Chapter 21
Well, at least I can walk in this one… Matt thought to himself, wiggling a bit in Telia’s arms as she set him down in the living room, which was separated from the main hallway and dining room by a half-wall and couch. 
“Now, be a good boy and don’t let me catch you out of your pen, okay Matt?” Telia said, taking him by the paw and leading the waddling brown and black furred canine over to the padded gate of the play-pen that encompassed the better part of the room. The padded plastic fence was only about chest high on Matt, and he probably could have climbed it if he tried, even with the encumbrance of the diaper which encased his loins. Like everything else that these caretakers used, the fence was intended as more of a psychological boundary than a physical one. Sure he could hop the fence, but that would more than likely incur a punishment, or a further loss of privilege and independence, not to mention whatever kudos he had apparently earned that morning. The result was a vicious cycle, the depths of which was only now starting to become apparent to him: if he obeyed blindly, he’d be putty in their paws. If he didn’t, they’d grind him down over time until he obeyed them anyway. He didn’t have any cards to play, so the only course available to him, whatever his feelings about it, were to sit back and try to make the best of his situation… Who knows? Maybe it would get better?
“Okay…” Matt said, tail unconsciously hanging between his legs, and waddled through the gate of the play pen, realizing only belatedly how used he was getting to the bulky diaper, and had adjusted his movements to compensate, spreading his legs further and taking wider steps. There wasn’t much he could do about it, but, as he watched himself in the mirrored wall on one side of the pen, it occurred to him just how childish his toddling really was. Abashed, his ears and shoulders sunk a bit, and Matt curled up in a corner to comfort himself. 
“Something wrong, sweetie? Why aren’t you playing?” Matt’s orange and white striped caretaker said, returning to the living room a few minutes later and clearly concerned with his inactivity. 
“Huh…?” Matt said, blinking back up and looking at her, “Oh… erm, I’m just…” he babbled, clearly not convincing anyone, and Telia responded by opening the gate and coming inside. She came over next to him and sat down, Matt averting his eyes to a random point on the floor an arm’s distance away, and put an arm around him.
“Someone’s uncomfortable,” Telia said, pulling her charge close to her and gently nuzzling the shepard, who only sighed in reply. 
“I miss Talikin…” Matt said, ready to latch onto any comfort offered, no matter the source.
“I know, sweetie,” the tigress replied, nosing the side of his head comfortingly, “it’s completely normal to miss your mate.”
“I-it’s just… all those things you said…” Matt murmured, sinking lower, “I’m a terrible person, aren’t I…? 
“You have your flaws,” Telia said, gently pulling the softened shepard into her lap and wrapping both arms around his waist, “but there’s nothing that can stop you from fixing them… nothing except you.”
Matt sniffled a bit, leaning back into his caretaker’s embrace and even humming a bit as she once again took to grooming the top of his head, “S-so I can change…?”
“If you want to,” Telia replied, “and I’ll be here to help you every step of the way… That’s what we do, sweetie. Change is good… I know from experience.”
“R-really…?” Matt said, eyes watering, wriggling around in her arms so that he might bury his face in her neck. 
“Really really,” Telia said with a smile, letting her nose sink into the top of his head. “Just relax, buddy… everything’s going to be alright…” The tigress cooed into her charge’s lain-back ears for a few more minutes, letting him whimper out all of his grief into her shoulder while she consoled him. Eventually whimpering gave way to tears, and Matt cried like a lonely toddler for another twenty minutes, his caretaker keeping up a steady stream of sweet nothings to keep him comfortable.
His fit ended almost as abruptly as it had began, with Matt pulling red eyed out of the dark splotch he had left on Telia’s sweater from his tears, and looking ashamed, though whether from his uncontrolled emotional outburst or from the realization that had caused it, she didn’t know. Eventually, after he had calmed down a bit, the shepard accepted an affectionate squeeze on the shoulder, and asked, “s-so… what now?”
“Nothing, sweetie,” Telia said, keeping up her display of smooth confidence, just as she had been taught to when dealing with such a situation, “These things have a way of sorting themselves out,” she gave the blushing pup a wink, and saw him briefly smile in embarrassment, “Just relax for now, time is on our side.”
“Oh… okay…” Matt said, seemingly in better spirits, and tried to stand, getting uncomfortably used to being dressed in nothing but his crinkling, absorbent, presently soggy undergarments, “C-can I have some clothes or something?” He asked, putting his fears out of his mind, “I don’t like being seen in just… this,” no amount of effort could keep the blush off his face as he gestured towards his wet diaper, having only just been changed a half hour earlier.
“Matt, are you wet already?” Telia said with a giggle, reaching over and poking his belly, “Sheesh, you are a mushy bottom and no mistake. How did you ever get along without those?” 
Stewing a bit from the teasing, Matt flushed pink in the face and looked away, tail drooping, “I could get up and go to the bathroom…” 
“Hush, puppy,” Telia said with a chuckle, and patted the reluctant pup’s backside, “Well, at least you’re not messy… presently.”
“Hmph!” Matt pouted, actually crossing his arms in embarrassment at the implication, “I’m perfectly potty-trained, but how do you expect me not to use these when you won’t let me use the pott- err, bathroom!”
“Oh, don’t get your fur all fluffed up, huffy,” Telia said, taking her reluctant pup by the paw and leading him to the toy chest in the corner, “If you’re that desperate to hide your mushy little pampers, I’ll go get you some clothes. Now will you please play already? The other cubs would faint if they found out you like to spend playtime pouting.”
“Pouting… I’ll show you pouting,” Matt grumbled as his caretaker left with a giggle, giving him yet another playful swat on the hindquarters as she did, then got down on his hands and knees, earlier concerns forgotten, and opened the toy box. Inside, as might have been expected, was a wide collection of colorful children’s toys, ranging in complexity from letter blocks and dominoes to plastic trucks and food sets. Choosing the least humiliating of them, Matt picked out the toy trucks and started pushing them back and forth on the carpeted floor of his pen, the enlarged toddler fence as impregnable to him as iron bars. 
A few minutes past in boredom. Matt, used to the immediate excitement and entertainment of on-demand film, television, video games and the Internet, which had occupied him most days while Talikin worked, found very little to do other than pathetically push the little trucks back and forth… back and forth. Frustration built and, teeth clenched, Matt was nearly ready to throw the toy across the room, but stopped, took a deep breath, and let the moment past. 
“Well, I see someone’s learning restraint,” Telia said, shocking Matt to the point that he jumped, casting around before finding his caretaker casually coming around the corner of the room with a grin on her face. “For a second I thought you were going to smash a window or something.”
“This is so boring!” Matt complained, going back to pouting, “I don’t know how kids have fun with this stuff, let alone adults!” 
“It’s called imagination, puppy,” Telia said, opening the gate and coming into the pen, a bundle of clothing under her free arm, “Maybe once you’ve grown up a bit you’ll learn to enjoy play-time, eh?” 
Shut up, Matt thought, ears going flat, and had to clench his jaw to keep from saying it out loud. Telia unrolled the bundle of clothing, Matt wasn’t surprised to find a pair of denim overalls and bright red T-shirt with some cartoon character or other on it. He raised an eyebrow, “What, do I get a straw hat, too?”
“Don’t tempt me,” Telia said, and tossed the shepard’s dropped pacifier into his lap, “that belongs in your mouth, since you can’t seem to keep quiet otherwise.”
“Hmph…” Matt pouted, but, retreating from the tirgress’s glare, picked it up and popped it into the front of his maw. He even suckled a bit, which he had discovered the previous night calmed him greatly. 
“Good boy,” Telia said, giving him a scratch behind the ears, “now stand up and step into these. No fussing.” 
Matt blushed a bit, but was at least happy that he had graduated from baby clothes to toddler clothes, even if the overalls reinforced his status as a child. Worse yet, he couldn’t help but notice the button-up crotch flap for diaper changes, and felt his cheeks grow hot yet again. “Canth I haff somefing leff… babyith?” 
“No,” Telia said, holding out the overalls for him to step into, and gave her charge a glare when he might have rebelled. In the end Matt just grumbled, his almost permanent blush deepening across his face, and allowed himself to be coerced into the T-shirt and overalls, which the tigress tightened snuggly around his waist and over his shoulders. They even had a denim underarm strap which snapped into the centerpiece at the back, and, to Matt’s dismay, clicked as Telia played with it, apparently lockable. 
“Ith that rewawy nethethary?” Matt complained, tugging at the straps of his childish outfit and realizing it was practically skintight - inescapable. 
“Sorry puppy,” Telia said, scratching behind his ears, “rules are rules. Besides, what’s a little embarrassment if it keeps you honest? Especially after that little ill fated escapade last night?” 
“I’m nah gonna run awound bare butt…” Matt grumbled, and had to surrender his pouty pose as Telia insisted on adding a cord to attach his pacifier to a loop on the front of his overalls. Telia left Matt another twenty minutes in the play-pen, casually reading a magazine and watching the pup go from one toy to the next… to the next… to the next… and found no entertainment to be had. When the toys failed to occupy him, Matt crawled back to his corner of the pen and curled back up, but the tigress wasn’t about to let him fall into another pit if she could help it. 
“Alright, I don’t think play-time’s going anywhere,” Telia said, coming back into the living room with a shrug, and taking the cornered puppy by surprise. “What you need is some fresh air. How’s that sound?”
“W-what…?” Matt said, having spat out his pacifier from discomfort, eyes going wide as he realized what she meant, “Y-you mean outside?!”
“No, I meant the private gardens,” Telia said with a giggle, “Of course I mean outside. Or is puppy feeling shy?”
“I-I am not!” Matt said, standing back up in his typically childish bow-legged pose, “But I don’t want people to see me… like this!” he gestured at his overalls and cartoonish red T-shirt, not to mention the pacifier and obvious diaper bulge, only realizing belatedly that he had just defined shy.
“What, afraid the other cubs will make fun of you?” Telia said, gently picking up Matt’s pacifier from where it hung and pushing it back into his mouth, and saw the actual fear in his eyes that the threat of public exposure had posed. “Sweetie,” Telia continued, feeling her puppy tremble under her paw, “I thought this was already obvious, but this entire community is owned by my organization. These other houses? They’re full of pairs just like you and me. It’s private property. No outsiders allowed. There's even a giant gate. Trust me, puppy, you’re perfectly safe. You wouldn't be here otherwise”
“Buh… I dun wanna go…” Matt babbled, some part of him dreadfully unable to come to grips with the idea about being seen as a child, whether in public or private. It just seemed so... wrong! His mind was rebelling against the treatment, squirming and fighting against his new role in life, even the part of him that was gradually getting used to it. "Please..."
"Oh, Matt...." Telia said, watching the pathetically desperate little pup sink, ears going flat, tail twitching between his legs, and giving her the most vulnerable, pitiful puppy dog eyes she had ever seen. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, "it's okay, puppy... I know how you must feel. I won't take you outside until you're ready..."
"R-really...?" Matt said, looking up into her eyes, trembling in his deep emotional instability.
"Cross my heart," his caretaker said, and would have done the traditional gesture, but only hugged him tighter. Eventually Matt let go, and went to sit on one of the plastic fisher-pryce chairs that had been set up around the enlarged toddler table in the corner of his pen while Telia stood and watched, somewhat emotional herself after the long, and psychologically stressful day. "Are you hungry, sweetie?" Telia asked, walking over and squeezing his shoulder comfortingly. He shook his head, slumping a bit more. "Then what's wrong?"
"Lonely..." Matt murmured, barely audible, and Telia knew all too well the pain he was feeling. 
"I understand that pain, believe it or not," the tigress said, taking the seat across from him, "I was in a similar boat to you, once upon a time." Matt looked up at her, still not in his best mood, but at least ready to be comforted, since that's what she was clearly offering. "If I gave you my life story we'd be here all day, but suffice to say that my parents weren't the best, and I'd convinced myself that I didn't need anyone else but me. I could get along on my own forever," then she blushed, looking aside and smiling a bit, "well, that wasn't true at all. Sometimes a friend can make all the difference in the world... How would you like to make some?"
"Wha...? New fwiends...?" Matt said, having returned his pacifier to between his lips for what little comfort it provided, and seemed almost surprised by the idea.
"Mhm!" Telia said with a nod and a grin, "I could arrange a playdate for this afternoon, or I could take you for a stroll down to the park and you could play with the other cubs there." 
"Wait, you mean... others like me...?" Matt said, mouth hanging open, "How many are there...?"
"In the capital?" Telia said, briefly hesitating about revealing such sensitive information, but then decided to honor their earlier promise, "It hoovers at around five thousand at any one time, but we have chapters in most of the bigger cities." 
Matt's pacifier literally fell out of his mouth, "Five thousand... How do you get away with this shit...?"
"Language, puppy," Telia said, catching him off guard with a stern glare, "that's strike one. Get to three, and you get to enjoy being muzzled for a day. Now, ask again politely."
"Oh, erm..." Matt grumbled, abashed at the sudden scolding, "How does nobody know about this stuff... who pays for it? The government?" 
Telia snickered a bit, leaning forward over the table, "We have... holdings in a number of companies. Some we own outright, others we have a majority stake in... it's complicated. We keep things very quiet and split up, and, as you can see... we take security quite seriously."
"S-so nobody's ever escaped?" Matt asked, seemingly anxious about the answer to that question.
"Eh," Telia said, shrugging, "There's been one or two incidents where cubs have run off before we could get through to them, I won't bore you with the details, but as a rule... no, we've never had a successful runaway." 
The shepard didn't quite know how to respond to that, and only sat in silence for a few more minutes, "So... this park..." Telia perked up at the curious wobble in his voice, and looked at him, "there's other... cubs? Adults like me there?"
"I imagine so," Telia said with a grin, "It's a beautiful day, and you brats tend to be social creatures." Matt blushed again, but replied how Telia had hoped.
"I... I guess I'd like to get some fresh air... if that's okay?" The shepard was practically quivering with mingled anxiety, embarrassment and curiosity, but Telia only smiled in confidence.
"You won't regret it, sweetie. Come on, it’s only a few minutes away. Do you want a fresh diaper before we go?"