- Words within the Silence -
(or ‘How I bonded with Lucy in the calmest but most aggravating way possible’)
Beta-Reader: Ant0nius
Soft humming was the first thing my ears caught as I carefully opened my eyes.
The quivering leaves still latching onto the tree’s branches above covered the sky from my sight.
My body felt… refreshed. A little bit warmer than I thought and… slightly burdened.
Glancing down, I found Lucy still sprawled on her back over my chest, her hat now sitting on the ground as she quietly enjoyed the peace. Her humming remained the same, despite her bodily behavior suggesting that she knew I was now awake.
Part of me wanted to apologize at this. I had fallen asleep because of how we were set, my mind fleeting consciousness as I tried and failed to keep up with the lengthy truth that was Lucy’s own mind.
It would be a lie to say that she fully opened to me. It would also be a lie to proclaim that I looked at her with a brighter shine than before.
Lucy was still Lucy in my eyes… but now I had context that made sense of her behavior.
Of her cruelty, of her reluctance before losing chances to interact with people, may those be her friends or enemies…
It was sad. Tragic, morbidly dreadful… but still sad.
I was correct with my own assumptions that Lucy hadn’t changed much from her past self, a detail that stemmed so much from the way the other Kivouachians had adapted when they all started to live on Earth.
But her unwillingness to ‘go forward’ wasn’t one born from such simple reasons. Nor did I want to compare those to silly and flimsy ones.
Celia. I wonder if you were as brutal as Lucy remembers you as.
Maybe she was worse. Much worse compared to this murderous critter.
Someone that stood above Lucy in terms of brutality? An interesting development for sure, but my fascination was akin to the one a connoisseur of exotic animals has for a newer ‘discovery’. Pretty to look at, but I wasn’t unwilling to approach the matter without proper precautions.
Not when Lucy could react badly to it. Not when I myself didn’t need to know more than what the Lacemaker could tell.
But while one might be disgusted by Celia’s reputation, Lucy found it endearing. It was a sign, one that was cemented when she easily lost to her.
Not a professional fighter, or at least not one that served within the Yolsh. A self-made monster, one that craved for the pain of others and herself.
Lucy thought herself ready to brave this creature, and in the end she found defeat and humiliation.
And a lover.
“Your heartbeat is… annoying.”
My lips twitched, but I couldn’t tell at first if it was annoyance or amusement playing around with my facial features.
At least she didn’t know what I was thinking about at that moment.
“My bad,” I replied with a faux saddened tone. “I will try to shut my heart altogether the next time I fall asleep.”
Her hum finally ‘changed’. It was momentarily, as if she was drowning down a mirthful chuckle at my response.
“I don’t mind,” She rebuked calmly, almost taking the offer way too literally. “It’s still something to keep my head onto with this silence. Something that isn’t the chilling wind we got there.”
Managing to nod, I bit down a grimace at how cold the gusts of air were becoming despite the protection created by the trees surrounding us.
Maybe I should’ve used my jacket as a blanket. But then it would’ve been awkward to keep Lucy closer to my head. It was just awkward and plain unpleasant to even consider.
Despite my growing unwillingness to linger further in that small spot within the forest, my mind was still set to ponder and inquire.
“Do you reckon Mandus would love Earth?”
She blinked, staring up and giving me a quiet but strange look.
“Perhaps,” Lucy muttered thoughtfully. “The Kivouack lacked the variety Earth has. It’s not as brutal, but Mandus’ curiosity would find it more interesting. But love? I can’t tell.”
Mandus, or ‘Dizzy Jones’, was the main reason the original state of things was shattered. The prime cause of the Big Bang, the monster that led to the creation of primitive Earth.
A single being- no, an entity that existed within the fabric of space and time… and that cared only for its own emotions. Something that could easily shred through Kivouachians’ DNA…
It sounded so terrifying… and yet, just like Lucy described it, I couldn’t help but be awed by it.
It wasn’t by any means aggressive, or at least it wasn’t until Locket challenged it.
It was natural for the leader of a society to establish if something new can be considered a threat to her position of power.
A massive mistake on Locket’s part as she was mostly erased in that attempt. Her offense was taken as a declaration of war, and while the Kivouack had collapsed in a civil war at the exaggerated news that Locket had perished, many were forced to band up together against Mandus.
Too strong, and with a mind that was impossible to decipher. So aimless, but so cunning.
So curious, but so uncaring.
The novelty brought an end to centuries of peace. A peace born by violence, blood, and purity.
A peace that had no backup plans against such a troublesome force.
Lucy was one of the first ones to jump on board with that fun ride on Mandus’ side.
Not because she found its reasoning compelling. But because she didn’t have a reason to stay by the logical factions.
Her ties to society were severed when Locket tried to make the best out of that fight.
Lucy got a permanent scar on her eye, and Celia lost her life because of it.
Kivouachians thought that it was the work of Mandus, and that Lucy was just delusional to think that Locket would’ve been so desperate to remove two of her most problematic thorns.
Celia was a rogue. Someone without loyalty to anyone but to those she saw worthy of her  attention.
And Lucy was a political troublemaker. One which highlighted the weaknesses of Locket’s rule for several decades… and turning her a target for the former Grand Voice.
But Mandus didn’t care for political games. It didn’t have a reason to stick around for the power plays the Kivs had turned in their reasons to fight with each other.
Once again, proving that it was a beast driven by emotions. With a specific one standing out among the others.
Curiosity. That was the only hunger the creature cared for.
Was it still alive? Did it perish when the Kivouack was destroyed?
Or maybe it just left and wandered off to somewhere far and more ‘consequential’ to its eternal search.
The main question was left open with the lack of someone actually knowing about this.
“Why have you never told Ludwig about… the truth behind that day?”
A blink, then two… then she stared up and ignored me.
I frowned at the lack of a response, but I didn’t press her. Something about her current expression, a mix of neutrality and uncertainty, told me that she was planning to say something.
It took her just a couple of quiet seconds to come up
“He wouldn’t believe me,” Lucy mentioned dryly. “Just like he doesn’t trust me with where my allegiances were during the war.”
And I could see him being like that. I could see several kivs demonizing what Mandus was, all for the sake of bringing fresher meat to their ‘armies’.
Ludwig didn’t strike me as someone that would believe those… but maybe, just maybe, Mandus had left an impression on him that formed this uneasiness in talking about it.
It sounded so illogical and odd coming from the current Grand Voice, but fear was never a bringer of sane thoughts.
As I concluded that trail of thoughts, I noticed her eyes were once more on me. There was no smile or anything that could highlight her usual mirthfulness.
That was perhaps the only time I saw Lucy so serious and… questioning.
I was spared a blink, and my mind finally realized what she was demanding from me in that silent gaze.
“I think… I will believe your version,” I admitted tightly. “Not because of some silly reason… but I can tell when you’re telling the truth, and… this is one of the times you’re being honest.”
“What if I’m crazy?” She asked in return. “What if I myself can tell the truth”?
“I’m quite sure that we’ve already established that a long time ago,” I pointed out with a cheeky smile. “In fact, my trust about it is because I know when you get all crazy about stuff. Enough to even lie to yourself.”
A snort left her lips… and then she laughed.
I held back from joining her in that, listening as she let out quite the amused laughing.
“Fair enough. But then, you would have to accept the fact that you need to be mad to recognize a fellow crazy,” She mirthfully added and I shrugged.
“I’m mean, not really-”
“Oh please! I can tell you lost some marbles from time to time while I was around.”
“People tend to become illogical when a murderer is on the loose,” I rebuked.
“But I was just playing with you! If I had been serious then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
…
“Fair enough.”
“And let’s not forget that you’re no innocent soul,” Lucy pressed on giddily. “You sure know how to handle a wrench. I would say you have used it before against someone else.”
...I tensed up, feeling rather uncomfortable now that she mentioned this.
“Now your heart is taking off with how quick it’s going,” The Kivouachian stated curiously. “Not only do you try your hardest to appear peaceful and innocent, but you also deny yourself the little crave you have over what happened a few years ago.”
“How-”
“You should really keep your private documents in a safer place,” She interjected, unwilling to let go of the topic. “But now it’s a little late since I know what you’re hiding away from the world.”
...No.
“To be fair, your reasoning to hurt someone so badly is… humanly legitimate. Grievance can take you to a different level of emotions,” Lucy mused quietly over the matter. “Especially when some malicious fools can’t be dealt with because of pesky laws about peaceful diplomacy. Let me ask, did it hurt when she died and her death was rendered empty by the papers?”
My face grew paler, but a red hue was spreading as my embarrassment was matched by my anger.
“She didn’t deserve that. She was… she was-”
“A victim to a group of tools with no brain or soul,” The Kivouachian interrupted again. “One that was left unpunished. One that you knew that deserved all the pain you inflicted to them.”
…
“Lucy-”
“Did it make you feel better? To maim some cocky morons that just didn’t know better? To perpetrate justice right where no authority did anything?”
“No,” I replied with a tight voice. My throat felt sore, my breath missing as I found my mind bringing up part of that troublesome past. The one bit I really didn’t want to remember.
I could remember… gratification. Blood being spilled like that, their begging… it all rebalanced the unfairness handed out by the corrupt house.
There was no rich parent, no recommendation- nothing that could help save them from that beating.
It was brutal, it was swift and… I was never caught.
It was my own secret, one that my victims kept even now that they were far richer and ‘better’ than they were at the time.
Regret? Fear?
I couldn’t exactly tell what prevented them from returning the suffering back on me.
But the only thing that I knew for sure was how badly I took the event once I was back at my old home.
I remember being mentally unable to leave the ‘safety’ of the bed. No matter how much I cleaned my hands, blood would still be there for my eyes to see.
Holding it all back was a struggle, one that was vanified more than once when people took notice of my sudden reluctance to go around for fun hangouts.
And now… that was behind me.
Her memory was… dignified? I thought that violent deed would’ve been the correct path, but the more I pondered about it, the more I felt I actually stained it.
Lucy was quiet, and didn’t press for more as she turned on her belly, with her chin now settled onto my upper part of my chest.
She didn’t move, she didn’t speak. She merely thought as she studied my reaction.
I was letting out anything of my inner turmoil on my face, but my eyes were filtering out the emotional storm born from that reminder.
…
“You’re… pathetic.”
I blinked, staring down as I locked eyes on hers.
“You think that- that I was weak for not ending them?”
“Of course not,” She rebuked dryly. “I already lost hope for that to ever become the case for you. The issue is… how you handled it. The reason you gave the action to be necessary!”
“It was a matter of.”
“Revenge?”
“Justice.”
“And that’s what leaves me on the moral high ground,” Lucy pointed out. “Because I’m coherent with my own reasons to do things. And you, someone that tries so much to deny the truth, can’t handle the chances that it was actually a case of petty revenge.”
“Shut up.”
“Make me then, you fucking cunt!” She remarked loudly. “If you think you’re right, I bet you can prove it by saying I’m wrong. Here, now!”
…
…
“Like I thought. You really think you can flaunt around that you know more about me, and not expect me to know more about you at the same time?” The murderous critter reminded me. “But I’m not here to shame you on your own issues. Think of it as a… kindness? No, it’s more of a favor being returned.”
She giggled, enjoying the last bits of my grimace as a confused frown replaced it.
“But now, I’m curious. I told you what you wanted to hear, so I don’t think it’s much of a demand if I ask you a couple of questions now… wouldn’t it?”
It was rhetorical. And she continued despite my silence.
“Let’s start with a name. Who was the reason for your blood-thirst?”
…
“Everly,” I muttered tightly. “Her name was… Everly.”