[color=red][b][u]A Message from Levi the Mountee Lion[/u][/b][/color] ----------- [i]This was a recorded message from Levi Peterson, a.k.a. Levi the Mountee Lion, which was broadcast and posted on the G-52 YouTube channel. Super C approved the message before it was recorded, and had also issued Levi a fine for the way he handled this controversy. The fine was USD$2,500; as of this moment, that is $3,469.81 in Canadian dollars. The fine was later doubled as a result of Levi beating himself up verbally. Levi, however, was not able to speak this message without a few tears flowing from his eyes.[/i] ------------ [color=white][i]Hello, Canada. I hope that everybody is enjoying the Olympics, and I send my congratulations to all of our Olympians that have won any color medal, gold, silver, and bronze, fair and square. And yet, as these Games continue, I have sad news to share with you, and it has no doubt added to the temptations of concluding that I have become the absolute worst Prime Minister in the history of Canada. None of my predecessors would have done the things I did. It's clear that being so gung ho on morality, just as I had been in my Mountee days, has been my Achilles heel, and to confirm, the fact I am the most fined G-52 in history wasn't supposed to be public knowledge. However, the tabloid terrorists lied to you. Now I cannot say what the exact amount is, but I can say that the amount of fines they said I paid is more than I've ever made in a lifetime. As you have heard, I am sorry, our Canadian women's soccer team has been plagued by scandals. Our team's management decided to use a drone to spy on the team from New Zealand, in the hopes of gaining an advantage. Instead, they've been found out and busted, and they were brought before me as well as the other G-52s, including my French counterpart, Leonce Baudin (currently the President of France), and Leo Zanicchi (the current US President, and easily the greatest lion that ever lived). Both of them have done a better job of running their respective nations than I ever did (or so my mind has told me), because of what happened next. When the coaches were busted for using the drones, FIFA and its highest-paid referee, Leo Fitzgerald (whom you know as Bonecrusher, or Crush for short), delivered some more bad news. First of all, the team was going to be docked six points, ensuring they will never get out of group play; amazingly, they won their last game against Colombia. Then we learned that the Court of Sports Arbitration, or CSA for short, made the announcement that both our men's and women's teams have been banned from the 2026 World Cup, even though we will be hosting some of the games, while the United States and Mexico will host the other games. On top of that, both genders have been banned from the 2028 Olympic Games, and to add insult to injury, that will happen in Los Angeles, so we wouldn't have even had to travel far. As a result, this has put a stain on Canada's reputation in soccer and in sports as a whole. Don't forget that as soon as the Olympics come to an end for the humans, we'll do it all over again with athletes from the animal kingdom. However, the furry Canadian soccer teams, male and female, were so disgusted with this scandal, that they are voluntarily forfeiting all their games, and they likewise are voluntarily forfeiting their chance to play in the next furry version of the World Cup, which again, happens once the human tournament is done. The human tournaments tend to get all the media coverage and attention, historically. But then I made my big mistake, which my mind is telling me is an even bigger scandal than when I blew up at our Parliament, but again, you be the judge. What was the mistake, you ask? Well, if you recall, we had the agreement going where whichever nation between the U.S. and Canada won more gold medals in the Games got temporary control over the disputed territory that is Machias Seal Island. I got voice messages on the G-52 app suggesting that I should cede control to the U.S. until 2030, when the next Winter Olympic games happen. It would have been a fair trade as is, but my big mistake was letting my extremist habits go into play. As a result, I henceforth and forthwith declared to everybody that I was ceding Machias Seal Island to the United States, but not just for the six-year period. Instead, I turned to Leo and said, "It's yours forever." As of now, the paperwork has been signed, finalized, and notarized, making our neighbors to the south the sole permanent owners of Machias Seal Island. I just wish we had never disputed over the territory in the first place; it was as silly as two people arguing over one hamburger. Yet that was the decision I made. It was approved by the International Court of Justice, or ICJ, which had previously approved the 1979 split application of Machias Seal Island to have the maritime boundary delineated in the Gulf of Maine for fishing and mineral explanation purposes on Georges Bank. I can't remember where the tensions began to rise up again, but the same court did give the approval to give full sovereignty to whoever did better in terms of gold medals at the Olympic Games. If there was a tie, we'd go to the silver, then the bronze, and then the grand totals. But now, 45 years since that beginning, it's all over. Machias Seal Island now, and forevermore, belongs to the United States of America, all because I had to open my big mouth. Even the United Nations instantly approved it. I know this comes a shock to all of you, and I know that many of you are furious with me over this. I have proven one thing if nothing else; I do the worst job at controlling one's emotions. I should have my head examined. But even if this had not happened, I still would be making the announcement to you all that I am not...I repeat, not...running for re-election again, even if you want me to do so. My time as Prime Minister is up. I won the emergency election against Courtney by just 106 votes; I look back and it and admit to wishing I had lost by those 106 votes or more instead. Courtney has served us all well as Minister of Health, and no doubt that if this pattern of the animal kingdom acting as world leaders continues instead of having the humans take it back, Courtney would be the ideal successor to replace me. (Of course, that's her decision whether or not to run for the office.) Twice now, in five years, scandals have happen, and both times, I handled it the wrong way. The difference is that I didn't lose my temper at the coaches as I did with Parliament, but I was still very cross with them. Pray for me, would you, please? I need a vacation from this vacation! In the meantime, please enjoy the rest of the Games, and please don't protest against this, or you'll motivate IC2 to kill you because it sees all protests as disturbance of the peace. And thank you again for your time today.[/i][/color] ------------- [color=gold][b]NOTE:[/b][/color] Although Super C did give Levi a demerit and $2,500 fine, he did not assign Levi time in the Greenlandic White House of Shame. Instead, the lion voluntarily left France and spent some time alone there to himself, periodically checking on how the rest of the Canadian athletes were doing in other sports. Otherwise, he sat alone in the house, prayed for forgiveness daily, read his Bible, and did a few other meditation exercises to clear his mind. The Canadian men's soccer team in the furry division of the Olympic Games also announced they were voluntarily boycotting the Olympic Games and next World Cup because of this, and expressed their wishes that the United States dominate both events, because "they are the ones that deserve it the most." ---------- [color=purple][b]NEWS UPDATE COMPLETE[/b][/color]