Bowser let out a contented sigh. The past couple weeks had been stressful for the king, but today was his monthly “spa day,” the one day could take a well-deserved break. Unfortunately, when he arrived at his favorite spa location earlier in the day, he discovered that it was unexpectedly closed. Despite the inconvenience, Bowser came up with a suitable alternative: a relaxing walk! Bowser entered the wilds surrounding his castle and was now enjoying his alone time out in nature.

He was whistling a tune when he suddenly stepped in something squishy. He looked down to find that he had stumbled upon a large mud puddle. Bowser attempted to lift his foot out of the mud, meeting a surprising amount of resistance from the sticky mud. Finally, he popped his foot out of the mud with a satisfying slurping sound. Hey, that actually felt pretty good!
Bowser suddenly had a brilliant idea. Maybe he could have a mud bath, just like the ones he usually had at the spa! Sure, this mud was a bit thicker than the kind he was used to, but the principle was the same, right? What could go wrong? Bowser grinned as he started to step into the puddle.

“Ugh, why are we out here again?” The green-shelled koopa complained as he trudged through the thick forest underbrush.

“Because,” his red-shelled companion replied from up ahead, “King Bowser said that when he gets back from his spa day, he’s going to want fresh berries. So we’ve gotta find some.”

The two koopas were walking along a marshy swamp not too far from the castle. It was not a particularly pleasant place–the buzzing mosquitoes, muggy heat, and warm, sticky mud puddles made sure of that. Unfortunately, it was also the prime location to find Bowser’s preferred berries, much to the annoyance of the subjects who were sent to retrieve them.

Green groaned as he swatted a mosquito off his arm. “It’s so unfair. Why does he get to have a spa day while we’re stuck with the dirty work? I could really use a spa day myself, you know. My back’s been feeling so stiff. See?” He knocked twice on his shell to emphasize the joke.

“Uh-huh,” Red muttered vaguely, only half-listening. He was preoccupied scanning the bushes for berries. 

Green frowned. Couldn’t Red lighten up a little? Not one to be ignored, Green stepped over to a nearby mud puddle and scooped some up in his claws. He started lathering the thick, viscous goop over his arm as he called after Red, “Hey, check it out! Homemade mud bath! We can have a spa day after all, eh?”

Red turned around in alarm, his eyes wide. “Woah, woah, woah, are you crazy? Knock that off!” He rushed over to Green and slapped the remaining mud out of his hand. 

“Ow, what was that for?” Green pouted. “It was just a joke! What’s the harm in that?”

“Don’t you know anything?” Red asked aggressively. He pointed at the puddle they were standing next to. “That stuff is CLAY mud. It’s wet when it’s in a big puddle like that, but if it’s spread too thin it’ll harden in an instant.” He snapped his fingers to punctuate the point. “I mean, just look at your arm!”

Green glanced down at where he had spread the mud, and sure enough, it had already set completely, trapping his arm in a solidified cast. He started to shake his arm frantically. “Ack, I can’t even bend my elbow! Can we find some water to wash it off?”

Red shook his head, annoyed. “You’d need a chisel at this point. That stuff is like concrete when it dries. Don’t worry, we can get it off when we get back to the castle. Just quit goofing off, and be careful not to touch any more clay mud.”

Green nodded, and the two koopas continued on their way. Red rolled his eyes at his partner’s incompetence. “Honestly,” he thought, “how stupid do you have to be to use clay mud as an exfoliant?”

The koopas were walking in silence, keeping their eyes peeled for berries, when Green suddenly exclaimed “Hey, what’s that up ahead?”

Red looked ahead. They appeared to be approaching a clearing with a pond-sized puddle of clay mud and some mysterious tan figure. As they got closer, the shape of the figure started to look familiar. In fact, it almost looked like…

“King Bowser?” Red marveled out loud. For some inexplicable reason, there was a life-sized clay sculpture of Bowser sitting at the mud’s edge.

“Woah!” Green bounded ahead to get a closer look while Red continued to approach with confused caution. 

“Who built this? And why would they put it here?” Red asked suspiciously. 

“I don’t know, but it’s really detailed! Even the eyes have that signature Bowser fury,” Green observed.

Red averted his gaze from the statue’s face, having been conditioned not to stare his king in the eyes. “Hey, show some respect! We should just go, this isn’t what we’re here for.”

Green didn’t listen, and instead continued to walk around the statue, admiring it from all angles. “Wow, look at how they sculpted the hand on his chin, as though he’s contemplating something. What do you think he’s thinking about?”

Bowser was thinking about how he was going to kill these two koopas. How could they be so blind and stupid? How could they not recognize their own king sitting right in front of them? 

Despite his anger, Bowser knew that this was ultimately his own fault. He shouldn’t have submerged himself so completely in that unfamiliar mud, and he shouldn’t have started sitting in the sun before he had washed himself off. Before he knew it, he was encased in the clay, totally unable to move. He wanted to struggle in his prison, but he couldn’t so much as twitch a finger. All he could do was wait and hope that help would come. 

Now, two koopas HAD come, but it remained to be seen whether they could be classified as “help.” The green one with the stiff arm just kept treating him like a sculpture, moving around him too fast to register any of the indications that he was the real deal! The red one looked brighter and more focused, but he was hardly looking at Bowser, and so couldn’t notice his pleading stare.

“Do you think we should bring it back to the castle?” asked Green. Bowser wanted to shout “YES,” but with his mouth caked with clay, all he could muster were some inaudible grunts. 

“No,” Red replied, “I don’t think Bowser would appreciate us bringing back some dirty hunk of clay we fund in the woods. Besides, it’s probably here for a good reason. Come on, let’s go.”

Green took one last look into the sculpture’s eyes. Bowser stared back with desperation. Green squinted, and then…“Coming!” He scampered off to join his friend.

Bowser was beyond frustrated. He wanted to scream at these idiots! They couldn’t just leave him here like this! “HMN, GMT BHGG HMRM,” he shouted through his sealed lips in a last-ditch attempt to capture their attention, but they were already out of earshot. Bowser grumbled angrily. He tried for the umpteenth time to crack the clay that held him fast, but it was useless. Looks like he might be getting more relaxation time than he bargained for...