- Not-so Funny -
(or ‘How Lucy tried adding a hilarious twist to the usual routine, only to end up slightly disappointed by the results’)
Beta-reader: Ant0nius
“I didn’t know you like Ice Cream.”
Lucy tilted her head at my words, turning away from the cup filled with coconut ice cream.
It was morning, and I was going through the last checks before leaving for work. The Kiv was supposedly expected to follow me around during the whole day, and I found it fascinating how she was going to juggle stealth with eating that sweet treat.
“I don’t,” She blankly muttered. “It’s just that… I want booze.”
…
“Oh, you mean the very product you’ve managed to deplete in the span of a single night?” I questioned with a hint of sarcasm. “Like, I can buy a stack of beers, but that’s it for this week.”
The critter huffed, looking ready to spit some more poison at the lack of alcohol in the flat, but knowing better than me that it wouldn’t work well for either of us if she became an alcoholic leech.
Jumping onto my back as I turned to look through the bag, Lucy settled herself on my shoulder, placing more weight onto it as I completed the last few steps before leaving.
With the kitchen repaired just like the kiv had promised, I had no reason to worry about returning home to fix the nightmare that had been created by the murderous individual.
Humming quietly, I reached for my main door’s keys, unlocking the mechanism as I started to make my way out of the building.
“They are going to see you,” I warned, sparing not a single glance at the bored critter.
“I suppose I can try something… fun. But I’m not going to make any promises.”
I stopped, frowning as she jumped off of me and skipped towards the maintenance room.
A click, the place was sealed off temporarily, and I found myself forced to wait for her to do… something.
What is she trying to do?
I couldn’t help but worry to turn up late just because she wanted to ‘try something interesting’ or ‘fun’, or ‘new’.
Waiting some more, I eventually approached the door of the utility room, knocking just once as I heard a cough.
I paused, then I waited some more…
Another cough, then the noise of something falling down on the ground. A broom, or something that was made of wood.
Curiosity beat common sense. I slowly reached for the handle, turning it as I took a peek inside.
The place was cloaked in shadows, barely a beam of light came down from the small window on the opposite side of the door, shining an eerie illumination over the floor.
At first I failed to notice what had happened, but then ‘Lucy’ moved and my eyes couldn’t help but widen at the horrible display I was given.
Pale, fur-less skin. She was now a biped, a human, with long white hair reaching down just below her neck. Some red hints were present within her hair, tainting the pristine white and… then she turned, her face now looking more humane.
A devious smile, one that was mixed with a sadistic sense of humor and a cheeky undertone that only mischievous children were known for.
“What’s wrong? Did I perhaps catch you off-guard?”
She fully turned, and I turned away at the sudden development I really couldn’t describe as my cheeks started to burn a fiery flush.
“G-Goddammit, really!?”
She giggled again, knowing that this was just the reaction she wanted out of me. Lucy then slowly tried to stand up in her clothes-less form. She wobbled, trying to get hold of the different bone structure and body’s formation.
I didn’t look at her fully. I just couldn’t.
Why?
“It’s boring to keep up with you being a bore,” The ‘young woman’ commented. “Plus, I want to mess with people… within limitations.”
I groaned, facepalming at that annoying plan.
“Still, I can’t have you wander around without… goddammit, why didn’t you tell me you could do that?”
“Because you already knew?” The ‘former’ kiv rebuked sarcastically. “Also, is it just me or are things colder now-”
“Wait there for a moment,” I blankly interjected, closing the door as I rushed back into the flat and right for the bedroom.
The wardrobe was thankfully stacked with some old clothes. Surely there had to be something that I can use to… ‘help’ Lucy.
I wasn’t exactly planning to have her wander around like that. I loved my life as it was, without more reasons to worry about being put to jail for being an accessory to public exposure.
Salvaging a gray jacket, a white shirt, a pair of boxers, along with some light-brown pants, I returned to Lucy with the folded clothes and… soon I realized that there was indeed a bigger problem.
While she got the female body perfectly elaborate, at least externally, the ‘young woman’ didn’t have any knowledge in putting on clothes.
And so I had to be closer to help her. Now, many TV series of various ratings taught everyone how this could turn out two ways. Either nothing happens, or something a bit mature developed.
Well, I can assure you all kids looking from home that today Mr. Mason found out that there is in fact a third scenario.
“Stop trying to poke my eyes out!” I furiously exclaimed as I struggled to get Lucy to put on that blasted shirt.
“You know, now I don’t have any reasons to worry about hurting you beyond repair~!” She eagerly pointed out, continuing to pester me like the worst kid possible. “I can just poke and annoy you like you would do with your tickles.”
Growing more pissed by the second as she continued to touch and probe at my face, I decided to remind the cheeky Kiv that she wasn’t safe from ‘danger’.
I briefly poked at her left hip, easily getting a shiver out of her. The woman’s mismatched eyes widened in shock at that sudden revelation.
“Wait, you mean to tell me that… I’m actually more sensitive to tickling?”
I didn’t reply, but she found a quick answer with the way I was failing to hide a smile from her.
“Oh for fuck’s sake! That literally voids any advantage now.”
With her fun spoiled, Lucy started to be less rebellious about helping me assist her, and soon I had her properly clothed and ready to leave this building.
And just as I hoped for things to get better from this point, I was given dreadful news in the form of Lucy’s inability to properly walk.
Coupling this detail to a few other issues that were caused by her sudden transformation, I knew that I couldn’t go through a normal day at work in these conditions.
So I was forced to stop by the entrance, allowing Lucy to sit by one of the chairs available there, and I went to call my boss.
“I know it’s sudden-”
“It’s alright, Mason. I can relate about having… problematic relatives.”
I sighed, nodding at the result of my BS excuse over why I could go to work.
“I will be back tomorrow morning. Get all the work for today done swiftly so-”
“Just calm down. I understand and I believe you deserve some mercy from… any more surprises from your cousin.”
“Thank you, sir.”
The call ended there, and as I returned my phone back to where I had first left it and turned to look at Lucy, I noticed the annoyed look she was aiming at me.
“What?”
“So, now I’m your ‘special’ cousin?”
I sighed. “Either that, or some ward from an asylum that just can’t get off of me.”
“Ouch. Aren’t we friends?”
“Convenient words when it suits your needs,” I remarked. “Still, we can’t just stand there idly and-”
“Pub.”
Frowning at her, I spoke up again. “It’s too early for-”
“Pub.”
“Lucy, this is non-negotiable-”
“PUB!”
I saw a couple of passerby innocents stopping to look at the exchange, and I was forced to concede to that pest’s demands.
“Fine, we’ll go to the pub, and you will see that it’s closed.”
Lucy nodded, looking as smug as she could as we started to trek around the city, ignoring some of the looks people were giving at her unusual eyes and hair. The kiv didn’t mind, in fact she almost strutted giddily under their stares… while keeping attached herself onto my arm
She still couldn’t walk normally, and that made for quite the hilarious sight considering her efforts to stick under the spotlight.
We arrived at our destination about ten to twenty minutes later, with my shoulders sagging in annoyance at her cackling as we found the place to be open. I was confused at first, but then I realized that this pub was one of those that also worked as a simple bar.
So when we entered inside, most of the staff was working on making some pastries and sweet stuff, with just two quiet fellows operating by the pub area.
Lucy almost tripped as she tried to push herself towards the source of the delectable beverage, but I was ready to pull her from falling face-first on the ground.
Grimacing over that bitter defeat, I helped her to reach one of the stools and-
“A bottle of whiskey!”
I groaned as I took a seat beside her. The man closer to us gave us a confused look and I nodded.
“She is… the kind of girl that likes alcohol early in the morning.”
Surprisingly enough, the guy gave me a sympathetic look, perhaps taking this situation as something I had to face on a normal basis.
Which is technically true since I’ve had to handle Lucy’s chaotic personality every single day.
A full bottle was offered, two glasses and a watchful eye from the two guys beyond the counter.
Were they expecting trouble from Lucy? Maybe they were worrying over the odds of her being violent while drunk?
I knew Lucy well enough to know that she couldn’t get drunk due to her biology, but I couldn’t just mention that without getting into some unpleasant questioning in return.
I didn’t drink any of that whiskey, preferring to order a cup of coffee as I waited for the ‘young woman’ to be done with her drinking.
Another bottle was ordered, heightening the surprised looks Lucy was getting from drinking so much without losing any of her usual personality.
…
“Are you done?” I asked calmly as I looked at her while the kiv looked thoroughly at the empty bottle of alcohol.
…
“Yes,” She remarked in minor dismay. It wasn’t like she got nothing out of that, but I could tell the kick was far from getting her satisfied with this trip.
Once I was done paying for both, I decided that for now it would be for the best if I had her stay back at the flat so that she could turn back into her usual self.
But as I started to lead her back to the apartment, I couldn’t help but pause at the familiar reflection offered by a mirror near the entrance of the building.
Blue fur. I grimaced, this time less than before as I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to handle this visit.
Was Luna here by Ludwig’s order? Was she alone?
Was she visiting for courtesy, or should I worry for something less friendly?
Lucy didn’t seem to give much weight to the situation. In fact, she merely shrugged as I paused to look at this detail.
So I pressed onwards, hoping for the best.
An attack did happen as something flew off from Luna and landed right onto my chest.
I blinked, staring down in surprise as I quickly recognized the one behind such a sudden ‘assault’.
Hello there, Hyzenthlay.
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AN
It’s been a while. And lots need to be said.
The story is going on, but something did change in the Satellite City Lore. As of a couple of weeks, Luna is no longer considered a Canon character. From what I understood from the announcement mentioning this, the departure wasn’t one born by conflict, but rather her creator decided to part way with the Satellite City group after a peaceful conversation. No reasons about this decision was given, but I don’t see any reason to press HalieDoobles for answers. She is a good artist, and I respect her a lot.
Still, Luna will continue to be part of this fanfic since I don’t wish to retcon her presence in the story since some of the chapters have her as the main element.