[color=green][b][u]Letters to Leo the Patriotic Lion: #28[/u][/b][/color]

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[i]Dear Mr. President:

Soccer star Neymar has been gaining worldwide attention, particularly when you consider the fact he has a net worth of $200 million when you translate it into U.S. dollars.  And yet everybody is so sick of his antics, especially when he starts diving (pretending to be injured so he can stall for time).  I don't understand what his problem is; do you?  He has everything he ever wanted, and probably more money than a ton of soccer players put together.  So why does he have to dive and do all these antics giving us the impression he acts like a spoiled brat?  I'll never wrap my head around it.

Personally, I couldn't care less about him.  I do go to a few soccer games, but they are all Major League Soccer games, and the players are overall way more civilized than people who take it so seriously, it's essentially a religion to these people.  However, Argentina's people redeemed themselves when their squad won the World Cup last year.  This year we have the women's version of that, and the U.S. does win from time to time.  But when will the men ever win?  My fear is that the answer is never.

What are your thoughts on Neymar?

Signed,

Joshua Yavitz, age 29 (human being)
San Diego, CA, USA[/i]

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Leo's reply:

[color=white][i]Dear Joshua:

Soccer isn't really my forte, because sports aren't really my forte, so I just focus on my job as POTUS and let Neymar make an idiot of himself.  Do I hate his antics?  Yes.  However, he plays for the French team Paris Saint-Germain (PSG), and believe it or not, my French counterpart (Leonce) put him in his place just a few days ago when he ranted (within reason), even asking why the act of faking an injury was called diving.  Then the lion decided to do a few martial arts moves, and then said, "See that?  Now THAT was a dive!"  No response from anybody.

In spite of that, we still respect the man because he does have the stats to prove it; historically, he is only Brazil's third player, after Pelé and Ronaldo, I have discovered, to score in three separate World Cups.  He also equalled the goal tally Pelé had set (77 international goals) during the last Cup; however Brazil lost to Croatia 4-2 in the penalty shootout following a 1-1 draw after extra time.  There were so many penalty shootouts in that tournament; it made it all the more exciting to watch.  (Pelé also congratulated Neymar when he score the 77th goal.)

Neymar has had his share of real injuries, but yes, I do wish he'd cut out the theatrics.  However, everybody else needs to stop complaining about him also; it's only encouraging him to act all the more.  I'm amazed he hasn't gone into the movies yet.  So, in short, I just let him be him, and I will be me.

Did that help?  If not, feel free to write back and let me know where I goofed.

Yours truly,

Leo Zanicchi, a.k.a. Leo the Patriotic Lion
President of the United States of America[/i][/color]