"Healiloquy"

My life force is used to fuel a simple thrill
Soft lashes on my back until tears can no longer be spilled
Greeted by fake smiles and false promises
Lead down dead ends because of how broken my compass is
Turning a blind eye to foul play like a shady referee
Getting my heart kicked in the ass for a brief happy memory
Before I'm tossed away for not being ambitious
Another failure like this will reform me into a being that's vicious believing true connections are superstitious
No, my love is enough, just wasted on vile individuals
Time to go on strike to get my love bomb residuals
Fear won't make me give up hope until I find my true purpose
Must halt people from bingeing on my lust like a streaming service
The odds are against me but that won't stop me from rejuvenating my soul
Gotta let go of the quest to find another who can make me feel whole
Been taking lethal hits to the chest since the days of The Furry Mixtape
They fail to see that I'm meant to be endgame and only use me as an escape
Time is a precious currency that cannot be reimbursed
Learned the hard way that I must come first and not let others downplay my worth
It's impossible to catch red flags through rose tinted sunglasses
This right here is a soliloquy for the affection starved wounded masses
Lonely whispers of the world let me remind that you all matter
Our hardships become less sadder when supporting one another in a place where we can all gather
We all deserve to heal regardless if our abusers provide us with a penance
Our lives will continue on embracing positive vibes while banishing our toxic rent free tenants, I say to them, good riddance