The Salesman Always Rings Twice -- Part 2 A Lady Liberty/Super Collie fanfic. Lady Liberty, Brown Lotus and their universe is the intellectual property of TRAIN. Super Collie, John Palmer, Constable Kremmin, Squid Vicious and their universe is the intellectual property of Mayfurr (Terry Knight and John Plunkett). Prairie Mason (Multi-Mutt), Prairie Rose Mason (Giant Girl) and Ji-Lin Hue (Crimson Cur) are the intellectual property of Computer Dinosaur. This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only and not meant to infringe upon and known copyrights. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In a modest house in a quiet neighborhood in Wellington, New Zealand, three friends share tea in the living room. It was the home of John and Esmerelda Palmer. "Esmerelda, we found out something important about those figurines." Constable Kremmin said as he enjoyed a cup of tea. "Had to come and tell you in furson." "At least visiting our home at night beats getting scared out of me wits in the park." Esmerelda said as she sipped her tea. "What's this about being frighetened at the park?" John asked. "Just a private joke, my love," Esmerelda said with a grin as she reached for her cup. "Look Constable, I care more about that filthy magazine you found with me in it than a bunch of lousy plastic toys that...." "Not plastic toys, Esmerelda," the Constable said sternly,"the lab boys analyzed the two figurines very carefully. At first, they seemed ordinary until we put them under our electron microscope. That's when we discovered traces of uranium radiation." "Radiation?" John shouted, nearly dropping his cup,"you mean, those toys are nuclear?" "Not in themselves, John. The amount of uranium mixed in the figurines was so small that a regular Geiger Counter wouldn't detect it. But if there were thousands of these, they could be assembled to ..." "To make a nuke?" "Perhaps, or at least a dirty bomb, one capable of spreading lethal radiation over a wide area." "OH MY GOD! The explosion at the warehouse!" Esmerelda shouted, "You and I could be contaminated, Constable!" "Not to worry, we found very little traces of radiation in the rubble of the warehouse. We believe that the last shipment of figurines were already shipped out before the fire." "To America?" "Yes, John, to Colmaton California, to be more specific. A company there called S.S. Promotions received them yesterday, according to the files we found in the strongbox." "Did you contact the proper authorities in America about this?" "I called The F.B.I. and the furson I chatted with on the phone took down the information, but I could tell by the sound of his voice he didn't believe me. After all, American customs agents probably inspected the crates of figurines and let them pass, since the radiation in each figurine was shielded by the thick plastic composition. You know those stubborn Yanks, never willing to admit to makin' mistakes!" "That's for sure!" John said with a chuckle. "We also found out something that will interest you, Esmerelda. The company that distributed those naughty Super Collie magazines are an international subsidiary of S.S. Promotions of Colmaton..." "THOSE BASTARDS!" an enraged Esmerelda screamed as she broke her cup in her hand. "HEY ESSIE! THAT CUP WAS PART OF A MATCHING SET!" "Oh my, sorry John," Esmerelda said in a calmer voice as she began picking up pieces from the floor. "We need Super Collie to travel to Colmaton to investigate this...." "You're damn right Super Collie is going there, to kick some Yankee's arse!" Esmerelda yelled. "I have an art exhibition in Christchurch I have to leave for tommorrow anyway, Essie, so don't worry about me." John said as he helped to clean up the mess on the floor. "I already contacted your boss at work, Esmerelda, told'm you had extented jury duty on an important trial and.." "What about transportation, Constable?" I don't want to 'ave to ride like a common passenger on a jet! All those gents getting their blinkin' eyes full of me!" "Already taken care of, Esmerelda. The mayor of Colmaton is sending his own private jet to Wellington to pick you up." "Does he know about the radiation and the figurines?" "All I told him was Super Collie was coming on a vital mission. Don't wanna get the Yanks all panicky yet. Get packed, your flight will arrive by five in the morning..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Would the lady care to order now?" a male fox waiter asked as he stood over a table at the Brimstone restraunt where Gloria Summers was seated. "No thank you, I'll wait for the rest of my party to arrive first." "As you wish, madame!" the waiter said as he walked towards another table. "What can be keeping them?" Gloria thought to herself as she examined her watch, "Six o'clock! I'm here on time, where the hell is everyone else?" Soon, Gloria observed a rather lanky furson dressed in a loud Hawaiian shirt and white shorts. As he came closer, she saw he was an elderly looking weasel wearing glasses and carrying a briefcase. "GLORIA!" he shouted from across the room as he rushed over and took a seat at her table. "Eht Namselas is my name, making you richer is my game! May I kiss your hand, madame?" "Er... not right now, sir, I was expecting some others to join us tonight and..." As Gloria was speaking, she saw Prairie and Rose Mason entering the restraunt. Prairie dressed in a tuxedo and his wife in a very elegant long white evening gown. "OVER HERE GUYS!" Gloria shouted to get their attention. "Miss Summers, I thought this was going to be a private meeting," Eht mumbled. "Mr. Namselas, may I introduce my attorney, Prairie Mason, and his wife Rose." At first, Eht looked very angry until his eyes gaze upon Rose. Though she was clearly a middle aged canine, she still looked very stunning in her evening gown. "A rose by any other name, would not smell as sweet," the enamored weasel shyly said as he reached out to kiss Rose's paw. "I hope you don't mind, Mr. Namselas, I thought it best since we are negoitating a contract to have my lawyer present..." "How can I object in the presense of such a golden beauty?" Eht shouted as he returned to his seat. "What am I, chopped liver?" Gloria said under her breath as the waiter returned. "Would you like to see our menu and wine list?" "You folks let me handle this," Eht said as he stood up,"bring us four of the finest porterhouse steaks you have, and a bottle of vintage champagne to wash it down with! When Eht Nameselas buys, everyone has a good time!" "As you wish, monseir. I will be back with your salads and champagne." Eth grins widely as he slipped the waiter a fifty dollar bill,"Keep this, I got more where that came from!" "My you are a generous tipper!" Rose said with a surprised look on her face. "Only the best for my pals! My latest magazine is already in it's third printing!" "So you are in publishing, Mr. Namselas?" Prairie asked. "Please folks, called me Eht, and yes, it is one of my many business enterprises both here and abroad!" "I was wondering, Eht, how did you get Lady Liberty to wear that new costume and to pose for the camera like that?" Prairie asked. "Actually, I didn't get her to pose at all! I purchased them from two enterprizing young fursons." "Young fursons?" Gloria shouted, then realized she had raised her voice and quickly settled down. "That's right, Miss Summers! They claimed to have recovered all those lovely images from discarded camera and computer equipment they found in a junkyard! Imagine that! A gold mine in cheesecake photography discovered by two geeky kids among a pile of old scrap metal!" "So that's where he got them from!" Gloria thought to herself. "I see, so you did contact Lady Liberty and get her permission to use them?" "Why should I, Mr. Mason? After all, every single shot was from salvaged property rightfully obtained by those two kids. Besides, as publicity hungry as Lady Liberty is, she probably would welcome the use of her photos in such tasteful fashion." Gloria's face turned blood red she was so angry. She abruptly left the table and dashed off to the powder room. "What the devil's the matter with her?" "She may be sick, I'll go and check on her. Please excuse me." Rose politely left the table and soon found Gloria in the powder room. Her eyes grew as big as saucers when she saw the busted mirrors, ripped out toilets and the many huge gaping holes in the wall. Gloria was in a corner, weeping. "What on earth happened in here?" Rose shouted. "Guess they don't keep their facilities up very well," Gloria muttered timidly. "What's wrong, Gloria? It's me, Rose, your friend. I've known you for years and I can tell something's bothering you..." "THAT BASTARD! HE PRINTED THOSE DEGRADING PICTURES OF LADY LIBERTY! I KNOW HER, AND SHE'D NEVER AGREE TO SUCH A THING!" "We know, Gloria. Didn't she tell you the real reason why my husband and I are here?" "She did, Rose, but I feel so bad for her, if you understand what I mean." "Of course I do, Gloria. Exploiting women as eye candy is deplorable. That's why my husband will do all he can to help Lady Liberty sue the pants off that jerk! Relax, Gloria, trust us, ok?" Gloria gave a timid nod and a smile. "Better get back out there, the boys will wonder where we are!" Rose said with a smile. "And I'll report these terrible restroom conditions to the manager.." Gloria added as she rolled her eyes. As the ladies returned to the table, the salads and champagne have already arrived. Eth had already poured glasses of champagne for the ladies as they returned to their seats. "I'm sorry, guys, I'm not feeling well," Gloria explained. "I understand, Miss Summers. I was married once, and my wife turned into a beast during that time of the month." Hearing this caused both Gloria and Rose to do a 'spit take' with their champagne and caused Prairie Mason to blush slightly. "Mr. Namselas.." "Please, Miss Summers, call me Eht.." "Mr. Namselas, I don't think I'll wait until our steaks arrive. You openly brag about the money you made publishing a magazine that degrades women! I don't think I can do business with someone like you!" "Aw now c'mon sweetie, you don't mean that!" "Yes I do! Exploiting a superhero..." "You mean, super bimbo!" "Are all women bimbos to you, Eht?" "Ones that wear capes and claim to be our heroes are!" "This meeting is over, at least for me it is!" As Gloria stood up and started to walk away from their table, Eht reached over and gently grabbed her tail. "C'mon Miss Summers, I can make your modeling agency famous!" "Let go of my tail or I'll break you in half!" Gloria said in a hushed tone but with the look of rage on her face. Eht was so scared, he instantly released her tail. As Gloria walked out of the restraunt, Eht turned to Rose and smiles. "Y'know, Rose, with your looks, I could make you famous..." Eth's conversation was cut short as he found himself suspended from the floor with Prairie Mason's hand lifting him up by the throat. "Gloria's not the only one who wants to break you in half right now. Lovely dinner, let's not do this again sometime..." Prairie released his hold on Eht, causing him to reel backwards and land on top of the table just as the waiter placed a sizzling steak platter on his chest. "Enjoy your dinner, CREEP!" Rose said as she threw her drink in Eht's face as the retriever couple exited the restraunt. As Eht laid on the table, he lifted his hand and saw a few of Gloria's loose tail hairs that had clung to it. An evil grin now appeared on his face. "At least this night wasn't a total loss....." Speeding out of the parking lot in a huff, Gloria's anger was still not quenched. "What a complete waste of time that was!" she said as she grinded the gears of her sports car,"I got absolutely nowhere with that idiot! I think Lady Liberty will pay his corporate offices a visit tommorrow night!" One hour later, in a hotel room of the Colmaton Hilton, Prairie and Rose Mason entered their suite. "Your intincts were right, dear," Rose said as she opened her suitcase,"there is something more going on than a simple case of copyright infringement." "QUite right, my love," Prairie said as he hung up two of his suits in the closet,"that Eht fellow seems very shady." "According to the research I did on him before we left, Eht Namselas has virtually no past. No social security file, no IRS tax records either." "Eht Nameselas must be an alias, but why would a mere two bit hustler like this need an alias?" "You're going to break into his office, aren't you?" "It's the only way I'll get answers. It's too late tonight for such an operation, I'll go tommorrow night and..." "What do you mean YOU'LL go? I'm coming with you, we're a team, remember?" "We were a team in the old days, but this is different, Rose. I'll need to make several copies of myself to get past security and keep any guards busy while I sneak into their file room." "Then I'll drive the getaway car! After all, something could go wrong and...." "And you're not going to take NO for an answer, are you?" "You know me too well, Mr. Mason." "Ok then. Looks like Multi-Mutt and Giant Girl have a mission tommorrow night..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "This is Carla Meadows, reporting live this early morning from the Colmaton International Airport with this breaking news story! Mayor Manx's private jet is about the arrive with a special passenger, New Zealand's greatest crime fighter, Super Collie! Behind me, you are seeing live coverage of the Manx jet coming towards us, and there's Mayor Manx himself coming this way. Mayor Manx! May we have a word with you?" "Make it quick, Carla, Super Collie is about to disembark!" Dressed in her favorite blue robe, Gloria Summers sat at her kitchen table with a cup of coffee in one hand, and a spoon for eating the grapefruit half on her plate in front of her. "Mornings are sure boring without Kelly here," she said outloud, lamenting about her housemate Kelly Goodwin, the tigress-cheetah who is secretly the Brown Lotus. "She's away on assignemnt for the F.B.I. while I'm left with a mystery to solve. Is that the Mayor on TV again? It's another election year, wonder what that idiot is doing now." As Gloria turned up the volume on her kitchen television, she caught Carla's impromptu interview with Mayor Manx. "Mr Mayor, why have you brought Super Collie here to Colmaton, all the way from New Zealand at your own expense?" "I was contacted by the Bureau for Superhero Relations when Super Collie requested to come here on a vital but classified mission. I was more than happy to bring her here on my own dime. Super Collie is a true superhero we can all be proud of! Officially registered with the United Nations, unlike some of the scantly clad vigilanties who claim to work for justice in this city." "Would you be refering to heroes like Lady Liberty?" "HA! Does a superhero pose nearly nude for a magazine? I'll bet she made a small fortune off of that deal!" "YOU DIRTY SON OF A BITCH!" Gloria shouted,"I AM A REAL SUPERHERO, YOU OVERSTUFFED BALL OF FUR!" "Mayor Manx, is it true that you...." "Interview's over, I've got to greet our special guest!" Furious, Gloria shut the television off. "I can't believe it!" Gloria grumbled,"I work my tail off saving this city from crime and natural disasters and what thanks do I get? The mayor calls me a bimbo, stares at illegal photos of me and then calls in a foreigner who wears less clothes than I do and she's given a hero's welcome on his own private jet! That golden furred little tramp better stay outta my way!" As the Mayor ran at full speed towards the tarmac, Super Collie emerged from the plane. She is dressed in her usual costume, gold, blue and white top, matching thong bikini bottom with a blue full length blue cape draped on her shoulders. She carried her Shepherd's staff in one hand as she made her way to the bottom of the stairway. "Super Collie!" the Mayor said in delight,"let me be the first to welcome you to Colmaton!" As the Mayor reached to shake her hand, she is immediately surrounded by a dozen suit and tie wearing fursons. One of them spoke to her. "Super Collie, my name is Dunston Howe from the American Department of Superhero Relations. we have a discreet hotel room for you to use during your stay and ..." "Spare me the 'here are the rules speech' Mr. Howe." Super Collie said tersely,"I've been to this country before. I want to get started on..." "We understand, Super Collie, and we'll gladly leave you to your work when your assigned liason arrives." "Oh yeah, my liason!" Super Collie's expression now changed to joy when she remembered her last assigned American liason, a young jet pack wearing anetlope male named Jato Impala. She remembered how handsome and polite he was, and for a moment, almost forgot she was now a married woman. "I sure hope I get someone like him," she said to herself. "Where is she?" Dunston grumbled as he looked at his watch,"she is two minutes late and..." Suddenly, a streak of red zoomed by the gathered crowd of agents, circled them several times in the blink of an eye until it stopped directly in front of Super Collie. This swift bundle of energy was a Bermese Mountain Dog, standing less than five foot tall and clad from head to toe in a red unitard. She looked to be no older than fifteen and was holding two large foam cups of coffee in her paws. Her real name was Ji-Lin Hue, a Vietnamese American born of an immigrant family. Her English was clear (though she usually talks very fast) with just the slight hint of an Oriental accent. "Good Morning Super Collie it is a pleasure to finally get to meet you they call me the Crimson Cur and I'm here to be your official liason while you are here in America and you look very stunning who does your hair did you have a nice trip and..." "I get it, I get it!" Super Collie interrupted the fast talking teenager. "Do you always talk so fast?" "Talk fast I don't talk fast I really try not to talk fast because when I do people say they cannnot understand me and that makes some of them angry and then they call me mean names like Motor Mouth or Chatterbox or ..." Super Collie quickly grabbed the Crimson Cur's snout to hold her mouth shut. "You're jokin' here, right gents?" "This was no joke, Super Collie," Dunston calmly reassured her,"Crimson Cur is a registered Superhero Apprentice and..." "An Apprentice? My liason's just a child!" Crimson Cur now zipped away from Super Collie and in an instant, stood behind her. "How dare you call me a child I'll have you know that I'm ninteen years old and passed every single written and physical Superhero test with perfect scores you've always been an inspiration to me Super Collie ever since I was a puppy and I've always dreamed of working a case with you and now here we are together at last and I so want to help you where do we begin?" "She talks so fast, it's givin' me a headache!" Super Collie said. "You'll get used to it, Super Collie. Crimson Cur has all your accomidation plans and she'll guide you to your hotel. Any questions?" "Is it too late for me to go back to New Zealand?" she sighed as she watched Crimson Cur zip inside of the private plane and within seconds emerge holding all six pieces of Super Collie's luggage. "What the bloody 'ell?" "Now that I have all your luggage allow me to escort you to the car we have waiting for you. I heard you can run fast in short sprints so follow me please!" Crimson Cur zipped away so fast, Super Collie's eyes could barely keep up with her. Still, she managed to dash quickly to the car where Crimson Cur was already sitting in the back seat. "Already packed your bags in the trunk so it's time to go now we have you a nice room at the Colmaton Hilton you'll love it there with all the nice rooms and..." "Just me rotten luck I get a chatterbox with no 'off' switch as a partner..." In an office building across town, someone else has just watched the television coverage of Super Collie's arrival. "Excellent! Super Bitch came here!" Eht Namselas laughed as he leaned back in his office chair. "Saves me the trouble of returning to Wellington to exact my vengence on her! Now, to set an elaborate trap for both Super Collie and Lady Liberty! They dared to have me arrested! My day of sweet revenge will soon be here!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Here is your room, Super Collie!" the ferret bellboy said after he unloaded all of her luggage unto the floor, holding his hand out for a tip. "Don't look at me, kid, does this suit look like it has any pockets?" Super Collie stated rather tersely. In a flash, Crimson Cur zipped over to the bellboy and placed a five dollar bill in his outstretched paw. "There you are, sir and thank you so much for bringing Super Collie's luggage up here because it's a big job and I'd have to make several trips and ... hey where are you going I had a lot more things to tell you and...." "Thanks for scaring off the bellhop, Crimson," Super Collie said sarcastically,"now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to freshen up, take a shower and then..." "Say no more, Miss Collie, I'll be back in two hours and then you can fill me in on the case I'm going to help you solve so bye for now!" Crimson Cur zipped out the door so fast the breeze she produces slammed the door behind her. "Thought that little bugger would NEVER leave!" Super Collie said as she walked over to her bed and fell backward into it. "Ah! Nice comfy bed! This suite's even got a small kitchenette and a sofa! This sure beats that cramped biscount-box of a room I had in Japan! Now to fully relax for a while!" Super Collie now lifted her Shepherd's staff over her head and shouted, "By the mystic power of the Shepherd, I am transformed!" Immediately the Shepherd's staff lit up with a blinding glow and in a burst of light, her costume changed into a blue blouse with a matching blue tube skirt while the staff transformed into a round, gold pendant attached to a long silver chain. Super Collie tucked the unremarkable-looking pendant - engraved with a shepherd's crook - inside her blouse where it rested lightly on her cleavage. While it seemed rather over the top to conceal a piece of jewelery in this way, this gold pendant concealed a secret - it was the source of Super Collie's powers and could only be removed from around her neck by her of her own free will. Now transformed back into Esmerelda Braithwaite-Palmer, she put on her glasses, put her long hair up in a bun and flopped onto the sofa, staring out her fourteenth story window. "Such a beautiful city, but I can't forget why I'm here... " After a quick shower and change of clothes, Esmerelda peeked out her hotel room door. After looking both ways to make certain no one saw her leaving, Esmerelda walked slowly down the hallway towards the elevator, looking forward to an incognito shopping expedition. The fact that she was really Super Collie always gave her a feeling of excitement on these occasions - the fact that only she knew who this foreign lady with the funny accent REALLY was out in public gave her an indescribable buzz. When the elevator doors opened, Esmerelda stepped in and stood beside a golden retriever couple. "You look like you're lost, young lady," Prairie Mason said. "First time in this wonderful city," Esmerelda said shyly. "I'm Prairie Mason and this was my wife Rose." "Pleased to meet you, I'm Esmerelda Palmer." "You're Australian, weren't you?" "No ma'am, I live in New Zealand, came here on holiday." "Colmaton has many great attractions. There's an underground shopping mall at few blocks away from this hotel." "Extraordinary!" Esmerelda said, wagging her tail with excitement. "Thanks for the tip!" "It's the least we could do for a tourist that came halfway around the globe to be here," Rose said with a grin. "We're heading there ourselves, we can show you the way." "That would be simply smashing, thank you!" "Doesn't she remind you of our oldest daughter, Rose?" "Yes, she does. Anita's holding down the fort while we're here." "What line of work are you in, if you don't mind me askin'?" "I'm a lawyer and my wife works in the office with me." "I'm married too, to a wonderful artist. I work for a softwwere firm back home in Wellington." "Wellington! That's the home of the famous superhero Super Collie!" Rose exclaims. "Have you ever met her, Esmerelda?" "Well, you could say that I have.." she said as she rolled her eyes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Everything is going according to plan, Mr. Namselas," said the foreman at the warehouse who walked over to greet the well dressed weasel. "The last crate of figurines have arrived from New Zealand and are ready for shipment." "Very good," Eht said with a wide grin on his face,"our buyer will be here tonight." As the foreman walked away, Eht walked toward the open garage door of the warehouse and watched the workers moving his crates further to the front. "That's right, you morons," Eht thought to himself,"if you only knew what those figurines were really for, and how my buyer was going to use them to make a working dirty bomb. What do I care who dies, as long as I get my payment and make those two lady do-gooders look ridicious in the process. That reminds me, I have some preparations to make. I have a feeling we're going to have some unexpected visitors tonight." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- to be continued.....