Commission for Toddlergirl (Chapter 5)
The dazed and confused lynx groaned as she woke from her fitful half sleep. It had not been a good night. Despite the comfort of her crib’s mattress, sheets, and even the silly dress Andrew had put her in, Star could not properly sleep. As such, she had spent the better part of the night rolling back and forth, caught up in a torrent of confused emotions, occasionally prone to bursts of crying, and had all but burnt herself out by the time the morning sun started to stretch out from beyond the eastern horizon. After her first accident, shortly after Andrew had left that previous evening, Star had cried for nearly an hour out of abject humiliation, begging for him to come back and let her out of her inescapable crib that she might finally be rid of the bulky, squishy diaper between her legs, but that hadn’t been the worst of her problems. Considering the massive nursing bottle the panther had half convinced, half coerced her into drinking, naturally the already shamed and shambled lynx would have at least two more full bladders before dawn. But she barely remembered them. It wasn’t the accidents that were important, it was that Andrew, someone in whom she had trusted, despite barely knowing, had never returned, instead leaving her soggy and miserable in her cage until morning light.
When she finally came out of the daze, the events of the previous day returning to her in a flash, Star looked over herself, dyed pink and yellow hair out of order and hanging in her face. She brushed it away, and looked down at the front of her dress. There was a great, dark semi-circle about the right side, where she had been laying, and, when she moved, it wasn’t just the diaper that squished: she had leaked, and her sensitive loins, cooped up in the tight encasement all night long, stung a bit when she moved, almost like she had a bad rash…
Diaper rash… Star mouthed silently, pacifier long since lost, and reached a trembling paw down to pull her dress up and examine the mattress. The lynx hadn’t known at first, but the crib’s mattress was plastic lined, and, considering how badly her diaper had failed, she had spent the better part of the night lying in it, resulting in itchy spots all around the inside of her legs. She opened her mouth to verbally deny what she had done, closed it again, opened it once more, face burning white hot with mingled rage and humiliation and then released a screech that had the combined sound of a baby’s wail with the force of an officer who was used to giving orders. It hurt her throat to do, but Star kept up the noise for a full ten seconds before trailing off, teeth chattering with anger, and waited for the panther to make an appearance, which he did not thirty seconds afterwards. 
The nursery’s big oak door swung open fast, and Andrew took two big steps inside, face a picture of confusion and concern. His eyes locked on the lynx in the crib, clearly wondering what the heck was going on, and was taken fully aback as a flung pillow caught him square in the face.
“You ignorant sod!” Star shouted, pounding on the bars of her crib, “you left me in here all night, and look what you’ve done!” The lynx pointed at her soaked and ruined dress, hissing and trying to stand in her swollen and sagging diaper, barely successful only thanks to the aid of the bars.
Andrew’s mouth hung open as he tried to take in the situation, albeit unsuccessfully, “I… but… what…” he trailed off, gradually making his way over to the crib, “what happened to your- oh…” 
“Don’t give me that!” Star shouted, back into full drill instructor mode, “let me out of this thing this instant!” The panther shook out of his daze and did so, face red with the realization of what had happened, and unlatched the crib bars, letting them fall to the baseboard of the crib.
“S-sweetie, I’m sorry,” Andrew said, clearly sincere, but Star wasn’t having any of it.
“Oh you will be, once I take this to the major!” the lynx hissed, nearly face-planting into the tile floor as she frantically tried to climb from the raised crib, intentionally far from the ground to make any occupant feel just that much smaller. Andrew caught her just after she slipped, always the quick reflexes, but physical contact only sent the much smaller feline into a rage. She actually tried to bite him.
“Star, CALM DOWN!” Andrew said, gripping her firmly by the nape of the neck, and pulling up just enough to make himself known without hurting her, and the sudden shift in Star’s attitude was startling. One might even have called it feline. At the panther’s words and grip, fingers dug into a natural pressure point, every muscle in Star’s body went stern, pulled away for a moment, then relaxed. Her fur, which had flared out in all directions to make her look somewhat bigger and more intimidating, slowly deflated, and the lynx’s fury died, leaving only cold resentment in her eyes. The panther let go of her nape, but wasn’t about to let her run off just yet. “Listen, Star,” Andrew said, perfectly calm, and made the lynx look him in the eyes, “I’m sorry. I checked in on you last night, and you looked perfectly peaceful. Honest. I had no idea that you…” he stopped there, watching Star’s expression go from one of anger to one of abject shame and denial. He couldn’t see his little girl so down… “Sweetie, can you ever forgive me?”
Star sniffled a bit, shuddering all over and looking like she was about to start crying again, but didn’t answer the question, “y-you have no idea how humiliating that was,” she whimpered, not meeting his eye, “I don’t want to play anymore…”
“Oh, little Star,” Andrew murmured, and moved a step closer to her, intent on comforting the lynx, but she pulled away, head hung low in shame, “how can I make this up to you?”
“I don’t know,” Star said, short of temper suddenly, “you leave me in a soaked nappy all night, and now you want to make up?” She stomped her paw in frustration, and felt a little more fluid leak from her diaper, which only added to the lynx’s slowly returning anger. “Aaahhhhggghh!” she said, sinking her head into her hands and storming over to the changing table. Andrew was taken aback yet again, and could only sit there stupefied as Star picked up one of the spare diapers and looked at him furiously. As odd as it might seem, his first thought was that she was going to ask for a change, but that assumption faded shortly after Star beaned him in the face with it. The diaper unfurled in the air and smacked him square in the nose, plastic side up, then opened and slapped him in the face. The panther caught it as it fell, and looked down at the pink, padded diaper, intended to fit any size. Star was still glaring at him when he looked up, then spoke, “put that on, pour a pint of cold water down your pants and then sit in that cage of yours for the next eight hours, then you’ll know what you put me through last night.”
The panther looked down at the diaper, then back up at Star, not yet certain if she was kidding or not. The lynx crossed her arms, very much serious, and Andrew couldn’t keep the red out of his face. Sure, he had been interested in diapers since childhood, but, in his fantasies, it had always been him putting them on others, and the role-reversal was unsettling to him.
“I’m waiting,” Star prompted, foot tapping, her own soaked diaper forgotten. She actually heard Andrew whimper as he thought it over, flushing as pink as Star had when he had forced her into them the previous day, then sighed, and looked up at her.
“You’ll forgive me if I do… this?” he gestured at the diaper, and now it was Star’s turn to look taken aback. She hadn’t considered him actually agreeing….
“I- uhh…” the lynx stammered, much of her steam suddenly vanishing, but recommitted herself, and tried to seal the boiler shut before the rest escaped. Years in the military had taught her the value of seizing control at the opportune moment. Whether or not she wanted the relationship with this panther or not was irrelevant. Even as the submissive partner, Star wasn’t about to let Andrew have free reign over her. Boundaries had to be set and respected, and, regaining her posture, she nodded, “yes, lay down,” and gestured at the prissy, girly changing table. 
“Only for you,” Andrew said with another sigh, and reluctantly walked over to the changing table, tail very much between his legs. Naturally, it was too small for him, and his legs hung over the edge, but it was otherwise sound. 
It had only been eight in the morning when Star had woken Andrew with her scream, and he had rushed down to her right out of bed, only halting to throw on a pair of track pants over his underwear, and a random white T-shirt off the dresser. Star, while having a theoretical understanding of how to change a diaper, found herself quite averted to the idea. And not just on a man, but a man she had hardly just met. The lynx’s blush suddenly doubled as she tentatively pulled down the panther’s pants, her hands quivering with indecision. 
Andrew tried to retain his modesty, every part of his mind and body telling him that this situation was as backward as one could imagine, all except for one: a deep seated belief that Star was the one he had wished for and hoped for all his life. There wasn’t any explaining it, not with words anyway, but he knew, if this was what he had to do to salvage their relationship, it was worth it.
Star was scarcely in better shape. Her anxiety about undressing a coworker seriously impeding her ability to see the bright, clear line that she had plotted only moments ago. Whatever appeal diapers had for her, this sort of role reversal was totally not one of them. The lynx wasn’t maternal by any extent of imagination, had been raised in an all-male household, and worked in a profession that required quick thinking and dominance. Emotional hang-ups were game breakers in both.
“It’s… okay?” Star said awkwardly, seeing Andrew’s own apprehension written all over his cheeks, and thinking that maybe some of the cooing that had worked so well on her the previous day would work here, but it came out as wooden and stilted as a fourth grade love poem, and actually managed to increase the general discomfort.
“Just get it over with…” Andrew said, no more enjoying this than was the lynx, and pulled down his own pants, kicking them off the table with a paw, and revealing his striped briefs. Star hesitated, having fully expected the panther to be naked underneath, then blushed forty shades of red and gingerly started working the girly, pink diaper under him, not bothering to remove his underwear out of equal parts desire not to see him naked, and anxious mistake. The diapers had been made with female subjects in mind, and probably wouldn’t fit very well on a male, but Star didn’t have much trouble from that point on as the objective became closer than the starting point. In a desire to cut the scene as short as possible, she completely ignored powder, cream and lotion, which wouldn’t be necessary anyway, then pulled the front of the diaper up around his waist and taped it in place, almost collapsing from exhaustion as she did. 
Panting from the horribly awkward and passionless ordeal, Star used the table for balance as Andrew reluctantly sat up, girly pamper crinkling every the more since it didn’t properly hug his figure.
“Not so fun, is it?” Star said, but it came out ironic instead of scathing. What happened next would defy the lynx’s attempts to explain it for years. Andrew started to nervously giggle, looking abjectly ridiculous taped up in a diaper that looked more suited for a three year old girl, and, despite her feelings towards him, Star started to giggle too. By the time the fit had passed, Andrew was curled up on the changing table, Star half prone on it, and both were caught up in hysteric laughter as the tension faded. 
“Oh you silly goose,” the muscular, adult male panther in the pink diaper said, hopping down off the changing table and toppling over from the bulk of his augmented undergarments, followed by another long round of giggling and teasing as the bigger cat worked to get his feet back under him, impeded as he was by thick padding and long legs. At least Star was short and could waddle. Star pounced him playfully when he got back to his hands and knees, sending both sprawling across the floor in each other’s arms. Andrew grinned and pinched Star’s cheek, “so you forgive me?” he asked, blushing again.
Star matched his blush right back, then nodded after a few seconds, “you can take that off if you want,” she said, sitting back up, but helpless to keep the smile off her face, “even if you do look cute with it on.”
“Hey, there’s only one little girl in this house,” Andrew teased, “and her name is Star. Now how about we get you out of that soaked diaper before you get diaper rash, okay?” He stood up, and watched Star come back to sensibility, then think over what he had just said and nearly sink into the ground with humiliation.
“Too late…” Star murmured,” letting the now standing panther help her to her feet, then pull the soggy, probably ruined dress up and off her to be cast into a corner with Andrew’s pants. He’d have Jeeves clean it up later. 
“You have a rash, sweetie?” Andrew said, momentarily forgetting about his own padded loins as she helped the now half naked Star up and onto the changing table while minimizing the damage to her dignity caused by the soaked pamper. When she nodded, the panther sighed and started digging through the contents of the cupboard below the changing table. He acquired a handful of different creams, powders, lotions, and a fresh diaper from the stack, identical to the one he himself was wearing. “Here, let me get that off you,” he said, pressing the somewhat reluctant lynx’s belly squarely against the table as he tore the tapes on her diaper without any hesitation, then watched her squeak in discomfort as it came away. With maturity and grace, he inspected Star’s swoolen and inflamed diaper bits and sighed, “Ouchie…” he said, legitimate sympathy in his voice, “I’m so sorry I left you like that, sweetie,” then petted her belly, ready to do anything in his power to comfort her at this point.
“It’ll heal,” Star grumbled, her pride stinging more than her body, despite the not inconsiderable pangs of pain she felt when something brushed against the inflamed skin. The lynx stared off through the window on the other side of the room, then gasped suddenly as something cool and squishy feeling was massaged into her fur over her rash. It stung for a second, but then, almost suddenly, the pain receded, and Star was left looking at Andrew’s smiling face as he showed her the tube of diaper rash cream. 
“It’s okay, sweetie, it’s okay,” Andrew cooed into Star’s willing ears over and over again as he powdered her loins, then pushed another diaper, this one thicker than the last, under her tail and began the effort of positioning and taping it up, showing no resentment from the previous events. “There we go,” he said with a smile, patting Star’s belly once he had finished, “all dry and comfy until your next change, okay?” 
Star was used to his teasing by now, and didn’t respond, but couldn’t help but notice he hadn’t removed the diaper she’d put him in yet, and was helpless to beat down the desire to ask. “Speaking of which,” Star said, sitting up and happy that her rash didn’t pain her, “why are you still wearing… that? Aren’t you going to take it off?”
Andrew grinned awkwardly, still inwardly knowing he was doing the right thing, and came back over to the lynx, “no, I think I’ll keep it on for now,” he said, helping her down off the table, “I should have been more sensitive, and I’d much rather be stuck in a diaper for a few hours than lose you.” He gave her one of his winning smiles, and scratched under the squirming lynx’s chin as he gave her a peck on the cheek. 
Star didn’t respond, she didn’t know how to, and could only follow Andrew like a lost puppy as he pulled his pants back on over the diaper, luckily loose enough to fit, then went to the lynx’s nursery dresser for a choice of clothes for her.
“How about this?” Andrew asked, pulling out a rosy red footed sleeper from the dresser and offering it to her with a smile, “it’ll be nice and warm after all night in that dank nappy.” Star didn’t argue, and let the panther dress her, stepping into the sleeper and letting it be zipped up the back where she couldn’t reach, as was surely the intention. She even purred a bit, tipping Andrew off that she was happily his little girl again, and absolutely preened in the snug warmth of the garment after her long stretch in nothing but a wet dress and soggy diaper. Andrew swooned over her, “Well now, look at who’s all sweet and pretty again?” 
“Hush, you,” Star said, blushing fiercely, but no longer angry, “I only let you put me in this so I could get out of that dress.”
“Sure you did, kitten,” the panther replied, walking over and hugging Star from behind. He could hear her purring, and, belatedly, realized that she wasn’t the only one.
“Very cute and all…” Star eventually said, hugging him back and trying very hard to keep in an adult headspace, “but can’t we just have a normal breakfast? I’d kill for a coffee right now…”
Andrew grinned, and took her by the paw, “follow me, sweetie,” he said, and led Star out of her nursery, and through the decorated halls of what was, by all accounts, a mansion. The two waddling felines eventually, and with few enough hijinks, reached the secondary kitchen. It was a modern looking affair with glistening marble countertops and metal cupboards. Star nearly collapsed into the first chair she saw, and Andrew walked over to a coffee machine that just screamed expensive. “How do you take your coffee?” 
“Black,” Star replied, remembering the cups without number of disgusting, black, kinda-sorta coffee that was served to basic trainees in their first year. 
“Black?” Andrew teased, “Someone your age? You’re not even out of diapers, yet.”
“Neither are you,” Star shot back, face in her hands from the embarrassment of it all.
Andrew could easily have pointed out that Star clearly needed them, whereas he did not, but knew better than to bring the conversation back to his oversight the previous night. He served the coffee, sitting in the chair across from the lynx, who wasted no time in getting the elephant out of the room.
“Andrew,” Star said, taking a swig of her coffee, a delicious premium roast, then sighed and continued, “if this is going to work out, we need to set down ground rules.”
The panther nodded, “alright, what did you have in mind?” 
“I don’t like not being able to get out of things,” she said, remembering back to how most of his equipment had been stocked with locks and child restraints to keep her from escaping.
 “Would a real baby be able to get out of their car seat, Star?” Andrew said, raising an eyebrow, “Or how about their crib? No. If you can get out, half the magic is lost,” then added a sly grin, and continued, “besides, I think you quite enjoyed being helpless, even if you won’t admit it.”
Star’s blush might have been visible from the moon as she scrambled for a reply, “B- but- No! I most certainly did not enjoy that!” she said, starting to get butterflies in her stomach.
“Admit it,” Andrew said, giggling to himself, “even in retrospect, you can’t pretend that wasn’t fun.”
Star grumbled in reply, looking off into a corner of the room, arms crossed like a pouty toddler, “I hated it,” she said untruthfully. Maybe half of her hated it, the same half that she used when working in her command position, the part that was in control right now, but there was some other faction, deep within the walls of Castle Star, that wanted nothing more than to be back where it had been the previous night, small and helpless in the paws of a larger, more powerful male.
Andrew knew very well about the lynx’s confliction, and called her on it, “So leave. Walk away. Not like I’m going to keep you here against your will.”  
That gave the lynx pause for thought. Star opened her mouth as if to reply, then closed it again, looking away, “but I don’t want to…” her little side said, peeping up for the first time, and felt the panther’s paw overtop of yours, and his smiling eyes on her.
“I know you don’t, sweetie, I know you don’t,” Andrew said, looking right at the embarrassed feline as she contested within herself for control. Eventually, as it often did, Baby Star won out, and she began purring.
A long silence followed, with Star looking into Andrew’s eyes, and Andrew looking back into Star’s, both grinning at one another, simply glad that, against all the odds, they had managed to find each other in a time and place where their mutual interests might be realized. 
“So…” Star began, wanting to break the silence after a while, “What now?” She asked, looking away after the long stretch of eye contact.
“Well,” Andrew said, intertwining their fingers together on the table, “you’ve got me, a whole free weekend, and a world of possibilities just waiting for you,” he grinned at her, “What do you want to do?”
“Uh… breakfast?” she peeped, giggling a bit to relieve the tension.
“Aww, is my little girl hungry?” Andrew said, standing up to almost his full, considerable height, and smiling down at the little lynx, who actually squirmed in her seat at the memory of being carried and manipulated like a child the previous day. It had been wonderful in the extreme on one level, and absolutely terrifying on another, “would you like uppies, sweetie?” Andrew said with a giggle, always enjoying a good tease.
“Bollocks…” Star grumbled, and felt Andrew swat her on the thigh.
“Don’t let me hear you use your filthy language again,” he scolded, and watched the now fully little lynx seem to sink into her chair, murmuring her apologies, then reached down, carefully wrapped his large, powerful hands up under her arms, and lifted the kitten in all but name up and over his shoulder, wrapping one arm under her diapered rear for support, and the other around her back to keep her steady, “there we go. Now let’s get something for you to munch on, sweetie. I’ve got a very nice can of mashed peas with your name on it.”