The person i am around my friends. That is not the true me. for those who have seen the real me have shunned me and abanoned me to die alone in the dark. The way i laugh, the way i cry, the way i talk. this is not me. i know not who i am, but only what i am. I am a monster trying to hide her true form to try and live a normal life. I laugh with the guys but they cant see through me. I joke with them, i play games with them.... and for what to hide the real me? Why must i be afriad of the darkness in my heart and hide my true self? My heart was once pure, once whole... though you guys try to peice me together, i can never find peace or happiness.... only more pain and dispair from placing my burden upon the ones closest to me.

The person i am in public. that is not the true me. for if i were seen as i am in public i am a monster unfit to walk among the common mortal.  I would be outcast if i were to be seen and judged upon what i am. 

The few things i know about who i am are these, the real me yearns to be loved, the real me begs for a friend she can rely on, the real me wants to be accepts as she is, the real me wants to help others in a way she cannot help herself. The real me is a loving, gentle, nurturing, and giving being. But if she is seen she is seen as a monster with alternate goals, seen as a selfish person, seen as a freak among people, seen as a weak and pathetic person who cannot care for herself only others. 

If she is seen she is taken advantage of, so who i seem to be around others is the mask she wears to protect herself from the world. Though when she does remove her mask her inner beauty radiates but those who see it cannot bare to look at her for very long, they see that they cannot shine as she does and  shun her for it. leaving her in the darkness. When others try to pull her out of the darkness, she sinks further in, she cannot stand to burden anyone close to her. 

I am an outcast. I am a monster. I am a human being. I am a person. I am me.....I am a proud furry.