It was a warm day in the midst of the high, hot season.  A day like any other, perfectly normal.  Perhaps there was a gentle sparkle amongst the bleached rocks of the seaside.  I had retreated to this shore to take my mind off the stress of what had happened the previous day.  
------
A passing Nlegera rattling off its mouth as they always do told another that I had killed someone years ago.  That I was dangerous and they should have had me euthanized for the act.  I ignored them.  Fools.  No Fsemacea has killed a spirit as a result of free will or carelessness, only from the things bumbling out of their designated safe travel zones into the paths of us at speed.  And I myself was innocent of such offenses, though a good number of others had had such incidents.  
I was silent, not even calmly dismissing the spirit, which is all I could have done, given who I was with.  I saw their sleek red and green form out of the corner of my vision.  The rigid curve of their trunk.  The flecks of red spotting their coat.  Their constant, blacked-out eyes stared into my own in disapproval as I remained silent.  They began to tap out a message on their wrist.
"Your silence is suspicious.  What is hidden from me?"
"Nothing, Dheroratera."
"Why are you wordless?"
"The rambling of the ignorant is not worth my attention."
"Do not disrespect the visitors."
I paused a moment, holding my tongue.  In the old days I would have given them a piece of my mind.  Told them their shaking and ever-callous attitude were more disrespectful than my words would ever be. But something stopped me.  I still don't know quite what.  
I couldn't bring myself to directly hurt them like that.  You see, there's something about them that outsiders never really understand.  Behind their harsh demeanor they're very vulnerable.  Delicate.  The day their Far Spirit got another Fsemacea they vanished without a trace for a week to rampage in the wilderness.  When they came back they told me it was because they were terrified they would be replaced or surpassed by that new Fsemacea.  They almost stayed out in the wilderness out of shame, spite and hopelessness and so they'd never have to see that new one's face and known they were better than them and the spirits would surely prefer them.  And since that, they took every opportunity to make subtle jabs and nitpicks at that other Fsemacea just to show their superiority over him and protect their fragile ego.  As time has passed I suppose I've found myself almost scared of their vulnerability.  They've weaponized it, you see.  You speak up against them, they'll pull the emotions card, remind you of those bad times they've been through, make you feel too bad for them to resist.  They speak out against you, they'll ignore what you say and wreck you with what they declare to be the dry facts, unwilling to acknowledge any objections.  And that's how they've remained in power even though there is considerable resent against them. 
I exhaled.  
"In any case, the claims are false.  My hands are clean."
My words were brief and unsatisfying.  I wanted to be honest but couldn't, and the words I'd planned swirled in my head.
"Good.  And it is advisable that you be respectable as you can to compensate for faded color and jittering stride."
I froze.  How dare they.  But I held my tongue.
"I passed your trials.  I am not worthy of denouncement."
Very subtly, I saw them glance around to ensure no creature would see what they were about to say. Their gaze turned back to me and settled on me, observing me too intently.
"When you come to a stop I watch your whole body snap aside most ungraciously.  At other times, your motions are brief and sharp.  I often can see your markings blur from vibration.  Day by day I hear the visitors crying out for you to display grace.  Such harsh actions hurt them, surely you know.  You ought to.  For that is what we Fsemacea are known for.  Our gentleness.   Our calmness.  Our ability to charm nearly anyone who comes to visit.  You are none of those.  You are impulsive, you are rough.  You fail your creator.  I only let you pass because I know you once pleased all of us."
You fail our maker more.  Ever-watching, you condemn the minor faults of the most loyal and gentle creatures, tearing into them with every cold stare.  Perhaps you love the Dragons, but you moreso love the sense of superiority, don't you?  Of feeling like the purest of all and pulling yourself ever higher by ripping apart anyone who stands in your path?  I hate to feel sorry for you given how you've even adopted your faults into defenses against blame.  But I do.  Because I frankly don't understand why you care so much about loyalty to the Dragons. 
I wanted to say so much.  I wanted to free the thoughts.  But for a third time, I was silent.  
"I will see what I can do, Dheroatera.  I must be off, however."

They stood rock-still as I galloped away, false purpose stiffening my stride.  
----
And now the sun had set and risen again and hung high in the sky.  Clouds blurred its rays and cooled the land.  
The things I had almost said still swirled within me as I cast another gaze towards the squared-off stones dotted along the beach.  I paced slowly along the length of one of them, dragging a hand along the flat top of it, casting a casual glimpse at the dim light piercing the clouds.  Waves lapped the shore.  It had not been particularly sunny, but it had still been hot out, and the rain had stopped only recently, leaving the air thick and muggy with humidity and clouding my mind.  I wanted to escape what I knew.  I wanted to escape this present time.  
Really, all I wanted was to go back in time to those golden days of yore when the two of us got along.  As much as they sickened me, Fsemacea do think alike, and in the past we had had many good times.  Sure other others were and still are that way as well, but there was something about Dheroratera that always stood out to me and I could never place my finger on it.  Frankly, they were just another mid-sized Fsemacea damn near indistinguishable from the others besides their affinity for prancing around in the woods.  Perhaps it was how unusual they had been when they first appeared, being one of the first larger creatures the Dragons made.  They may have been generic, but they were that way first- did that make them the most or least generic?  One can only wonder the same about the Chepoirrat, in the beginning the first of them was unique and groundbreaking, but now they are nothing but one of an interchangeable pack of near-identical beings made in their image.  
And then I heard a small voice.
"Dheroratera sucks!"
A flickering orange-red spirit was fluttering circles around a rock.  I came up closer to investigate.
"Dheroratera sucks!"
Another voice called out next to it.
"Dheroratera sucks!  Dheroratera sucks!  Dheroratera sucks!"
There were a whole group of the puffballs chanting away.
"Dheroratera sucks?"
I gave them a quizzical glance, tilting my head knowing my face could show nothing.
"Yeah, all Fsemacea suck but especially that speckled green shit-"
"All Fsemacea suck!  Including you you overrated shortstack!"
I sighed.  Ehtstunisa were split between hating and loving us.  No in betweens. 
 "I may be nothing but a forgettable old Floater, but you know what?  Dheroratera does suck.  There you go, right from the horse's mouth, even though I'm not even a horse."
"Dheroratera sucks?"
"Hell yeah they suck."
"Guys I don't get it I like Dheroratera."

"It's a damn joke you Nlegera dumbass."
I gently clenched a fist in agreement.
"I say this without irony.  Dheroratera sucks.  I used to be friends with them and they're an overbearing, controlling asshole who can't take criticism.  Can't believe I actually used to enjoy interactions with that green monstrosity."
"What part of 'It's a damn joke' don't you understand?  You Fsemacea sure are dense."
I swatted at my forehead in exasperation.  They were going to go that way, weren't they?  I never was good at understanding the spirits' strange jokes.  I opened my mouth one last time as I turned away.
"I've had this conversation before.  Not again.  Anyways, Dheroratera sucks."
My last words reverberated as I picked up to a jog.  As usual, the light gathered around me, clinging to my body as I galloped along the shore, weaving between the rocks and at times throwing in some acrobatics to amuse them and take my mind off things.  Rolling myself over in the air as I hopped over rocks, turning in sudden tight circles, the like.  But the words wouldn't leave me.  With each footstep I heard a voice inside chanting 
"Dheroratera-sucks, Dheroratera-sucks, Dheroratera-sucks, Dheroratera-sucks."
Dear Dragons, this wasn't going to leave my head anytime soon and I was going to have to keep myself from letting it seep out in my words someday.  My agitation sparked me to go faster.  To put less care in my movements.  Fuck what they said.  I'll be awkward and snappy and shivering if I want to.  Especially in mood like this.  My turns grew harder, my flips faster.
"Dheroratera-sucks-Dheroratera-sucks-Dheroratera-sucks-Dheroratera-sucks."
I shook my head a bit, both wishing it would go and willing it to stay, growing further irritated and more furious in motion.
"DheroraterasucksDheroraterasucksDheroraterasucksDheroraterasucks."
And then I saw the light
And thought I felt something brush against my leg
And continued on as I had until I saw the crowds departing from me and gathering around the path whispering and gasping in horror.  I came to a halt.
Several yards back, the light flickered out.  I felt something sink inside me.  For a long moment things stood still until the realization hit me.
I've done it.
I could have avoided it.
The echoing in my head continued quietly but I tried to block it out, feeling increasingly sickened by how its mindless rhythm had driven me to this state.  I felt myself rapidly growing cold as the frenzy melted away.  Time had snapped in half.  
Immediately I heard mumbling about how they shouldn't have been off the designated paths and there wasn't anything I would have been able to do.  It didn't matter.  If I'd been calmer and not lost myself like that I wouldn't have been so fast and reckless and maybe I would have reacted in time but it didn't matter the past was past now and there was nothing I could do about it, I was gone I was lost I was tainted I was unworthy I needed to go far away and never show my face again. 
I sprinted away, casting aside any of the lights that still clung to me, making my way to the last place Dheroratera would ever go so I'd never have to feel the shame I did when I looked at their eyes or even the minty green of their coat.  Towards the Woodlands.  Beyond the Woodlands.  I had to banish myself to the most unworthy place, where the creatures the Dragons scorned ruled in brutality, fragility, and crudeness.  Where I would never have to see them again and they would never have to see me.  
Truthfully, I have deceived you.  Dheroratera did not banish me from our fold as they have others.  I did it myself in feeble attempt to escape my shame.