Okay here is the Next chapter. As always there is more that I feel can be done to it. But here it is. I hope to have the next chapter sooner as there are two other furs that need to be checked in on. I decided however to break things upon into their own chapters. As always please tell me what you think and if I was able to capture the moment that I wanted. When You Wish Upon a Star A Story by Madneko23 Chapter 21. Moe ran out of the house searching for the kitten. Looking left then right she didn’t see him anywhere on the street. Fuming, she wasn’t sure what to do. Making a decision she went left running down the street as fast as she could scanning for Jane. Reaching the end of the block she turned on her heels and started racing in the other direction. As she had exited the house the woman had been filled with anger that the boy had just run off. Although, the longer that she spent looking for the kitten the more she started to become fearful. The thought that something might have happened to Jane kept making her stomach lurch. Turning and searching another nearby street Moe just kept finding her thoughts turn to her own kitten. She hadn’t thought about the past in some time and wasn’t sure why things were coming to the surface now. With increasing urgency Moe just felt that needed to find Jane and he needed to be ok. Another harsh wind burrowed into her fur as she looked out at the dark night. Continuing down the street looking for any sign of Jane, Moe heard a voice calling to her. Looking to the source of the call Moe turned to see a female racoon who was waiving her down. “I take it you’re looking for your little one. A small white kitten?” Still out of breath Moe didn’t have the energy to explain just nodding. “I’m fairly positive I saw her dart to my son’s tree fort out back.” Thanking the woman and also apologizing, Moe made her way to the house’s back yard. Sure, enough sitting in between two trees was a small fort suspended about five feet off the ground. Despite her frantic search for Jane the feline felt somewhat frozen. Recalling the distraught look on his face Moe felt a deep pit in her stomach, only able to imagine the state that the kitten must still be in. Her instinct was to yell and shout at the boy for running off but as the flame of anger started to build it just seemed to be snuffed out by the image of Jane’s face moments before he bolted. Slowly poking her head into the tree fort, she saw the boy huddled in a ball clutching Leo. Even from the fort’s entrance she could easily make out how hard he was shivering. Trying to control her emotions Moe climbed up into the fort. “Is it possible that you might be able to explain to me what on earth you are thinking?” Jane stirred realizing that the older feline was there but didn’t speak. Instead, he just stayed silent clutching Leo. Moe felt sick seeing his face. Rather than the spark of determination and resilience that the kitten had possessed she saw not a look of fear but complete despair. Trying to coax a response from the boy she slowly moved forward again speaking. “If your plan is to move out of my house you get an “A” for tenacity but an “F” for your choice of alternative accommodations.” The kitten just stayed silent for a moment before turning his body showing Leo. “Leo got hurt when I was climbing up.” Seeing the plush which now had a large tear in its side, Moe felt her chest tighten. All her brash instincts seemed to fall away being replaced by the desire to comfort the kitten. “Well then getting Leo somewhere safe is all the more reason that we need to go home Buttercup”. The kitten still not stirring Moe Slowly moved to him, taking him into her arms. As she slowly made her way down from the tree fort Moe could feel that Jane wasn’t just shivering but was trembling so hard it made her arms shake. Moe gave the racoon a brief thanks as she started the walk back to her house. Doing her best to shield Jane from the wind she was unsure what to do. The kitten just kept trembling despite her attempts to assure him that everything was going to be okay. Making it to her front door Moe breathed a sigh of relief that the kitten was back safe. Although looking at Jane her stomach still tightened. The dress he was wearing was now completely stained with dirt and Leo looked to almost be completely split open with his stuffing bulging out. Worse than the state of his clothes was the look of complete desolation that the kitten had. Not sure what to do Moe set the kitten on the couch telling him to stay put while she got him a change of clothes. Still not responding Jane just slumped down seeming to look aimlessly at his lap. Walking down the hall to the boy’s room Moe was cursing to herself. She felt angry and wanted to shout at the kitten for running off like that. Yet thinking of the way Jane had been shaking she just started to feel vile. Moe had no delusions that she was some perfect guardian but she never felt she was abusive or might actually endanger a child. Yet the look of fear that Jane had just left her feeling sick. Grabbing a pair of pajamas, she headed back out to the living room trying to think what she was going to say to the kitten. This proved unnecessary though as Jane was completely passed out on the couch still clutching the damaged plush toy. Seeing that he was continuing to shiver in his sleep Moe carefully pulled the dress over his head and gently changed him into the pajamas. She then fetched a blanket which she wrapped around the small fur. The whole situation just left Moe feeling angry and sick, wanting to yell at the kitten for being so reckless. Frustrated, she went to the kitchen and fetched herself a drink. Taking a large gulp, she thought about the lecture that she was going to give Jane when he woke up. However, her thoughts just again turned to guilt. So many of the exchanges between the two seeming to burrow into her fur. Being both reminded of her own harsh words and the seemingly amazing nature of the boy. The result just left her feeling foul and angry at herself. Heading to the Livingroom with her drink she looked back to Jane her eyes falling to the damaged plush toy. It seeming to be symbol of her failure and the damage she had caused to the kitten. The feline couldn’t fight down the memories of her own kitten running up to her with a damaged toy. Once again downing her drink Moe just felt angry. An anger which she could feel turning to a sadness. Shaking her head, the feline looked to Jane feeling the same pang in her chest from before. An intense feeling as if she had made a huge mistake and needed to correct it. It occurring to Moe there was something she could do for Jane the woman stopped frozen. It felt clear to her that it was what needed to be done but the thought just made her eyes water. Pushing through her feelings the woman carefully pulled the plush from the boy’s arms. Setting Leo on the kitchen counter she poured herself another drink. For a moment Moe almost abandoned her plan, but thinking of the trebling kitten, she started to make her way up stairs. Standing outside the door to the small room at the end of the hall Moe froze. With a pit forming in her stomach, she wanted to turn back, but thinking about the small kitten the woman felt driven to try and do something to make things right. Having another sip of her drink Moe set the glass down on the small table in the hall. Taking a deep breath to get her nerve she pushed open the door and looked at the space that had once been used as a home office. Now the room just contained several stacks of boxes. The cat didn’t honestly know how long the room had been left in its current condition, acting almost like a crypt. It had taken all her strength to gather the items in an attempt to move on, but in truth she had done little more than work to lock things away. Approaching one of the piles, she could easily make out her own shaky writing. Reading the letters strewn in black sharpie she found a pile of possible boxes. Each of the boxes in the stack marked “Trish – Sarah”. Opening the first box she just found the remnants of a half-sewn Halloween costume and an assortment of small mementos. Taking extreme care to gently place the items back she started to search for the right container. Opening the next box Moe found what she had been looking for pulling out a large metal first aid kit. If not for the two large stickers, one a teddy bear and the other a plush fox, which were attached, one could easily mistake it for something containing actual medical supplies. Opening the tin, she found the assortment of thread as well as fresh stuffing and other items gently packed waiting for the next toy that was in need of mending. Making her way back to the hall her limbs felt numb and it was as if a sharp object was being dragged across her stomach. Retrieving her drink from the hall table she finished it in a single large swig. Moving back to the living room she found Jane still curled up on the couch wrapped in the thick blanket. Despite this Moe could easily make out that the kitten was still shivering. Touching her paw to his forehead the older cat confirmed that he was clearly on the way to developing a fever. Not sure what more she could do for the sleeping kitten, she made sure the blanket was snugly around the boy and turned her attention to the kitchen. Looking at the plush Lion she felt as if the toys eyes were casting their own judgmental stare. Almost staring the toy down, Moe set the metal container on down on the table before preparing herself a fresh drink. For the first time in longer than the cat could remember she had the thought that maybe she shouldn’t have the drink. Feeling as if she should be keeping a clear head for the task at hand and caring for Jane. However, looking at the first aid kit she felt flooded with memories, thinking about how Trish would sit at the very same table mending toys for Sarah. Her partner looking up from her work with her gentle but determined eyes. The cat not stopping until a particular toy had been completely mended to the point it appeared new. All the while Sarah standing at attention as a loved one was undergoing surgery. Taking a swig of the fresh drink Moe settled on the compromise of doing her best to pace herself. Although she knew she wanted nothing more than to keep drinking until the painful memories were subdued and she could drift back into the comfortable darkness she had grown to prefer. However, looking back to Leo, she was reminded of Jane and her current goal. Just as she had seen Trish do, Moe started by pulling all of the old stuffing from the toy. She was relieved to see that the damage to the toy was not a tear in the fabric, but just that several seams had come undone. With all the stuffing removed she took the small bottle of special soap from the first aid kit, giving Leo a gentle bath in the sink. Wringing out the fabric she then gently patted it dry before starting work on repairing the seams. Just as she was almost finished Moe gently refilled the toy with new stuffing. When she finished the feline felt extremely accomplished, the toy looking far better than when Jane had first arrived with it. Thinking of Trish, Moe then dug through the metal tin retrieving a roll of half inch cotton bandage. Giving the toy several purely cosmetic wraps around its stomach and arm she felt satisfied that both Jane and Leo could “heal” together. Leaving the toy on the kitchen table to finish drying she made her way back to Jane. Seeing him continue to shiver the woman just felt vile that she had let this happen. Taking a seat on the couch she adjusted the boy’s head so it was snugly on her lap. Feeling a bit better as she watched the kitten get settled Moe started to gently rub his fur. The thought she had let such a gentle and seemingly pure creature be damaged made feelings of self-hatred begin to bubble inside Moe. Cursing herself she did her best to focus on the fact that she was at least starting to make things up to the kitten. Looking down at the small white paws now clutching onto her she gently started to fall asleep herself. A mix of happy and painful memories beginning to swirl in her head. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Moe was jolted awake as she felt the kitten start to seize. No sooner than the woman had her eyes open she saw Jane lurch forward vomiting onto the blanket. Quickly she steadied the small fur, ensuring the mess landed on the quilt and not the floor or couch. Springing to her footpaw’s, Moe waited to see the kitten was finished, then wrapped the blanked up disposing of the mess in the hallway laundry hamper. Returning with a fresh blanket she examined Jane feeling that his forehead was now hot. The kitten seemed in a daze as he tried to find his bearings. Her priority being to get him settled again Moe gently took the blanket wrapping it around Jane. As the boy looked at her a wave of self-loathing again filled the woman. It wasn’t that the kitten was clearly sick but the deep look of fear on his face, that hurt Moe so much. It was hard to imagine that this was the same boy that just days ago was standing up to her and making his feelings and opinions known. As the kitten started a shaky and meek apology Moe cut him off. “Butercup just relax and try to settle. Okay? We can focus on trading apologies later.” The kitten seemed surprised by her statement’ Giving her a look almost as if he was worried it was all some sort of trick. Again, the boy’s apprehension felt like a dagger to Moe’s chest as she cursed herself. It feeling as if the kitten had lost a part of himself and she was to blame. Getting to her foot paws, Moe hastily went to the kitchen fetching Leo and a bottle of medicine. The older feline wasn’t even sure how to start the exchange all of her usual anger and annoyance being turned in on herself. “Ok. The good news is that I am happy to report that Leo is going to make a full recovery. The two of you both just need to take it easy for a couple of days” Holding out the toy the boy seemed overjoyed as he inspected the lion then pulled it into a tight hug. Jane seemed as if he was going to say something but just winced clearly in pain. Seeing this Moe gently placed a paw on his shoulder giving it a firm but gentle squeeze. “The bad news is that I do need you to have some of this. I promise though that it will help you feel better.” Jane just gave a somber nod as he let the older cat touch the small cup of purple liquid to his lips. Swallowing it his ears again shifted as his entire face scrunched up. Getting him resettled Moe gave his headfur a gentle rub. “Okay Buttercup, if you can try and get some rest you will feel worlds better when you wake up.” The kitten gave a gentle nod but suddenly tensed up as he saw Moe start to pull away. The woman immediately stopped as she felt the small paw tugging at her sleeve. Clearly about to speak Jane paused then looked away from the older cat. “Can you please stay with me?” The older cat said a soft “alright” before getting resettled on the couch pulling the boy so his head was once again resting on her lap. This time Moe didn’t sleep. Instead, she just watched Jane as he finally seemed to fall into a steady slumber. Seeing him curl up around his lion she once again just felt that he looked so fragile. How could she have been so crude and rough with such a delicate creature? Cursing herself that she had let something so special be damaged she felt a pit in her stomach coming back. Another harsh wave of anger and hatred bubbling up only to again crash down onto her as she felt ashamed of herself. The fire that seemed to burn so bright in the kitten now appeared to just be a glowing ember. More than anything else in the world Moe knew that she was going to do all that she could to help stoke that flame in the boy again. +++++++++++++++++ Jane slowly woke up, somehow feeling both hot and cold at the same time. Opening his eyes, he looked up to see Moe staring back at him as she gently dragged her paw through his fur. Going to speak all that came out was a gentle moan. The older cat gently shushed him going to the kitchen and returning with a glass of water and another small cup of medicine. “Don’t try and speak or exert yourself too much Buttercup. Just keep still alright.” As she again held out the cup of medicine Jane gave her a pondering look before mumbling “why”. Moe again gave the kitten’s shoulder a rub. “I know that its foul tasting but it’s going to help you feel worlds better.” The kitten seemed to be completely straining himself as he spoke. “No. Why are you suddenly being so nice to me like you actually care?” The statement made Moe’s stomach lurch thinking to herself. Of course, Jane felt that way after how she had been acting. The older cat wasn’t sure what to say feeling incredibly vulnerable. She started to make some sarcastic comment to hide her feelings but stopped herself. “We can talk later about how I deserve that. Right now, though we both need to focus on you getting better and working to break your fever.” Moe again held out the cup of medicine happy to see that Jane moved forward so she could help him drink it. Then doing the same with the cup of water before lifting him up into her arms and carrying him to the bathroom. Trying to be as gentle as possible with the kitten who was clearly still sore, Moe pulled down his pajama pants getting to work changing him. Despite her best efforts it was as if the more affectionate or gentle that she was the more apprehensive Jane seemed. Getting back to the couch she again nestled him in the blanket before fetching the remote. “Alright so I think its best if we just have a relaxing day in front of the tv. Let’s start with a movie. Are you in the mood for something in particular?” Jane again examined the care that had been given to Leo before he snuggled the toy. Then pausing he turned giving Moe a hesitant stare. “Am I dying or something?” Moe sighed actually feeling relief that the kitten’s composure was returning. “I certainly hope not. But how about we play it safe and let’s just take it easy until you are back on your feet.” Nodding Jane turned his attention to the tv then motioning that a particular title sounded good. The movie playing Moe stayed with the kitten only leaving his side to make a can of soup. Making sure that it was warm but not too hot she returned to him carefully working to feed the fur. As Jane hurriedly swallowed, Moe felt some relief that the kitten at least had an appetite. After the meal was finished the kitten shifted his attention to the television starting to lethargically watch as he nestled into the couch. Once Jane was again peacefully asleep the woman just got lost watching him. Noticing the way, he hugged Leo close but kept the toy’s paw firmly in his own she felt a wave of unease. Somehow the tender affection she was feeling for Jane turned to a deep sorrow and longing as she thought about Sarah and how her kitten had held all her toys the same way. Going to the kitchen she again turned to the now empty glass filling it half way then downing it all in one gulp. Filling the glass again she returned to the couch and looked at the slumbering kitten. It just seemed the closer she got to him the greater the pain of her loss felt. The old wounds being torn open and made completely fresh. Sighing she did everything she could to push through the harsh feeling. Continuing to remind herself that now she needed to help the boy no matter the toll it took on her. Drifting off to sleep herself she just tried to focus on Jane and her goal of ensuring he got back to his prior self. +++++++++++++++++ Moe awoke jolting forward as she turned to the kitten. Having worried he might be in trouble she was relieved to see him continuing to slumber with his toy. Getting up she tried to clear her mind working to freshen up the house. Ordering a pickup from a laundry service she gathered the dirtied blanket along with her usual clothes. Thinking about Jane she also went to his room gathering all of his worn clothing so that it would also be washed. After setting the items on the porch she returned to the living room. She didn’t feel that there was much she could do with the room but gathered several scented candles which she lit trying to at least improve the atmosphere. Returning to Jane she made sure he was still peacefully slumbering. The rest of the day went by with little turbulence. Jane awoke several times in which the two sat and watched the tv until he was again slumbering. This process continued until it was dark out and Moe felt confident that having given the kitten another dose of medicine he was going to sleep through the night. Trying to again get settled next to the kitten the older feline found herself fixated on him. Looking at his fur that would be pure white if not for the smudges of dirt. Getting lost gazing at his adorable pink nose and inner ears. After several long moments Moe realized that she was subconsciously tracing the scar on her cheek. Getting up to again freshen her drink it again occurred to her that with the kitten in such rough shape she shouldn’t be overdoing it. Again, struggling with her feelings Moe poured another drink but again made a promise to herself to go slow. Returning to the kitten’s side she had an impulse which she had not had for some time. Going to the credenza by the door she opened a drawer pulling out the framed photo that used to hang on the wall. Taking the picture frame back to the kitchen the woman felt lost in a swirl of emotions. Unsure which was worse, the way Jane reminded her so much of her own kitten or the growing pain that she had yet again let something so special be harmed. It wasn’t long before the woman broke her promise getting lost in a flood of old memories and fresh emotions. +++++++++++++++++ Jane woke up still feeling a pain in his head as well as discomfort in his throat. Trying to breath the kitten also found that his nose was completely stuffed up. Using a tremendous amount of effort, he leaned forward to find Moe slumped over on the couch next to him. Eyeing the usual empty glass Jane almost felt a strange relief after how strange Moe had been acting. Moving his legs, the kitten felt that he had messed in the night. Something that made him feel very foul. Feeling not only gross but disappointed in himself as if things were going in the wrong direction. Turning to the slumbering cat Jane wasn’t sure if he even could wake Moe up. The woman looking more than just asleep but completely passed out. Jane was suddenly distracted from the mess in his diaper as he noticed that Moe was holding a framed picture to her chest. Carefully moving towards the older feline, he tilted his head to examine the photo. Sitting together were two female cats and a young kitten. On the right was Moe in a trim jean jacket resting her head on the shoulder of the other cat. Jane quickly noticed that her signature scar was missing and her ear had yet to be damaged. The other cat had orange fur and was dressed in a very motherly seeming dress. The kitten that sat partially on each woman’s laps had solid white fur that matched Moe’s. Wearing a pink dress, the young girl had a huge smile on her face. All together the three looked like one pleasant family that didn’t have a care in the world. Jane was suddenly startled as Moe jolted awake trying to get her bearings. Seeming to wince herself she scooted upright on the couch. Her nose seeming to curl she turned to Jane looking him over. “How long have you been sitting in that?” Noticing that this time the older fur seemed to have genuine concern in her voice Jane slouched down. “I don’t know. I just woke up like this.” “I seem to recall a very adamant statement that you never woke up messy.” Seeing the kitten cringe Moe reached out giving his ear a friendly rub. “It’s okay buttercup. We can just chalk up this irregular event to you being sick.” Getting up the woman seemed to cringe herself looking at the glass on the floor. “And sorry little guy I should be doing better to make sure that you’re not stuck in that.” The way that Jane seemed to stare at her in disbelief, bewildered by the simple apology only worked to make Moe feel worse. Placing the photo face down on the coffee table the older cat gently scooped him up. “How about a nice hot bath to help see if we can make you feel a bit better.” Jane let out a timid okay, finding it strange that Moe was carrying him to the bathroom. Getting to the room she set him down starting to draw a bath before seeing to his dirty diaper. “Why did you apologize? It’s weird.” Moe shook her head beginning to gently wipe the kitten down. “Is it so strange that I feel bad having made you sit that?” The kitten was lost thinking for a moment before nodding his head. “Yeah, it’s super strange. You’re sure I’m not dying?” again pausing the kitten started to sit up. “Or is there something you need from me? Is there like a checkup or interview that you need me to lie at?” Gently pushing Jane onto his back Moe gave him an annoyed look. “No nothing like that. You would be surprised how little supervision I actually have as foster parent.” “I guess that is true they generally give you people carte blanche to be as horrible as possible.” Thinking to herself the cat felt a deep warmth that she had even a remote possession of the boy. What kind of kitten knew that phrase? Let alone could use it correctly. These thoughts then turned sour as Moe realized the kitten seemed to be speaking from his own fowl experience. Thinking back on the week it occurred to Moe that she hadn’t bothered to learn much about Jane. It also seeming odd that the young fur spoke so highly of his mother yet had such experience with the foster system. Placing Jane into the bath she again tried to give him a gentle and reassuring touch of the ear. “Let’s just say that you really scared me the other night Buttercup. Despite some big and rather trite talk on my part, I would be genuinely distraught if something happened to you. So, think of this as me just trying to correct some of those mistakes.” Sinking into the water Jane gave her an annoyed look. “It was more than just talk.” “Well then, I will just have more to make up for. Now come on, turn around for me. I know you will feel better once we get all this dirt out of your fur.” Jane gave no complaint as the older cat gently scrubbed him down and rinsed out his fur. Pulling him out of the bath in a towel, Moe then carefully dried him off then placed a fresh diaper on him. Picking him back up she took Jane to his room setting him down on the bed. “Okay arms up.” Still finding the woman’s behavior odd Jane complied finding it rather nice to have someone dress him as a fresh pair of pajamas were put on him. Moe then again took hold of him taking him to the couch and wrapping the blanket around him. “So, Buttercup I am super happy that you seem to be doing better but how about we just continue taking it easy.” As Jane was handed the game controller, he again gave no complaint, despite that he still felt Moe was acting weird. The older cat then left returning with another cup of medicine having Jane drink it. The morning was spent with Jane playing through more of the RPG stopping only when Moe brought him an early lunch to the couch. As the kitten ate, he noticed that the older cat seemed to be staring at her empty glass with a deep longing. Seeming to give into some internal battle Moe left to the kitchen returning with a full glass for herself and a sippy cup for Jane. By the time that Jane finished what he happily found to be chocolate milk, he was again feeling lethargic. Picking up on this Moe changed the tv over to some animated cartoon. As he started to drift off to sleep, he felt the woman pull him over so that he was resting on her lap. Something that Jane hadn’t realized he missed so much. Finding that despite being sick he felt incredibly pleasant. The rest of the afternoon and following day were much of the same. The two cats being settled on the couch with Moe gently nursing Jane back to health. As the woman awoke on the third day, she was pleased to find that Jane’s fever had broken. Seeing the kitten start to stir Moe got up from the couch returning with a pair of scissors. “Okay I am happy to report that you and Leo are making major strides in getting better. You both still need to take easy but we are definitely out of the woods. So much so that we can get this little guy back on his feet.” As Moe finished her statement, she took the scissors and carefully cut the bandages off of Leo. Jane again inspected the toy seeming to marvel at the care that Leo had been given. Despite an air of caution that seemed to cover the kitten, it was clear he couldn’t hide the joy he had at the game of pretend. “Thanks for helping Leo.” “Your welcome Buttercup. But how about you two promise me that you won’t have any more unsupervised adventures.” As the kitten gave a happy nod, Moe scooped him up taking him to the bathroom. As she started to draw a bath Jane noticed that the older cat seemed to be far more attentive to him. Starting by gently taking Leo and setting him on the counter. Telling the plush to keep on eye on things, before then taking time to gently undress Jane rather than just abruptly pulling off his clothes. Reaching into the bathrooms small cupboard Moe retrieved a fancy looking bottle of soap which she then added to the water. As bubbles quickly started to form the small space was filled with a pleasant aroma of vanilla. Again, Jane felt apprehensive that Moe had seemingly changed her demeanor. His fur standing up as if something bad must be coming. Gently patting his head Moe just smirked. “What? if you’re going to insist on sharing the couch with me you can at least smell nice.” Not waiting for the kitten to respond the older cat lifted him into the tub. Jane was searching for a retort to the comment, yet as soon as he was in the water, he felt himself relax getting lost in the sweet smell. Rather then pull him out as soon as she was done washing his fur Moe just sat with him gently stroking his fur. When Jane was finally scooped up into a towel the kitten just felt like jelly. Taking the kitten to his room Moe set him down. “Okay you pick out something comfy to wear and I will be right back to help you get dressed.” Watching the kitten nod his head as she left to fetch a clean diaper Moe felt a deep relief to see Jane so relaxed. However, as she made her way back down the hall, she heard a frantic cry. “Where are my clothes?” Returning to the room Moe found Jane franticly searching for the items Moe had sent to the cleaners. “Don’t worry Buttercup, I just felt it was time we both had some things washed. By then end of the week everything will be back nice and fresh.” Moe saw that the kitten seemed to anxiously shift his weight from one paw to another as he stared at the suitcase of remaining clothing. “But what am I supposed to wear until then?” “What do you mean, you still have half a suitcase of things you haven’t worn yet. I know that certain things might be your favorites but that’s all the more reason to make sure they get washed.” Jane just slouched down softly speaking clearly to himself and not the older cat. “But if I wear this stuff then people won’t think I’m a girl.” Moe immediately got on her knees in front of Jane putting her paw on his shoulder. “What?” “It’s nothing.” Seeing the way that Jane cringed Moe was again reminded of her conversation with the doctor. The older cat actually felt anxious, as if there was an intense need to do the correct thing and help the kitten. Swallowing her own discomfort at the prospect of an emotional moment Moe did her best to give the kitten a reassuring touch. “It must be something Buttercup. I know that I am the last person that you want to talk with.” Moving her paw to Jane’s ear she gave it a very gentle rub. “Yet maybe that’s good. At least you can talk with me then and it doesn’t really matter. I can be like your test person because you don’t really care what I think.” The kitten sighed clearly having a very large discourse going on in his head. Finally looking Moe in the eyes as he spoke, “Of course I care what you think.” “Come on Just tell me what is in that head of yours. I promise that if you really regret it, I will just drink more and not even remember it. It can’t be too hard to imagine that.” The comment seemed to work as Jane did form a smile before letting out an irritated sigh. “I like wearing my girl clothes more.” “Okay, I kind of already knew that you liked dresses Buttercup. What’s the big revelation that some things are clearly your favorites?” Jane seemed to choke on his words finally getting them out. “I like my girly stuff because it does feel more fun but I also like it because then people think that I’m a girl.” The kitten finally getting out his true emotion filled Moe with a strange satisfaction. A satisfaction that then did turn to hesitation as she wanted so badly not to mess up the exchange. “Like what about that makes you feel better.” The kitten started to speak incredibly fast as if a dam had finally broken and his thoughts were just pouring out. “It just feels different I guess or like its more comfortable. I wear girly stuff all the time at home with my mom and its nice, but being mistaken for a girl feels better and more than just fun.” Looking to Moe Jane continued to shift his wight between his footpaws before again beginning to speak almost as if a large weight was being lifted off of him. “A week before I came here, I was at my preschool and there was a new teacher. She divided us all up into groups of girls and boys and she mistook me for a girl. I wasn’t even wearing a dress or anything. At first, I was anxious that I should correct her or the girls would be upset I was in their group. But no one said anything and I liked getting to spend the day with girls doing the activities.” Jane was still anxiously shifting making it clear to Moe that despite being able to admit his feelings the kitten was lost as far as how he felt or what he was supposed to say next. Looking at the young fur the woman felt just as lost as he was, unsure what the correct response was. “Alright so you like it when people think that you’re a girl. Like more than just preferring certain clothes or enjoying certain activities, I guess. Maybe you can help me out and say a little more about that.” “That’s the problem I don’t know what to say or even what I mean. Like I just don’t get it. Shouldn’t I just know why it feels good or why I liked it?” Seeing his distress at the statement Moe suddenly felt that she could relate to the young fur. Recalling her own personal confusion as she had her first crush on a girl. Thinking about how lost she had felt Moe pulled him into a hug. “Sorry Buttercup but that’s not how it works. We don’t always just get to understand ourselves that easily.” Jane completely sank into the woman letting her hold him close. “What do you mean. Shouldn’t I just understand myself at least. It just seems like everyone else doesn’t even have to think about stuff. They just know. Why am I the only one that feels confused about even basic things?” “Oh, trust me kiddo you’re not alone. And true some people who are boring or stupid do seem to be just blissfully content. Yet I promise that your normal and this isn’t weird.” “I am?” As the kitten asked the question there was so much genuine worry in his voice. It just made Moe unsettled as all she wanted to do was help the kitten be content and happy. Thinking of something that she could do, she got to her foot paws and signaled Jane to follow her. “Come on. Unfortunately, we can’t magically figure all of this out with a short talk. But we can at least make sure that you feel good in your own fur while we work on it.” The kitten was unsure what Moe meant as he trailed behind her. The pair making it through the living room and then to the stairs. Jane was hesitant to continue but the older cat waived her paw signaling for him to follow. His apprehension continued to grow as they got to the room at the top of the stairs. Jane noticed that the woman paused taking a deep breath before she opened the door and crossed the threshold. As Moe started to dig in the closet Jane just reexamined the room again getting lost in the shades of pink and different objects scattered throughout it. He noticed for the first time that above the desk were several wooden letters that spelled out “Sarah”. As the older cat returned to his side holding a dress, she was clearly having some trouble with her own emotions but seemed to be fighting through them as she nudged Jane in front of a nearby mirror. “Okay, I know that bright colors can be fun, but trust me with that lovely coat of yours this is going to look great.” As Moe pulled off his pajamas and then pulled the dress over his head Jane looked at the garment. The dress wasn’t fancy or like the elegant gown Mary had gotten him. Rather it was just a simple dark blue with the bottom slightly ruffled. Despite its simple design the dress was stylish and Jane felt incredibly elegant in it. Feeling good as Moe seemed to be gently brushing his head fur getting it into an orderly fashion. The woman then moved back to the closet looking for something, finally returning with a large ribbon that she tied around the kitten’s waist. “There. You can at least feel right while we work on figuring out all that other stuff.” Moe then kneeled in front of him. “I know it feels like you have to know a reason for things Butercup, but maybe just focus on the happy feelings you have and the rest of it will fall into place.” Jane nodded then shyly looked to the older cat. “Do I look like a normal girl. Not just weird like I’m clearly a boy in a dress?” Moe looked at Jane as he turned back to the mirror apprehensively inspecting himself. Despite all the bravado and determination, the kitten had shown the past weeks it was clear he was hung up on his own self-worth. That buried deep inside him was still a lost and scared kitten who desperately wanted to feel loved. It made Moe sad to think what must have happened to Jane that he would be so strong but still be plagued by such a fear of rejection. It clear that within Jane was a very clear and certain desire of what he wanted but it was still battling a fear of being different. Crouching next to Jane Moe took hold of his shoulders so they were both looking into the mirror. “You look stunning. And not at all like a boy. Dressed like this no one will think they are looking at anything but a darling little girl.” Jane smiled at the comment but noticed that as the woman spoke, she seemed to have a very somber and almost sad look on her face. It clear that while Moe was looking him over, she was also somewhere else. Clearly lost as she thought about something else. Jane felt suddenly off that in comparison he felt so overjoyed in the moment. “Are sure that I can borrow this? I mean whose room is this.” Asking the question, he felt stupid, remembering the framed picture and seeing that so clearly the topic was painful for the older feline. This mixed with the fact Jane hadn’t forgotten the way Moe had acted when the kitten first stumbled upon the room. Moe seemed to be doing her best to compose herself as she gave a very forced smile. “This room belonged to my daughter Sarah.” Seeing the way that she seemed to subconsciously trace the scare on her face with a finger Jane easily realized that the two were connected. Knowing better then to ask where the girl was or what had happened. Getting to her foot paws Moe motioned for Jane to follow her back down stairs. “Now there are rules if you’re going to be wearing such a nice dress. So, no running around and jumping on the furniture. And I don’t want to see you sitting on the floor.” “Alright I won’t.” The kitten happily replied as they made their way back to the living room. Jane was a little surprised that rather than let him go to his chair Moe picked him up getting the kitten once again settled on her couch. He watched as she seemed to fall into her normal routine making a fresh drink. This time however she was again preparing something in sippy cup which she brought with her to the couch and handed to him. “So, we have had a couple of bumps in the road. But maybe we can kind of start over as we work to help figure out what you like and how you feel.” Finding that the sippy cup again contained chocolate milk Jane started to happily nurse on the spout. It occurring to Jane that the woman must have been taking the time to mix it herself. Pausing Jane looked to Moe. “You’re really willing to help me? I still don’t get why your suddenly being so nice to me.” Moe stretched out getting comfortable as she had a sip of her drink. “Well, what can I say Buttercup. That charming personality of yours finally won out.” Rolling his eyes, Jane nursed his sippy cup before he spoke. “Yeah right. As if anything about me could cause someone to change let alone someone like you.” Moe seemed to give the kitten a deep stare as it seemed she was about to speak but paused. Finally, just saying “Well you would be surprised Butercup.” Not making any comment in response, Jane was happy to just sip at his own drink. Moe then handed the fur the game controller motioning for him to play. Again, the kitten was happy to go with the flow not about to argue. As he started to play the game Moe kept giving him a reassuring smile but clearly the woman was lost in her own thoughts. Jane noticing that she again seemed to be subconsciously tracing the scare on her face. +++++++++++++++++ The kitten wasn’t sure who fell asleep first, him or the woman. Yet he gently awoke leaning against her while he snuggled Leo. As he started to shift, Moe began to stir as well. Letting out a large yawn she turned to Jane giving his headfur a gentle rub before getting to her foot paws. As Jane watched the woman enter the kitchen, she once again seemed to discover that she was out of vodka. This time however, Moe seemed to pause having a battle with herself before finally giving in and returning to the living room. “Alright, I think that you are well enough that we can make an excursion out to the store.” Excited to do something out of the house Jane got up off the couch going to fetch his shoes. Getting them on Jane turned to see that Moe had a pink jacket which she dressed him in. This time as they left the house Moe picked Jane up getting him settled in the wagon. As the older cat pulled him in the wagon Jane actually felt incredibly upbeat as he snuggled Leo close. “So, are we going to get more snacks?” “Yep, it’s time to restock on a bunch of stuff.” The kitten still wasn’t sure what had changed that Moe was being so nice. Something that left him a little on edge unsure what had happened. A foster parent being rude, snide or mean were all things he was used to, but the sudden change to being nice left him a little uneasy as if something bad was coming. This unease however didn’t stop the kitten from asking the question that had been on his mind since they left the house. “Can I pick something?” As he asked Jane sank down into wagon worried Moe’s friendly attitude would finally break. Moe however turned around giving him a smile. “Sure Buttercup.” Getting to the small corner store Moe momentarily parked the wagon next to the door before reaching out her paw to help to Jane out and to his foot paws. Jane again felt oddly at unease as the women crouched down in front of him gently adjusting his dress and jacket. Seeing that the kitten had an air of unease Moe again paused unsure what to do. Doubling down she softly stroked his head fur giving it a slight adjustment. “Come on Buttercup lets go get those snacks.” Opening the store’s door, she herded Jane in before starting to grab an assortment of Junk food. Jane noticed that this time rather than just grab a single chocolate milk the older cat grabbed an armful loading them into the wagon. Tugging on Moe’s overshirt Jane then pointed to several items that he wanted smiling as Moe grabbed them all without any hesitation. As the two approached the counter the same male rabbit gave the two a smile. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite two ladies. Your still being good for Moe right?” Jane again became shy as the rabbit looked down at him. Feeling a paw gently stroke his head fur the kitten felt his shyness leave. “Jane here has been perfectly good. In fact, she has been the best foster kid that I have ever had.” Not bothering to ask Moe if she wanted her usual the rabbit grabbed two bottles of vodka which he began to ring up along with the rest of the items. Leaving the store Moe couldn’t help but notice that Jane seemed gleeful at the fact he had been gendered as female by her. Recalling the boy’s apprehension about being viewed as weird or strange, her talk with the doctor came back to mind as she pondered the fur. It seemed clear that the kitten wasn’t playing some game or just enjoying certain things more. This made her more worried though as it occurred to her the struggle Jane was having as he tried to reconcile his feelings. Crouching down she gave the kitten’s ear a rub. “See what did I tell you. Nothing but a darling little girl.” Watching the kitten be filled with glee as he snuggled Leo to his chest Moe felt a warmth spread through her. Picking Jane up she got him situated in the wagon before loading the bags alongside him. “Can I have a chocolate milk?” Jane asked eyeing the bag filled with beverages. “Not yet Butercup. I actually thought we could make a short detour.” “A detour to what?” “Oh, you’ll see. But I promise that its better than flavored milk.” Pulling Leo close as the Moe began to pull the wagon Jane felt excited. He still didn’t understand why the older cat suddenly seemed to take such an interest in him. Seeming to actually care about him trying to make an effort. Yet watching her tail bob up and down the kitten felt a sense of safety. That Moe did actually care about him. Reaching the end of the block Moe stopped in front of a sign depicting an ice cream cone. “See much better then chocolate milk.” The older cat said as she helped the kitten out of the wagon. Entering into the Ice cream parlor Jane excitedly ran ahead of the woman turning back and urging her to hurry. Getting to the counter though he realized that he couldn’t see into the ice cream cabinets. This proved not to be a problem though as he felt Moe lift him up into her arms. “So do you know what you want to get?” Looking down at all the flavors Jane exclaimed an almost cry of “one Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough please.” The female fox behind the counter gave Jane and Moe a friendly smile as she opened the cabinet. “Wow an actual “please” aren’t you well mannered. No wonder a good girl like you is getting a treat.” Hearing the comment Jane’s ears dropped down as he turned away resting his head against Moe. Shifting the kitten in her arms Moe let out a happy laugh. “Well-mannered yes, if not also a bit shy.” Ordering a scoop of strawberry for herself Moe set down Jane at one of the tables before going to collect their ice cream. Taking a seat across from the kitten, the cat just felt warm. Seeing the same gleeful look come over Jane as he seemed to be playing the fox’s words over and over in his mind. “Are you going to get this excited every time you are called a girl.” Taking a triumphant spoon full of ice cream Jane gave Moe a confident stare. “Well, you’re the one who said I should just focus the happy feelings.” “I suppose I did buttercup.” Seeing Jane regain his prior confidence, Moe felt the same warmth overcome her. Watching the kitten, she felt completely lost. It was as if she could just happily watch him forever. Realizing that she had been tracing her scar, Moe felt her thoughts turn to Sarah. It was as if some barrier had been broken and now the two were inexplicably linked. The sight of Jane happy making her experience a rush of joy followed by the harsh despair she had worked so hard to bury. Feelings that she was tempted to run from. Yet the thought of the kitten being scared or even sad made her think of her own lost kitten. Thoughts that made Moe feel as if she would do anything to ensure Jane was alright. Being pulled from her feelings, Moe saw a middle-aged female rabbit enter the ice cream parlor trailed by her young daughter. She immediately recognized the pair finding the sudden urge to hide. That not being a possibility Moe started a silent prayer that she wasn’t recognized herself. This prayer seemingly went unanswered as the woman turned making a b-line to the table. “Monique. Oh my gosh it’s been ages.” Moe gritted her teeth doing her best to smile. This was the exact kind of situation that inspired her to stay home all of the time. “Hey Pat. How goes it?” “Oh, you know, it goes. Kelly here and I are just having a girl’s day. But how are you, Monique? It seems like you kind of just fell off the earth. All of us have been thinking about you.” The rabbit paused for a moment. “I know that’s it’s been some time now, but if you ever need anything know that I am here. As are Stacy and Barbra for that matter. Not a day goes by that we don’t think about or miss Trish.” As the rabbit spoke, she looked to Jane seeming to backtrack her statement and changing the subject. “And who might this darling be?” “I’m Jane.” “Oh, its lovely to meet you. What’s brought you together with Monique?” The happy question suddenly took Jane back to the first morning he spent with Mary and was eating cereal at Jean’s house. This time Jane knew exactly what the answer was but was having trouble forming the words. Feeling suddenly reminded of the fact he was separated from his mom. “Oh, Jane here is just staying with me for a bit while a couple of things get worked out.” “That’s great. It must be so nice to have a little one in that big house of yours again.” “I must admit that she has livened the place up.” Much to Moe’s relief the young rabbit seemed to impatiently tug on her mother’s sleeve. Taking the hint Pat said a short goodbye as she was led to the counter. Thankful that the pair weren’t staying to eat in the ice cream parlor Moe turned her attention back to Jane. The kitten had a very sad look on his face as he worked to finish his ice cream. Grabbing a napkin, she gently wiped the boy’s mouth. “You alright?” The kitten gave a somber nod which prompted Moe to give his ear a rub. “Thanks for calling me a girl again.” “Well, you seem to be having such a gleeful time it’s not like I was going to ruin things.” Seeing some sense of joy return to Jane, the cat felt her chest get the same happy pang. Seeing the inquisitive expression on the kitten’s face Moe sighed. “Okay don’t go giving me that look. I know for a fact your smart of enough to have picked up on a couple of things from that lovely exchange.” Jane was unsure what to say. On the one hand he did have questions about several things. Yet none were so burning that the kitten was about to risk ruining the older cats sudden change in mood. “I’m just surprised that you actually have friends.” Moe smiled taking the remaining bite of her own ice cream. “Well actually Pat was my wife’s friend not mine. I would call us acquaintances at best.” Having finished their ice cream, the two left back onto the street where Moe once again loaded Jane into the wagon. Getting back to the house Moe unloaded the groceries and prepared herself a fresh drink. Returning to the living room she found Jane lost in thought as he stood in the rooms center. Seeing the way his ears were scrunched against his head it wasn’t hard for the older feline to gather that the kitten was upset. Watching the young fur he seemed to be struggling with something before finally just slumping down on the floor. His shoulders tight and tilted forward it was as if he was just going to cave in on himself and disappear. “I thought that we discussed the rules and that you weren’t supposed to be sitting on the floor in that dress.” His ears coming to attention Jane let out a very meek “Sorry”. Moe crouched down in front of the kitten giving his head fur a gentle and slow rub. “What happened to get you all out of sorts again? I thought this afternoon was going great.” The kitten looked as if he was about to cry but taking a breath swallowed his tears leaving only his bottom lip that seemed to quiver. “My mom isn’t coming to get me is she.” As the kitten made the statement Moe felt her whole chest tighten. Jane wasn’t the first young fur to come to this conclusion. Yet Moe had never before wanted so badly to tell one of the children, that of course their mother was coming for them. Just seeing the small boy tremble put a deep pain into Moe’s chest. These feelings were only worsened by the fact Moe didn’t know what to say or do. For a moment she found herself getting angry at the boy’s mother. Questioning how the woman could ever have let something so special be taken and forced to feel this distress. However, these feelings again turned to a deep shame that she herself had allowed Jane to be hurt. Sitting down on the floor Moe pulled Jane into her lap so that she could rest her chin on his shoulder. She kept trying to speak but couldn’t find any words that felt right. Finally finding her nerve. “Hey there buttercup. What happened to all that vigor that you had when you got here? I thought that you were sure that your mom was on her way.” At the question Jane broke out into a complete sob. “Why isn’t she here though?” Moe felt a deep distress unsure what she should say. Not wanting to lie to the young fur yet also wanting so badly for him to relax. Finally breaking she found herself just beginning to speak. “I wish that Trish was here.” The kitten’s ears perked up as turned trying to look at the older feline. “Who is that?” Turning the kitten in her lap Moe gave him a very forced smile that was filled with sorrow. “Trish was my wife.” Starting to gently stroke the kitten’s head fur Moe was clearly now fighting down her own tears. “She would know exactly what to say and how to comfort you Buttercup. I’m sorry that your stuck here with me though.” “What was she like?” Moe seemed to squirm as her own emotional dam seemed to break. “She was perfect or more than perfect. No matter what was going on she would just flash her smile and I knew it would all work out. I would get completely out of sorts not sure what to do and suddenly I knew everything was going to be okay just looking at her.” “Like how?” Noticing that the kitten’s tears had slowed Moe continued to talk as she stroked his fur. Not sure if she was trying to sooth Jane or if her own emotional dam had finally broken. “She was always calm as if she never doubted that things would work out.” Moe paused becoming lost in her own happy memory. “On our third date I was really trying to amaze her so I planned a trip to a beach. But while we were swimming someone stole all of our stuff.” Jane’s tears having stopped the kitten was now eagerly listening to every word. “I think you can imagine how I reacted angry and yelling up a storm. In truth I was just scared having no clue what we were going to do or how we were going to get back to our campus. Trish just smiled though making some remark that things could be worse. That at least the weather was nice. I remember how she grabbed my paw just continuing to smile.” Seeing that somehow the kitten’s mood seemed to be improving, Moe readjusted him so that his back was again snuggly against her. “She was also a better mom then I ever was. Always knowing what to do or say. One time Sarah came home from a sleepover completely distraught. I could barely get her to explain what had happened yet Trish just had an air about her. In no time the two were just laughing together.” “She sounds nice.” “She really was. It’s funny really. Everyone always assumed that she was some timid housewife and I was the dominant one. The truth though is that she was actually my rock.” Moe seemed to trail off as she finished her remark, clearly lost in thought. Finally getting up with Jane in her arms, Moe made her way to the kitchen setting Jane down on the counter. Opening the fridge, she made both of them a drink. Her a fresh glass of vodka and Jane a sippy cup of chocolate milk. No longer crying but his nose still having a sniffle Jane started to sip on the sweet liquid. “Okay, the truth Buttercup is that I don’t know where your mom is or what the details of you being here are.” Moe paused trying to pick her words carefully. “But you know you haven’t had to say good bye and eventually you will get to see her. So, let’s just take things one day at a time. Alright?” As Moe said the words, she felt a trickle of apprehension run through her. Not that she might be lying to the kitten but that she was right. It was brief and only a fragment of a feeling. Yet the thought that Jane might leave her left her feeling sad. Shaking off the feeling Moe took a sip of her drink giving the kitten’s head fur a gentle rub. Leaning into her touch Jane nodded as he continued to sip on his milk. Pleased that she was beginning to get the kitten to calm down Moe took him to the couch, beginning to play something on the tv. Starting to move away she saw the kitten’s ears jolt up. Giving them a rub, she did her best to smile “Don’t worry I will be right back?” The kitten seemed to start a retort that he was fine but stopped, instead just nodding as he hugged Leo. Making her way up the stairs Moe again entered Sarah’s room going to the closet. Looking through the items she found what she was looking for, grabbing a pink pair of pajamas that were designed to almost appear as if they were princess dress. Looking at the garment the thought just spread across Moe’s mind. Thinking to herself that of course Sarah would feel better in her favorite nighttime outfit. Dropping the garment to the floor the woman jolted back. Feeling her chest swell she tried to shake off the feeling that it was a simple mistake. Yet she again felt the same looming dread swell over her that Jane might very well end up leaving. Taking a sharp breath in she tried to steady herself pushing down all of her feelings. Getting back to the living room Moe on instinct started to move towards her drink. Yet seeing Jane on the couch looking up at her she stopped instead going to the kitten’s side. “How about we get you into something comfy.” Seeing Jane light up at the sight of the pajamas Moe just felt a warmth that seemed to push her distress away. Getting him changed Jane did a twirl, smiling as the long top spread out around him. He then froze his ears dropping down as he looked to Moe expecting a remark of some sort. It not coming he looked away mumbling that he was just excited. The kitten then seemed to get his nerve, turning back to face the older cat. “I like this feeling and it’s fun to feel like a princess. I don’t care if I look like a weird boy in a dress or people say that I’m pansy.” Taking hold of him, Moe Moved to the couch this time sitting with Jane snuggling against her. “Where on earth did you learn that word?” Jane sunk down into the couch as he looked at his lap. For a moment he cringed before starting to scowl. “I learned it when other kids called me it.” The kitten was then silent as he gazed down at the pink pajamas he was wearing. Moe winced before she gently turned the kitten’s head so he was facing her. “Some furs are really stupid, but you have to promise me, that if it ever happens again, you will tell me.” Jane rolled his eyes sighing “I know that lots of people are stupid. And I know that if something is wrong or makes me feel bad its better to talk about it.” “Who said anything about talk. I thought I was clear that I’m not the person to talk about feelings with.” The older cat moved Jane so he was on her lap. “My buttercup is a princess and if someone besmirches her honor then they are about to get their ass kicked.” The entire statement just made Jane feel happy. The use of the pronoun “her” by Moe of all people seeming to dive into his stomach giving it butterflies. “You don’t think that I am weird.” Seeing the same look of self-doubt wash over the kitten Moe squeezed him tightly against her. “No, I don’t buttercup, and if other people do, then fuck them.”