Events in this life have all led to this,
Instead of the abyss, it’s just living torment.
The demons inside wail at the thought of another day,
I cry and I pray for a different antecedent.

I can’t help but question, I can’t help but ask;
Who would I have been if I’d hidden a little longer?
Would I have been happier instead of just “stronger?”
Would I still have held myself back from my truth,
And just spent my youth hoping this facade would keep you satisfied.
I tried.
I lied.

Loving and lost is said to be the ideal,
But losing it over this? Was it even real?
Your words claimed to care but your actions scream shame,
I know I’m to blame, keep shunning my name.

Spit at my feet and claim I do that to your god,
I’ve always been a fraud, but just to keep your peace.
I prayed for release, said if this is so wrong
Then take my breath away, what’s taking so Damn long?!
I never thought I’d make it this far,
But when I look back…

I can’t help but question, I can’t help but ask;
Who would I have been if I’d hidden a little longer?
Would I have been happier instead of just “stronger?”
Would I still have held myself back from my truth,
And just spent my youth hoping this facade would keep you satisfied.
I tried.
I lied.