I awoke with a start. Which, considering everything around me, it was somewhat justified, I felt. . .

Oh, just how in the hell did I end up here?

I wasn’t terribly sure how it was, that I’d ended up in this strange place. You know how it goes, sometimes though! It had to have happened to someone at some point. You lay down after a long night, maybe you’ve had a little too much wine, a little too much pizza before bed time. Point being, you’ve settled down, all's right with the world. Gut gurgling, eyes heavy, a smile on your lips. And you fade off into the realm of dreams. . . 

Only to wake up in some sort of nightmare.

Okay, so maybe I was just being a teensy bit over dramatic. To many, many people, myself included, it wouldn’t have been the first time that someone had dreamed of an ENTIRE WORLD MADE OUT OF FOOD. Far as the eye could see, soda waterfalls, licorice trees, bushes fully of gummy treats. The sharp decadent smell of sugary chocolate, wafting up from the very ground you were standing upon, as creatures, all made of any food stuff you could think of, from cotton candy, to more just so happened to be flying about in the world, as though there weren’t a thing wrong with it. No, most people wouldn’t view this as a nightmare of sorts. I certainly wouldn’t, on a good day. No, I remember quite fondly, all those years hunkered down in front of the television, watching all those cartoons and comics past. One shots, quirky little things, where some hero, or villain would find themselves lost in a similar situation, with nought else to do but end up eating their way on out of the situation. It was something I’d fantasized about, time and time again. Hell! It even showed! Any one of my co-workers who’d ever paused to get a look at me for longer than five minutes could attest to the fact. Maybe I fantasized a little too much, seeing as it was getting harder and harder to get through the tiny office hallways. But this? This went beyond the pale for me. And it wasn’t because I didn’t want it, but because it felt. . .strange. 

It felt more than just a dream. 

It was real.

I gulped, and looked around. Having the more and more present feeling that I was being watched. By what, I could hardly say, though I knew for a fact right then and there, I had no desire to be where I was standing. The sooner I found somewhere to hunker down, the better. And that was exactly what I did too! I may not have been the fastest thing around in the world--okay, if I was honest, I was pretty damn slow. All those evenings spent hunkered down in front of the television, with some bucket of chicken, or some new fried dish. Or, oh god, the deep fried, cream stuffed donuts, from down the street. . .ahrem. In either case, the aftermath of my, ah, past deeds showed in the way I carried myself. Even a hurried waddle from me brought me to wheezing my way, slowly but surely through the surely strange, and alien plane that I’d found myself wandering through. I could feel all the weight of my gravid bulk pressed down against me, each swaying step, ponderous waddle, and tiring swing of my arms, bringing me closer to exhaustion from step one. I was HEAVY. I knew I was heavy too. On account of the fact that I hadn’t been able to see my feet in years, and was having trouble getting up every morning. That slope of my chest was enough to make every man, woman and child on the planet jealous. The very same slope, which was pressing down against my lungs and heart respectively, that tired aching lard making me wheeze my way to the nearest horizon. Where I was heading, I knew not. I just knew that without a doubt I needed to be anywhere, but here. 

And that was my journey. Though it couldn’t have lasted longer than an hour, hour and a half, I’d swear it had carried on into eternity. Legs, cramping, stretching, aching, practically audibly begging me and my bulbous hide to sit down somewhere so I could finally relax. An hour away from my journey, and it seemed that the sun was beginning to set overhead this strange place. I’d only just managed to find a cave through sheer luck. Seemingly unoccupied, I made to waddle on over in there, before finally collapsing in a bloated heap. I could relax. Finally. At the very least that’s what I thought. During my time here, for once in my life I’d actually been a good little fatty. Having no idea about what was in here, what might I’ve been here, or what the food might have actually been, I’d elected not to eat it. Hey. I may have been a glutton in all things, but even I had to have my sensibility. So far, I  had thought I’d been the absolute pinnacle of prim and proper respectable idol of survival. To be fair, I had. But as I finally settled down, hoping that I would find this all to be some strange, pizza-fueled dream of some sort, I made closed my eyes yet again. Letting the rigors of exhaustion overtake me. I know now, that I should have bothered to eat SOMETHING during the day. Had I done so, things might have turned out quite differently. But, no. I’d been a good little fatty trying to get by. And so I drifted off without a care in the world.

A care in the world, save an empty stomach.

I should’ve known given the wildlife of this place, that a rumbling stomach WOULD be the one thing that managed to wake the candied and unhealthy junk food denizens of the realm. I should have known they’d come find me, some practically rumbling beast of a creature. And of course I should have known that the way I would wake up in the middle of the night, too hungry to focus, would indeed be with one of the denizens stuffing themselves into my mouth. I woke up with a start, save by then it was already too late. Some plump and over-stuffed bunny rabbit of some kind, possessed entirely of––you guessed it––chocolate was forcing itself down into my mouth. I barely had time to blink, let alone chew. Chomping the poor thing up into overly sweetened bites. I could FEEL my throat stretching, just trying to get it all down, in manageable bites, and nearly wound up choking once or twice in process, before leaning back with a thunderous “URRRRRP!” to sound off my managing it. I gave up the ghost, gasping for breath, and that’s when the rest of these denizens made to attack as well. The next up was a coterie of actual gummy worms. Thick as any grown man’s arms, and forcing themselves down into my mouth one at a time. A rainbow of sugar-filled colors, soon assaulting my senses. Had it been in any context, I would’ve groaned, shivered, and moaned with a delight that bordered on, and then shot past orgasmic, but in this I could only be afraid. Because I could feel myself widening! I could feel my love handles, turn into juicy thick tyres. I could feel my hips beginning to widen and spread along with my generous ass cheeks, to become an all new and impossible base for my soon to be massive body. I could feel my thighs bloat into enormity, and then into uselessness, as my feet sunk back into the massive pillars of lard and cellulite. No way to differentiate any part of them from one another, not my knees, not my ankles, and certainly not my thighs, they were quickly swelling into the realms of massiveness. I could feel my arms sinking into my flesh in much the same way, and  my head begin to give way to bloated cheeks overtaking and obscuring my vision. This, all of this, from what was an unstoppable array of creatures, feeding themselves to me one after another. My gut gurgling, groaning, churning, whining its complaints away unto the night. And all I could do was sit there and eat, and eat, and eat, until I once again passed back into the realms of the dreaming. . . 

I awoke again.

Though this time, not to the sounds of babbling waterfalls, or even my alarms. It was to the sounds of rescue crews, and sirens. 

At some point, I’m not sure, how or why, but I managed to return to my home. An embodiment of gluttony if nothing more. For a while, there were people searching the uh. . .wreckage of myself, looking for clues, for trapped survivors, some sort of renegade fatty, some contaminated water supply. Someone, anyone had to know something to be the cause for the rapid expansion that was my impossible body. Myself? I didn’t quite care. For the time being the city was taking care of me, in spite of the fact that I was, well. Occupying where my home should have been, and probably breaking all kinds of regulations. But alas, it was all beyond me now. So, rather than worry about it. I often times found myself closing my eyes and drifting.

Who knew?

Maybe one day, I’d have sweet dreams again.