject, “So the mate's father tried to chase her away with no luck?” Nikki then chuckles as she apparently finds it amusing. But I am sure she finds it amusing as in, “Like mother, like daughter.” I sighed over the phone though as I answered, “He beaten her very badly the first time. And the second time he tried to kill her and the cub while Jason was at work.” “WHAT,” Nikki yelled over the phone. Great, I was afraid of this. “Fuck this, you got space at your place? I am coming over to kick that guys ass. Nobody harms my cub and walks away. Why the hell didn't she fight back?” I then smirked as I get an idea, “You can find out by asking her yourself. I got space for you to crash in when you come to visit.” Nikki goes quiet a little, then sighs, “Okay, I'll........meet the boy........and promise not to chase him.” I chuckled as she then says, “But mark my word, if he ever harms her, I'll kick his ass so hard....” “I already threaten him babe, no need to threaten him again.” Nikki then sighs as she then remembers something that I had not thought about for a long time either, “That jerk better not try to chase them out of town.” “Eh,” I asked. She then asks, “Remember we got chased out of Indy (Indianapolis) by allot of people?” I thought about it, all of it was coming back quickly as she gets impatient with my pause and answers it for me, “Your Mother got allot of the older brownies to chase us out. While this was going on, my Mother got allot of the grays together to fight your Mother's little gang.” I sighed, “Yeah, amazing how the two of us started a huge color war between our species in that city. Hell, by the time Mom was getting that gang together, she was more focused on going after grays than separating us. Hell, out of the whole mess, I am surprised your Mother was fine with me.” Nikki chuckled, “Oh, she figured you where just a one time fling. I didn't tell her the child in me at the time was yours.....you where the first and only one I slept with during that whole fiasco.” My ears gone flat as I nodded, obviously she can't see me over the phone line, so I quickly said, “Yeah, yeah. Too bad the KKK got to you.” She made a chitter like yip noise as she obviously still recall that moment. She sounds like she wanted to cry, “How can two insignificant morons such as ourselves can cause that much chaos? What's worse is, we where not specifically targeted. Just wrong place at the wrong time.” I sighed, “Actually, they knew your Mother was leader to her gang, so your home was picked on purpose. Of course, your Mom was not home, and no one was expecting the KKK to get involved.” She was starting to cry over the phone, “I never been so beaten so badly in my life. And I was 5 months pregnant. I am sure my miscarriage was caused by those beatings. And they did not want anything, just wanted to beat the living shit out of me. Never asked about Mom, or who was in charge. No money, nothing. Just wanted to harm me.” I sighed as I fought with myself to stop tearing up, “Yeah, that was horrible. But maybe I should have never killed one of them.” “But you had to, if you did not, I probably would have died,” she said in my defense. I sighed as the memories flood back and I remember how angry I was finding the group of men covered with white bed sheets beating Nikki up, breaking her bones and making her bleed and shrill in agony. Since the whole mess started, I got myself a gun. A small pistol, something I can hide on me decently yet pack a decent punch. It was not meant to be used to turn a person into swiss cheese, but it was just enough to harm some one to leave you alone. Unfortunately, I did not realize at the time that no matter how much you try to use a gun to subdue some one......its a stupid idealistic thought. I learned that the hard way. “I should have not though. I was just trying to find a way to stop them and some how tie them up. I did not want to kill any of them,” I said with a shaky voice. Nikki sighs over the phone, “I used to be mad at you for a long time on how you felt horrid for what you did.” “You still are mad, right?” She chuckles a little, “No, I understood years later. Just it was when we where near the end of our marriage, where we both would not talk to each other directly. And after the divorce and we talked again, this subject never came back up. So I decided to let it go.” I chuckled a little as she continues to talk over the phone, “I understand later on that you have a huge respect for life and only wanted what was right for those men. And to be honest, later on, I felt the same. But at the time, these men ganged up on me, pinned me down, beaten me. Pretty much was going to kill me in the worst way possible. All I wanted to do was kill them myself. To this day, I still have some of these feelings to kill the others, if I ever meet them again. Though its not so strong anymore. I mainly want to ask them 'why'? And ask them how they can sleep at night.” I felt my heart sink as I wish she told me this sooner. This was one of the huge topics that we used to argue about allot. I understood where she was coming from. But she never understood where I was till later on....but never told me till now. “Because of me accidently killing one of them, we had to leave town,” I said in a sad tone. “Yeah, but if we stayed, they would have come back with reinforcements,” she said over the phone. I sighed, “True, but then again, if I did not shoot the other one in the leg...like I meant to do with the first one I shot in the stomach, they would have tried to gang up on me.” Nikki sighed, “Yeah, your not the best gunner in the world, but at least you hit your targets some where.” I chuckled a little, “I am shocked no one knew who did it.” “Well, it also helps that we ran out before the cops finally showed up with the media. And if you did not chase the others out and force them to leave their fallen comrade behind within the chaos, no one would have known that it was the Sheriff,” she comments. She then chuckles a little as she sings off key, “I shot the Sheriff.” I then smirk, “But I did not shoot the deputy.” Nikki then laughs, “But you did. Oh, we may have ran out for our lives. But it sure blown the city police department out of their protective bubble. Thanks to the media.” I chuckled, “Yeah, while they tried to find the ones responsible, none of our own over there wanted to mention it was us. Hell, I doubt anyone knew. The others where still fighting amongst themselves. A three way battle of colors, and the white human supremacist.” Nikki then says flatly, “Yeah, it ended with the KKK skinning your Mother and using her pelt to scare the others to surrender.” I sighed as she then adds, “Which ended up getting the party involved in jail anyways. Only to get murdered a couple days later by the morph inmates.” I sighed as we finished the phone conversation, glad it was over. Despite finally talking Nikki to fly over here from Indy to visit our daughter and meet her mate. I am now depressed cause all these memories I worked so hard to forget are now haunting my mind. I really did not truly forget them. They popped up quickly here and there in my nightmares. Funny how something so small can be the tiny spark to cause something huge. I really don't want to see something like this happen again.