[color=gold][b][u]Striking Gold[/u][/b][/color] ---------- [b]Super C:[/b] [i](narrating)[/i] Hello. Super C here again. At this time, I don't have any plans to find any more wrestling G-52s because I am 1) looking for more international diversity, and 2) waiting for the right time to clear more recruits off my USA Waiting List, all of whom will join X.B. (Extreme Bengal) in forming the G-52 subgroup known as the "Comic Book All-Stars." This is due to the special contest we mentioned, where the winning candidates were guaranteed to have themselves star in a comic book series as the main superhero, while the losers got to cameo as additional side characters. Many of the losers had alternate ideas, however, and ended up having those ideas published anyways, because the panel of judges representing DC Comics, Marvel Comics, and JJ Comics appreciated what they saw and heard. (JJ Comics, incidentally, is the comic book company founded by the Jaguar of Justice.) I think we have enough wrestlers as it is, but we focus on the latest of those wrestlers to join the ranks of the G-52s, and he represents Canada, just as Levi the Mountee Lion and the others do. [b]Goldduster:[/b] [i](narrating)[/i] Hello. While my real name is Warrick J. Patterson, those in the wrestling industry know me as Goldduster (also spelled "Gold Duster," but I tend to spell it as one word). There are two important things to remember about me: 1) I was a timberwolf the whole time instead of being a human at first, and 2) I started out as a heel before becoming a face. (Ultimate Destroyer, Patriotic Pounder, Takedown Tiger, and Beatdown Bobcat are the four that were humans to start with, but sadly lost it to CNG. As for the heel-face turns, Ultimate Destroyer and the Dog of Doom also started out as heels, but made the face turn in conjunction with their inductions to the G-52 organization.) Similar to the Dog of Doom, I kept the same name to make it easier for the audience to identify me. (Why he took a ton of heat for that is beyond my comprehension.) Unlike the Dog of Doom, I represent Canada. (He and Beatdown Bobcat represent Australia, while Ultimate Destroyer and Patriotic Pounder represent the USA, and Luchador Lion represents Mexico. Although Takedown Tiger is looking at becoming a naturalized U.S. citizen, he still represents the United Kingdom, and all the British networks who want to do so broadcast all matches he participates in.) Given the nature of wrestling, it is important to learn how to distinguish what is legitimate (what really happens in our real world) versus what is kayfabe (which is portrayed as "real" or "true" even though it is fabricated), so here's how I tell my story. The real me comes from a family of timberwolves that have a history of playing sports, from ice hockey to soccer, and a little bit of baseball, too. My dad was actually a wrestling manager (though he was never my manager, of course). The fact I started wrestling myself was primarily because the WWE wanted to keep a balance between heels and faces, and I said yes upon Dad's recommendation. Unfortunately, I got cast as a heel. This is my kayfabe story as a result: the fact my name is Goldduster is a reference to how the original costume I wore (at least when making the grand entrance with music and pyrotechnics) resembled a forty-niner from the California Gold Rush of 1849. It was intended to pay homage to my ancestors who left Canada for the U.S. to attempt to capitalize on the gold rush, but all they found was dust, so they returned home in the end. Note that the WWE hired my real parents to play the roles of my fictional parents (again to make it easier for all of us), and so their story is that they were framed for a crime they didn't commit (although it was never made clear as to what the misdemeanor was), and as a result, they fled Canada and decided to stay in the U.S., even though they abandoned me as a pup. (If your parents did that to you, you'd be as bitter as I was.) They developed a strange obsession with the California Gold Rush of 1849 as well, but there was no explanation to that (although it does explain my wrestling name). Around the time I wanted to retire as a result of a match I lost to the original Captain Beatdown (real name Jimmy Plumes; Bobby Winston wrestles as the current Captain Beatdown, which doubles as an alternate codename for Beatdown Bobcat), my parents disappeared, never to return. (This was when they were framed.) Note that the fact I wanted to retire wasn't because I lost, but because it resulted in a back injury that led Captain Beatdown to retire for good. (I did apologize to him, and he forgave me; in hindsight, he says he feels he should have called it quits earlier due to a previous back injury, which came from a match against one of several bloodhounds known as the "Hound Pound." Their feud with the Dog of Doom stemmed from him refusing to join them or change his wrestling name after his heel-face turn.) I felt so bad, I took a hiatus from wrestling, but Captain Beatdown was very kind and encouraged me to keep at it. The storylines explained that I was looking for my missing parents, because I wanted to know why they abandoned me. I lost all contact, and did not even know whether or not they were still alive. Eventually I came across a pair of wolves I thought were them, but they were dead. (The murderers thought they were somebody else.) Then I turned around to find the police introducing me to my real parents, confusing me. As it turns out, the dead wolves were relatives we did not even know existed, which is why Mom and Dad had inherited a ton of money without knowing why. They opted to stay in the U.S., but did apologize to me for abandoning me, and we reconciled. I then vowed to avenge the deaths of my relatives, which is what led me to make a heel-face turn. During this time, the real me had traveled to Mexico in order to get myself back into shape to keep wrestling, and as a result, I met Luchador Lion for the first time. He helped me learn the ways of lucha libre, the Mexican style of pro wrestling, which tends to be more quick and agile, relying on more aerial maneuvers. I come closer to the American style, which relies on strength and power. I still had a go at lucha libre, and I found myself fascinated with the masks in particular. (Luchador Lion not only educates us on how our forms of pro wrestling have their roots in lucha libre, but believes that ideas of superheroes, supervillains, and how they traditionally keep their real identities a secret, also might have originated from the forms of lucha libre, given their reputation for wearing masks.) I wanted a superhero theme for my new persona, but the traditional masks superheroes wear (including Super C and Cripto) weren't working out for me. Thus, I wear a luchador-style mask instead, even though everybody can still tell I am a wolf. (The mask is a red mask with golden outlines along the eyes and mouth, and the maple leaf of our flag is in white, placed on the forehead.) This is a long journal entry, so stay with us, folks. The bulk of it focuses on my induction, but we'll show you some other highlights, too. [b]Leo the Patriotic Lion:[/b] [i](narrating)[/i] Included in those highlights is the fact that Donald Trump's sense of humor, crude as it was, offended my parallels so much, those serving as ambassador to the U.S. quit and requested they be transferred to Japan or other countries. (Leonhard the Mighty Lion, my Icelandic counterpart, is one such parallel.) IC3 used this as an excuse to make the public think they had sinned against God and couldn't be forgiven because they chose Trump, not me, in the 2024 elections. Why? Had I been in the White House still, this wouldn't have happened, and these crazy tariffs wouldn't have happened. I guess you can be the judge of that. Thankfully, we found replacements, most of whom had come from the planet Leonine originally, but all of which were going to continue to hold Trump to a very high standard, probably higher than all the rest of the world's leaders put together. Again, you be the judge as to whether or not that was the right move for them. Anyways, on with the show. ----------- ------------ ---------- *Later, we are back in Wildcat City for Goldduster's G-52 tests. All the Canadian heroes are present.* ----------- *Wildcat City, KS, USA* [b]Rainier:[/b] Ah; sweet! I get to see my country's first wrestling-themed G-52 in this! He's going to do great if he has experience training with Mexico's luchadores! [b]Kirk:[/b] One of the first tests is the maturity test, in which he has to look through a list of what appears to be place names and acronyms without laughing. [b]Rainier:[/b] That's the easy part! The hard part is the simulations that would push his abilities to the absolute limits as well as his mental and physical agilities. It's not just about superpowers after all. Super C! I think Goldduster is ready! Goldduster, you got this! We believe in you! -------------------- *Tokyo, Japan* *Several countries that had Leo's parallels serve as ambassadors to America have transferred them to Japan. Along with Leonhard, among the parallels that are ambassadors to Japan is Liwei the Red Lion from Singapore. The embassies with the lions have local tigers performing on their taiko drums to welcome the lions.* [b]Liwei:[/b] This is the life here! [b]Neon Blade:[/b] Welcome to Japan! Don't forget about the Expo in Osaka. [b]Liwei:[/b] Oh, I will be there for sure! ------------------ *Western Republic of Ireland* [b]Gen. Madden:[/b] *He holds a press conference.* Let's talk about Liam the Celtic Lion being the Eastern Republic of Ireland's ambassador to London. Liam belongs there for that role, so that he is close to the Irish people as much as possible. Liam is the bridge between Ireland and Britain to connect with the Irish, especially those living in Britain. He is needed in London more than in Tokyo, because I understand his connections to us Irish, but more importantly is the goal of Irish reunification, but keeping out foreign bad elements, be it cults like Mormonism, or globalist leftist ideology that threatens our cultural way of life. This is a much more important topic than the Alliance of Sahel States, and I would appreciate it if you would not bring up its unintended acronym, especially Donald Trump! It is extremely immature, and his tariffs will isolate America more. In fact, let Trump do his tariffs; the world can take care of each other on its own! Trump may argue that his tariffs would encourage companies to build factories in his country to hire Americans to make products for them than letting countries export to America. I get that, but you know what? Just let Donald Trump do whatever he wants, since he has already stated that he will not send American troops to Ireland, nor involve them in our disputes with the United Kingdom. I won't tell the Alliance of Sahel States what to do, but we do business with them because we have common interests, especially in stopping the GSAF and ISIS. More importantly in exchange of us supporting them, they let us interact with their Christian communities regardless of sects. Yes, most of their Christians are Catholic because the country that colonized them, which was France, is a predominantly Catholic country. They still have their cathedrals as well. We have sent out our chaplains and missionaries to support their charity and community works, because let's face it: Mali, Niger, and Burkina Faso are under martial law. Their people have suffered from ISIS. So, we just want to help. Now as for whatever they do with other countries, that's on them, and I have told them to not do that, but it's up to them if they will heed my suggestions or not. But right now, I'd rather focus on my peace talks in Irish reunification and preserving our culture. *People continue to send complains to the Irish governments (both Eastern and Western) demanding an explanation as to why the prisons are too incompetent to just throw the AIRAF in prison forever and keep them there.* --------------- *Malmö, Sweden* *Elias catches a small group of GSAF terrorists vandalizing a Tesla store with orange paint. They suddenly stop when they see the dragon.* [b]Elias:[/b] Hey., guys! [b]GSAF Terrorist 1:[/b] Uhm... Hi? [b]GSAF Terrorist 2:[/b] We were just testing some uhm... Water soluble paint. [b]GSAF Terrorist 3:[/b] Yeah. I have a water tank here with a hose and sprayer. [b]Elias:[/b] Mmmm-hmm,. I wasn't expecting you guys to show up in Sweden, because I'm the only one who can save your lives from a certain lion. You should be lucky that you saw me first otherwise, let's just say there's nothing in this world that could stop him. [b]GSAF Terrorist 3:[/b] Wait... So you're in his way? [b]Elias:[/b] Mmmm-hmmm... He's also the same lion that took out one of your generals in that wrestling match, and he wasn't using any of his weapons. He even took off half of his armor off before wrestling him. [b]GSAF Terrorist 2:[/b] Oh... *The terrorists quickly clean up the orange water-soluble paint by spraying it down and quickly cleaning up the mess with cleaning equipment before scampering off as quickly as possible, only to be intercepted by the police.* [b]Police 1:[/b] We saw the whole thing. It's too late. [b]Police 2:[/b] Vandalism is vandalism. [b]Police 3:[/b] *In Swedish* These guys are foreigners obviously. Let's immediately deport them after booking them for vandalism. *The police do so quickly before rounding the terrorists in their recall pods to send them back to wherever they came from.* [b]Police 4:[/b] *In Swedish* If Lennart was here, they would not have lived to tell others about what they saw from him. [b]Police 3:[/b] *In Swedish* This was way too close! [b]Gustav:[/b] *In Swedish* Hey Elias. You all right? [b]Elias:[/b] *In Swedish* Oh; I'm fine! Just caught a few foreign idiots doing stupid things and managed to save them from seeing Lennart. [b]Gustav:[/b] *In Swedish* Yeah; that was a close one! ---------- *Japan* [b]Leonhard:[/b] This is more civilized. I feel bad saying America disappointed me because they're supposed to be the gold standard of living. [b]Ryo the Samurai Lion:[/b] If Trump blows it, however, he'll answer to Leo. That should be enough to shock him into behaving without the need to impeach him or him stepping down. I hope. -------------- *Washington, D.C.* *Random Forsythians arrive, mostly lions from Leonine, as the new ambassadors to the U.S. They make it clear to Trump that his sense of humor is not to be tolerated when he's on the job. Trump agrees to quit making jokes and then sends Leo an apology via the G-52 app's texting.* -------------- *Sweden* *Lennart the Viking Lion doesn't arrive until after all the terrorists are gone. However, he knows what happened.* [b]Lennart:[/b] *in Swedish* Good going, Elias. You prevented them from being traumatized. You made up for not being able to convince that Jolson creep to change his tune. --------------- *WC, KS, USA* *Some other heroes are present, including Luchador Lion.* [b]Landon/R.R.:[/b] This is the best thing that's happened to Canada since Levi found his real talents. [b]Levi the Mountee Lion:[/b] I have to second you on that. [b]Super C:[/b] You lived in Mexico for a time, didn't you? [b]Goldduster:[/b] Sort of, but not really. In between my last match as a heel and my first one as a face, I did do some luchador training. It's why I have the luchador-style mask. I don't think I went up against you, though. [b]Luchador Lion:[/b] No, but you've certainly got the speed and agility to help you counter the strength and power, on top of the strength and power. Even though I lost to the Ultimate Destroyer, you saw how long it went before he got me. He plays physical. [b]Super C:[/b] He does. Please note, everybody, that because of his history, I am adding the Montreal Screwjob to the list of sensitive topics, so if the context is not appropriate, do not bring it up. This doesn't count, though. [b]Dark Wolf:[/b] Right, boss. [b]Snare Bear:[/b] I'd rather play my drum anyway. [b]Cripto:[/b] I didn't hear about the Montreal Screwjob of 1997 until just five days ago because I don't follow wrestling. [b]Goldduster:[/b] I don't like to talk about it because I was there when it happened. Long story short, though, Vince McMahon changed the script at the last minute without telling Bret Hart he was changing the script, just to teach him a lesson for not being willing to lose the belt in his native Canada. The match was originally planned to end in disqualification, causing Hart to retain the title, and then losing or forfeiting it at a later date. Instead, as the match approached the 20th minute (a standard length for a televised WWF title match), under McMahon's direction, referee Earl Hebner ended the contest, as Michaels held Hart in the sharpshooter submission hold (Hart's signature move); although Hart did not submit, Michaels was declared the winner by submission and became WWF Champion. [b]Cripto:[/b] And I thought you Canadians never got angry about anything. [b]Goldduster:[/b] People do stereotype us as being overly polite, but even we have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. [b]Levi:[/b] I can testify to that. [b]Samuel/C.C.:[/b] *in Scottish accent* As can all of us, laddie! [b]Goldduster:[/b] However, people were furious about that. What baffles me is why CNG didn't kill anybody. Canada is the one nation that never had a death from CNG, and is one of only six that never had an IC2 death. [b]Super C:[/b] I think that was just CNG being distracted. In the UK, Shawn Michaels beat British Bulldog, and the fans were so outraged they started trashing the ring, literally. CNG killed all those people for that. Anyways, read the list. *Goldduster looks at a piece of paper.* [b]Goldduster:[/b] Hmmm. Let's see what we have here. If the goal is to read this with a straight face and not laugh, it doesn't surprise me that Bangkok is on the list. And why is it called Poo Poo Point Trailhead? That's ridiculous! [b]Super C:[/b] Hey, listen. I'm not happy about it either. But a name is a name, and it's not changing. Leo's Thai parallel did actually campaign to get the name changed to something else; it didn't work. [b]Goldduster:[/b] I don't blame him. Because I used to be a heel wrestler, I can say that even evil has standards. Unless you're the GSAF, that is. Anyway, what else have you got? Lake Titicaca? Where is that? [b]Cripto:[/b] I think you find that in between Peru and Bolivia. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Sounds about right. I've never been outside North America. Geography also wasn't my strong point. *He continues to read the list without laughing, although sometimes he asks where it is located since geography was not a strong point for him.* ----------------- *Sweden* [b]Elias:[/b] *In Swedish* Yeah. Let's pretend none of this happened and just go on about our days. --------- *WC, KS, USA* [b]Rainier:[/b] You may notice a certain town in Canada that starts with a D, and I don't know who came up with that and why. As for Bangkok, luckily everybody in the world knows that city. Lek the Golden Lion is Leo's Thai parallel, but Weather Wolf, a Thai G-52, went against Lek's plans to rename Bangkok, because English is not the official language of Thailand, and therefore the country cannot make policies regarding the English language. [b]Kirk:[/b] Oh, Rainier? We don't talk about the town that starts with a D. Jimmy Kimmel did an episode about it. [b]Jack:[/b] Some places may have some names that seem like profanities at first. There was a town in Austria that began with an F and it drew so many immature tourists, the civilians had it renamed to Fugging to ward them off. Apparently GPS trackers in signs aren't enough to deter immature activities and sign theft. Lewenhart the Alpine Lion, Leo's Austrian parallel, was clearly not amused. ----------- [b]Super C:[/b] [i](narrating)[/i] Spoiler alert; CNG killed all those immature tourists. --------- [b]Zachary:[/b] They were real angry. So far, looks like Goldduster is taking things seriously. [b]Jack:[/b] I'm originally from Washington State, and even I don't know why they call it Poo Poo Point Trailhead. [b]Zachary:[/b] Man; if there's ever a G-52 from Niger, Mali, or Burkina Faso, all I can say is "good luck," and hope they have all the patience they have in the universe when the odds are stacked against them, as people like Trump obsesses over a certain acronym associated with those countries. Cheetah of Charity is from Chad, and I'm sure he's having a headache over the fact that Niger is his western neighbor. [b]Rainier:[/b] Much better than being Lenu the War Lion and Lakhdar the Maghreb Lion, since they lead Nigeria and Algeria, respectively, to clean up the mess from their own civil wars. [b]Zachary:[/b] It doesn't even help that the Alliance of Sahel States are sandwiched between those nations. The alliance claim that they're keeping their problems contained from spilling over into other countries; yet their goals are complete eradication of Islam in Africa through genocidal methods. [b]Jack:[/b] Yeah. Tchiani, Goïta, and Traoré are going to have a lot of explaining to do when they see God. I hope Gen. Madden wakes up to see what he has unleashed by supplying them with advanced weaponry, even though he claims the AIRAF and Sahel alliances together will stop ISIS and the GSAF. [b]Dominique:[/b] And there's a reason why you see more bad guys defecting to the good guys, such as myself. We don't want to be part of things that makes the problems worse. -------- *Washington, D.C., USA* [b]Trump's Advisor 1:[/b] Mr. President, you really need to get it together. Even Rainier Belrose is far more mature than you. [b]Trump's Advisor 2:[/b] There's people outside of America saying that they would trust Rainier on military topics more than you because Rainier is more concerned about the Sahel's agendas and developments than he is about their unintended acronym. [b]Trump's Advisor 3:[/b] Even Leo the Patriotic Lion takes Rainier more seriously than with you. Do you not realize how embarrassing that is, when the greatest lion in America puts more trust in a raccoon who led a banana-themed marching band over you all because you drove Leonhard away with your obsession with an acronym? [b]Trump:[/b] So? I'm just making deals here. Rainier can do what he wants as long he's not endangering his nation. He may be a hacker, but I make the deals. He doesn't even know about his government before Trudeau. Heck, he even admits that he will never be as good as Levi. Levi's shoes are too big for him to fill. Because in the end, Rainier is just finishing up where Levi left off. He's a young one, even for his rank as Lieutenant Colonel for the Canadian Air Force. He hasn't fully experienced the world like I have. He's just exploring the world because that's all he knows. Hackers are only good at exploring, and that's all Rainier will ever know. [b]Trump's Advisor 3:[/b] That raccoon can lead a marching band better than you ever will, and he's nothing like Corps Coon. [b]Trump:[/b] I feel bad for Corps Coon. But at least Mayor Barnes will make Philadelphia great again. Whether Corps Coon will return to Pennsylvania or not, that's on him. --------- *Japan* [b]Zax:[/b] At this point, just let Trump cook for now. As long he's not endangering the world into suffering, let him do what he wants. He appointed me to be his ambassador because you're the Prime Minister, so he sees connections between us. ------------ *Sweden* [b]Lennart:[/b] *in Swedish* Agreed. Meanwhile, it looks Canada added their own wrestler to the lineup. ---------- *Japan* [b]Ryo:[/b] Very true. He does know what he's doing in the job itself, but when he has moments like that, he's still going to lose the world's trust. --------- *WC, KS, USA* [b]Super C:[/b] What town is this? [b]Goldduster:[/b] I think he means Dildo. It's a town in Newfoundland, but it's also a forbidden object according to your Code of Conduct. I can only guess that's why Kimmel made so many jokes about it. [b]Super C:[/b] Then I am making that one a forbidden topic. Uh, the unbiblical object is the forbidden topic, but nobody can say the word out of context when talking about the town. *He jots down notes on a notepad.* [b]Goldduster:[/b] I promise you I'll be too busy wrestling, one way or another, to even think about these things. This also includes the town that had to change its name to Fugging. Why couldn't they just call it Georgetown, or something? [b]Super C:[/b] Or name it after any famous person? I think that is what I would have done. [b]Dark Wolf:[/b] By the way, what was your reaction to Levi having to be a circus clown? I ask because the circus representatives in the G-52s from your fellow nation are here. *Super C does not ding Dark Wolf with a demerit because this is actually part of the maturity test, done to see if Goldduster snaps or not. He doesn't.* [b]Goldduster:[/b] Thanks to that, they've become the most popular furry circus in the world. I felt that it was a bit excessive, but if the point was to teach you a lesson about using your brain before your mouth, a lesson Donald Trump has not learned, then I don't have a problem with it. I am a wolf, however, so I was ticked off on hearing the story about you and Drill Sergeant McNasty. [b]Levi:[/b] That was his name, believe it or not. I think he forgot that I was to be a circus clown, because after he made me do all those punishments, including scrubbing the floors with a toothbrush, he announced that I still did not meet his expectations, so he planned to crucify me the same way they crucified Jesus. That was when Cripto and the royal family of the kitten's world intervened. Both he and his brother, the ringmaster of the circus I would have gone to, were found to have broken magical cardinal law (whatever that is), so they got the death penalty, not me. His circus was shut down for good, and all of its performers and its musicians, vastly underpaid, defected to Circus Delights, and now they're comfortably well off. [b]Landon/R.R.:[/b] It's a good thing I come from a rich family. [b]Morty/T.T.:[/b] It is indeed; we were working for peanuts! [b]Goldduster:[/b] So you compensated for them? [b]Landon/R.R.:[/b] Yes, I did. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Well done, you! [b]Landon/R.R.:[/b] Thank you. [b]Samuel/C.C.:[/b] *in Scottish accent* Thank you very much indeed, laddie! Seems you clearly mastered the maturity test. I don't know. [b]Super C:[/b] I'm going to say he has. [b]Goldduster:[/b] And you can also be rest assured, Levi, that even with those flubs of yours, I still think you're the GOAT of Canadian Prime Ministers. [b]Levi:[/b] Yes; thank you so much. I am a believer in Jesus Christ, and so it made the island flub even more embarrassing. [b]Super C:[/b] How did you react to that one? [b]Goldduster:[/b] I think I was more angry at the coaches for cheating with the drones than I was with Levi blowing it out of proportion by sacrificing the island to you Americans for all eternity. On the plus side, he didn't give Hans Island to the Danes forever. [b]Levi:[/b] I think it's because I had forgotten Hans Island even existed; I was too caught up in the moment. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Congrats to you on making the U-turn, though. [b]Levi:[/b] Thank you. And thank you all for not giving up on me even in the times that I did blow it. Anyway, shall we go on, Chief? [b]Super C:[/b] I think so. *to Zachary, Rainier, et al* What do you reckon? Shall we have him enter the cube now? ---------- *Japan* [b]Zax:[/b] No wonder why the world puts more trust in Belrose than Trump because despite his silly antics, he knows better than to use such crass language, especially when talking about the Alliance of Sahel States. If I was one of those African military officers being part of that, Alliance of Sahel Nations would sound so much better but apparently they didn't think things through. Even if we suggest that name to them, they would argue over terminology and maybe alliteration. ------------ *WC, KS, USA* [b]Rainier:[/b] He's ready for the cube. Put him in! [b]Zachary:[/b] I say he is mature, so let's get him ready for the fun part. [b]Kirk:[/b] He kept a straight face, so put him there. [b]Dominique:[/b] I like to see what he's got now! He's mature enough so let's see some action! [b]Noel:[/b] He did well for the maturity test, so put him in the cube. [b]Courtney:[/b] He's ready! Put him through! -------- *Japan* [b]Ryo:[/b] They would indeed. However, that's on them. --------------- *WC, KS, USA* [b]Goldduster:[/b] Wait; what is the cube? [b]Super C:[/b] It's my special training simulator that employs virtual reality to test your skills in a real scenario. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Got it. Do these vary? [b]Super C:[/b] It does depending on what your superpowers are. You've got X-ray vision, super hearing, and super strength, which is appropriate because you're a wrestler. *The wolf steps inside.* [b]Super C:[/b] *to Rainier and the others* Well done to everybody on that one section of the maturity test. We'll continue to avoid talking about Levi's blunders for the most part, but the fact that it was mentioned was because I wanted to see how Goldduster would respond, as well as whether or not he'd start an argument. [b]Levi:[/b] Your strategy worked, Chief. It surprised me to hear he was more cross with the coaches than he was with me. That never happens! [b]Zachary:[/b] The cube can also select scenarios based on where the G-52 candidate is from. For example, Fire Fennec is from Algeria, where they suffered an extremely violent civil war last year that led to destruction everywhere. So the cube was set to simulate an environment where danger is present everywhere, and Fire Fennec had to focus on her skills for survival. She also qualified for an emergency exemption from training due to the situation of her country at the time, and Lakhdar's administration went out their way to find her to convince Super C to let her in as a G-52, but she turned down the exemption request so she can prove herself to Super C to be worthy of being a G-52. [b]Rainier:[/b] Sadly, even right now, the countries of the Alliance of Sahel States are one mistake away from making her angry, so we advised her to calm down. Why? Those countries have launched weapons into Algeria's airspace before to target mosques and ISIS terrorists in Libya. Niger did the same with the Republic of Chad, but luckily nobody was hurt. Yet it was bad enough that Chadian soldiers told the Cheetah of Charity to hide in the bomb shelters. When a soldier of a country tells a G-52 to hide in the bomb shelters, you know that's when things are going to get really ugly. ------- [b]Cheetah of Charity:[/b] [i](narrating in English)[/i] Sad, but true story. Let's all be thankful that the C.I.D.F. were on the case; they got rid of the missiles before anybody had time to think about it. ------ [b]Zachary:[/b] Those are extremely rare situations, but even I would be praying that the leaders of Mali, Nigeria, and Burkina Faso would think twice before taking their operations outside their own countries. [b]Courtney:[/b] Lakhdar and Lenu are leading countries that border them, and they're not too happy about their antics either. Lenu chewed out Tchiani for sending out drones and a missile into Chad, even though his intended target is ISIS. [b]Rainier:[/b] Lenu is right in his words, since if those weapons malfunction, they can hurt innocent lives. That can lead to wars, you know. [b]Dominique:[/b] All right, Goldduster! You ready for this? [b]Levi:[/b] I know the Drumbums living in those nations also chewed out those leaders, or at least just gave them a death glare. [b]Super C:[/b] They did. They promised me they would hold them accountable for what they did. [b]Goldduster:[/b] I am ready. And I'm not surprised at Fire Fennec turning down the exemption. I don't blame her for losing her temper. Anyway, go ahead. [b]Super C:[/b] Activate the cube! *Cripto pulls a lever to start the simulation, then types on a keyboard. It uses a combination of scenarios mixed into one; here, Goldduster experiences what a GSAF attack would look like in Canada, and has to crush his way through their tanks and tech. His goal is to find the virtual Rainier and get him to safety, so that he can free the virtual Levi from prison.* [b]Goldduster:[/b] Whoa; giant tanks! *He gets on the case.* [b]Cripto:[/b] *through microphone* Okay; the GSAF are being a distraction here, but they're attempting to take Rainier prisoner. Your objective: find him and get him to safety, so that he can get Levi out of prison. There's a time limit of 2 minutes, 30 seconds, for this first part. Go! *The clock starts ticking.* [b]Goldduster:[/b] Okay; here goes. *He picks up one tank and throws it into a pile or rubble that was a building the GSAF had demoed. The terrorist remains alive and is captured by the virtual C.I.D.F.* [b]Super C:[/b] *to the others* I was experimenting with combining past events here, so this is what would it look like if the false R.C.M.P. had imprisoned Levi at the same time that you, Dominique, were the big sumo wrestling werewolf. (I hope that never happens again; that traumatized so many of us.) The element of the GSAF holding Rainier hostage was just my own addition. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Time to give you a beatdown! *He uses his wrestling moves on the virtual GSAF until each one has to submit to him. The goal is to find which one of the tanks has the virtual Rainier inside.* [b]Samuel/C.C.:[/b] *to Dominque in Scottish accent* Looks like he's as strong as you, laddie! [b]Levi:[/b] Well, after that gold CNG made you a super strong wolf that's actually in shape. [b]Dominique:[/b] I think Goldduster is stronger, since he has wrestling experience with the luchadores. [b]Rainier:[/b] Me trapped in one of those GSAF tanks. That's going to be a challenge, unless Goldduster has super hearing or can listen well. [b]Virtual Rainier:[/b] So you got my weapons. Do you have a 3D printer for me wherever you're going to take me to? [b]Virtual GSAF Terrorist 1:[/b] Shut up, nerd! [b]Virtual Rainier:[/b] If you're going to take me prisoner, at least give me something to do. I hate being bored, you know. [b]Virtual GSAF Terrorist 2:[/b] You're incredibly annoying, and I heard you laugh your tail off over those photos! [b]Virtual GSAF Terrorist 3:[/b] You sang the song vocally and even did it in Canadian sign language! We know what you're communicating out there, even during your silent performances! [b]Virtual Rainier:[/b] I only learned that from a video, though, and I was doing that on livestream. [b]Virtual GSAF Terrorist 3:[/b] And we warned you that if you sing [i]Day-O[/i] one more time in any way, shape, or form, we will come after you! [b]Kirk:[/b] Free Rainier so he can free Levi. Come on, Goldduster; you got this! *Goldduster eventually finds the tank with the virtual Rainier inside it and literally rips it apart with his super strength. This frees the virtual Rainier, while the virtual terrorists gets launched into a fire hydrant, and it explodes and starts spraying him to death.* [b]Cripto:[/b] Well, that terrorist got sent to the showers. [b]Dark Wolf:[/b] It's about time he cleaned up his act! *Snare Bear pantomimes a rimshot on a drum set.* [b]Goldduster:[/b] *to the virtual Rainier* Are you okay? I'm here to help you bust Levi out of the slammer! *Another terrorist lunges at them, but the wolf grabs him first.* No, you don't! *He performs a pile driver on the terrorist.* [b]Super C:[/b] Oh; the dreaded pile driver! That's going to spell trouble for the skull! *to Rainier* He does have super hearing. That's essentially how he found the virtual you. [b]Cripto:[/b] *through microphone* 1 minute left! Find the prison Levi is in! [b]Goldduster:[/b] *to Virtual Rainier* Follow me! *The two head to the prison. Now the virtual Rainier can free the virtual Levi as the wolf continues to fight off invaders and security guards. This is represented by alarms in the prison going off once they get there in the end.* [b]Virtual Rainier:[/b] Just hold them off! Leave the rest to me! *He picks up an M4 assault rifle before pointing at a prison guard.* Just lead me to the control room and everybody lives! [b]Virtual Prison Guard 1:[/b] All right; all right! *He takes the virtual Rainier to the control room.* [b]Virtual Rainier:[/b] Levi is our Canadian parallel. He is the only one to save all of us and Canada. [b]Virtual Prison Guard 2:[/b] We'll do what you say! [b]Virtual Rainier:[/b] Every inmate here is a political prisoner because of Trudeau's stupid hate speech law! Levi was arrested for not agreeing with him! Trudeau doesn't care for your children's future since he's letting in all these wacky illegal immigrants from America bringing their ideology with them! If only you know what was being taught in our schools to our children, you'd change your mind and let me in! [b]Virtual Prison Guard 3:[/b] He's actually right. *The virtual prison guards let the virtual Rainier take control of the control room as he gets to work freeing the prisoners from their cells.* [b]Virtual Rainier:[/b] *To the prison guards.* You are now relieved of your duties. Go home to your family! *He finds the virtual Levi as the guards obey and leave.* Hey, Levi! Put these on! *He hands Levi his RCMP uniform, saber, and bugle.* We're assisting Goldduster in freeing Canada from Trudeau the Traitor! [b]Rainier:[/b] Okay; he's a heavy hitter for sure. We'll definitely need him if the GSAF brings out the big guns. *The virtual Levi puts his stuff on and follows Rainier out, eventually blowing the charge call on his bugle.* [b]Virtual Levi:[/b] CHARGE! *The other prisoners follow the trio out of the prison.* [b]Goldduster:[/b] Go this way; you'll be safe! [b]Levi:[/b] He's a natural all right. *Once everybody is out safely, the clock stops ticking. We can hear repeated E-flat bells as heard on game shows. Then Cripto's powers play a win cue from [i]Classic Concentration[/i].* [b]Goldduster:[/b] How did I do? [b]Cripto:[/b] *through microphone* You finished it with 9 seconds left on the clock. [b]Rainier:[/b] Excellent! What's next? [b]Zachary:[/b] I have an idea! Goldduster taking on a virtual Copycat in a wrestling ring! That means he'll be taking on a simulated supervillain to even push his skills even further. [b]Rainier:[/b] Pretty much letting Goldduster challenge himself. What do you think, Super C? [b]Zachary:[/b] Unless you have something else in mind. [b]Kirk:[/b] Of course, Copycat would be the choice of supervillain to simulate here. [b]Dominique:[/b] I mean, it's hard to find a better supervillain appropriate for simulations like this. [b]Super C:[/b] I was about to say, "Stop the cube." However, we'll try that. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Works for me. [b]Cripto:[/b] Copycat has gotten the best of me. I need to step my game up against him. Anyway, here goes. *He types some more. Goldduster now finds himself battling a virtual Copycat, although it starts out as a standard wrestling match, so naturally, the first thing he does is use an armbar move after the opening bell.* [b]Zachary:[/b] I forgot that there's a section where the G-52 candidate must complete a written portion of the test involving scenarios. [b]Virtual Copycat:[/b] I am strong as you are! I can hear my surrounding well, just as you can! I can see through anything like you can! I am you, and you'll never win against yourself! You can try, and all that does is just put on a good show here. So come on, Goldduster! Do your best and show me what you got! If anything, you're more likely to lose against yourself! [b]Rainier:[/b] You heard him! Show him what you really got against that copycat who only mocks originals! The OG always win! [b]Super C:[/b] There is, but we'll get to that later. [b]Goldduster:[/b] *to virtual Copycat* You may be able to copy me, but you're still headed for doomsday! *He grabs the virtual Copycat, puts him in a giant swing, and literally throws him out of the ring. The virtual referee begins counting to 20.* [b]Cripto:[/b] *through microphone* He may do the same thing to you, you realize. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Yes, but I can bounce back quicker than he can. [b]Virtual Copycat:[/b] Ow! Dang! How the heck did you do that? You nearly knocked the wind out of me there, buddy! *He catches his breath and runs to the ring, but the referee has already counted to 20, where he's only a few feet from the ring.* Nooooooooo! I was so close! *The bell rings repeatedly.* [b]Rainier:[/b] Wow; he makes it look easy! You can stop the cube and have him move on to the next section. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Except I wouldn't want to do harm to him. [b]Super C:[/b] No; you didn't do it on purpose. Anyway, stop the cube. *The simulation stops. Goldduster steps outside.* [b]Super C:[/b] Do you ever use that move in real life? [b]Goldduster:[/b] Only on heel wrestlers, and I throw them in such a way that they land on the mat, and not outside the ring. If I ever did throw somebody outside the ring, it was by accident. Yet they never get hurt for some reason. [b]Super C:[/b] Must have been a CNG/IC2 aftereffect. All you wrestlers can do what you do without injury or fatigue, including the pile driver, just as all musicians can play and march forever without injury or fatigue. It's why those Drumbums practice for hours at a time and sometimes forget what time it is. [b]Rainier:[/b] All right. I'm assuming Super C will administer the written portion of the test. That has to be the last one, because so far, Goldduster is flawless. Ready for the next one? [b]Kirk:[/b] So far, so good. He's got to be the one. [b]Super C:[/b] Yes, I will. ----------------- *later* *Super C shows Goldduster a piece of paper with written questions on it. Note that the question is written as it is because the Cat of Steel had trouble remembering the original scenario he thought of, which he had borrowed from a television show.* [b]Super C:[/b] No need to give me too much detail. [b]Goldduster:[/b] No problem. You got a clipboard? [b]Super C:[/b] Oh; yes. Here you go. *Super C hands him the clipboard with the paper on it.* [b]Question:[/b] [i]Suppose you're out walking about and you find yourself caught in a moral dilemma. There are bank robberies in progress, and there's also a girl being taken captive because her parents are not paying attention. How do you judge which one to go for first?[/i] *Goldduster writes down his answer with a pen.* [b]Goldduster's answer:[/b] [i]I'd go for the girl first. It's a shame her parents are not paying attention, but her life is in danger. The bank robbers only took the money out of the bank, assuming they didn't kill the tellers or security guards. Both of these situations are situations you rarely see in Canada, but that doesn't mean they've never occurred. You can't be in two places at once. Well, unless you're the Olson twins.[/i] [b]Rainier:[/b] All right. This should be good. [b]Kirk:[/b] Looks like he's done. [b]Rainier:[/b] Super C! Is he ready to be inducted as a G-52 yet? [b]Super C:[/b] Yes, he is. --------- [b]Super C:[/b] [i](narrating)[/i] In all the years the G-52s have existed, this was the first time we had a major blunder happen with a new recruit taking the oath. It was my fault for the most part, but I guess it was bound to happen at some point. All of us do leave the autopilot on without realizing it from time to time. [b]Goldduster:[/b] [i](narrating)[/i] In spite of the errors, the Commander knew what I really meant. I just with I had caught it myself. However, we got it fixed, as you'll see down below. ------- *Later, Goldduster is ready to take the oath. He does so.* [i]I, Warrick J. Patterson, am a G-52. My codename is Goldduster. I am a superhero. I am a fighter. I bleed red, white, and blue. As the newest inductee, I pledge myself to my community, My country, my soldiers, my civilians, And my flag. So help me if any obedience to my commanding officers Causes me to get in trouble with the law. So help me if any wrongs of my doings Force me to take on excommunication from this organization. Just as those before me, I will not run away from trouble. I will vow to fight for truth, justice, and the American way of life. For I am Goldduster, a G-52, tried and true.[/i] *Applause.* [b]Super C:[/b] Congratulations; you're a G-52 now! *He hands the wolf a badge.* [b]Super C:[/b] I'll send you a handbook in the mail. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Thank you. *The wolf gives the Cat of Steel his mailing address.* [b]Rainier:[/b] He's Canadian; he only bleeds red and white. [b]Zachary:[/b] Good catch! Sorry; accidents happen. *Everybody chuckles at the blunder.* [b]Kirk:[/b] Canadian way of life, not American. Can we try the G-52 oath again with Canadian modifications? [b]Goldduster:[/b] Oops. I must have accidentally done the American one. [b]Super C:[/b] We'll try again. However, I knew what you meant, so you're still inducted. Here we go; take 2. That was my bad also, I had the autopilot turned on; sorry about that. *Goldduster's second attempt goes as follows.* [i]I, Warrick J. Patterson, am a G-52. My codename is Goldduster. I am a superhero. I am a fighter. I bleed red and white. As the newest inductee, I pledge myself to my community, My country, my soldiers, my civilians, And my flag. So help me if any obedience to my commanding officers Causes me to get in trouble with the law. So help me if any wrongs of my doings Force me to take on excommunication from this organization. Just as those before me, I will not run away from trouble. I will vow to fight for truth, justice, and the Canadian way of life. For I am Goldduster, a G-52, tried and true.[/i] [b]Super C:[/b] There we go; that's much better. [b]Goldduster:[/b] You must have had Superman on your mind when you wrote the oath. Of course, you are SuperCat. [b]Super C:[/b] You could say that; Superman does indeed battle for truth, justice, and the American way. However, my intention was to modify the nationality and color choices depending on the recruit; Silent Cat, for instance, would say "Italian way," and his colors are therefore green, white, and red. [b]Goldduster:[/b] I see. And I do wish he'd stop freaking out over foreign foods. [b]Super C:[/b] I do, too, but that's a discussion for another day. At the same time, his freakout taught all of us just how judgmental and unforgiving the nation of Italy is towards foreign foods, pizza in particular. Again, this doesn't count. But I do forbid my recruits from freaking out and/or arguing over foods, pizza especially, because history has shown no two individuals can ever agree on pizza toppings. I should include food discussions as part of the maturity tests, come to think of it. However, you've shown your maturity levels already. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Understood. I'm not really a pizza eater because there's a specific diet we wrestlers have to follow to keep in shape. As a young puppy, I did like supreme pizza. You? [b]Levi:[/b] Me? I went for the ham and pineapple combination. [b]Landon/R.R.:[/b] Pepperoni for me, or if you want to use the slang term, pep pizza. Plus, we shred our pepperoni. I know I do. Do you Americans do that? [b]Cripto:[/b] No; I think we just slice it. *Nobody freaks out over the discussion. Everyone's maturity level passes the test. Cripto, however, looks at pictures of shredded pepperoni pizza using his communicator's hologram trick T2 updated.* [b]Cripto:[/b] Oh; I get it now. [b]Samuel/C.C.:[/b] *in Scottish accent* Now you see it, laddie! [b]Landon/R.R.:[/b] This is how we attempt to add more flavors and textures to the pizza. [b]Cripto:[/b] *to Goldduster* So you were a wolf the whole time, then? I should make a note of that. I'm the second-in-command; if something happens to the boss, then I'm in charge. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Let's hope nothing happens to our Commander then; he's too valuable to too many people. [b]Super C:[/b] Yes; thank you so much! [b]Goldduster:[/b] But yes, I was a wolf the whole time. Luchador Lion and the Dog of Doom were a lion and bloodhound the whole time, too. The other four (Beatdown Bobcat, Ultimate Destroyer, Takedown Tiger, and Patriotic Pounder) unfortunately had the experience of losing their humanity when CNG got to them. Otherwise, they'd never be my opponents. [b]Cripto:[/b] I meant to ask you about that. What made you decide to wear a luchador-style mask? [b]Goldduster:[/b] I wanted a superhero theme to my wrestling character, but traditional superhero masks like the ones you and the Commander wear weren't working out for me. I guess they didn't have them in the exact shade of red used in our flag. I don't know. However, my character's story is that I was left behind when my parents fled Canada and accidentally left me behind. I heard that somebody killed them, but they turned out to be alive, and two different relatives were killed instead, which is why they inherited a ton of cash and decided to stay. This is the excuse used for my heel-face turn; the real me came from a family that never left Canada, because they thought you Americans were too violent and too emotional for them. They apologize to you for that. [b]Super C:[/b] On behalf of the whole nation, I forgive your parents. I know cultural differences can come into play there. Americans have a history of valuing individuals over society as a whole; in Canada, it's the other way around. At least I thought it was. [b]Zachary:[/b] I heard the Italians hate ranch, so if you introduce Silent Cat to a bottle of ranch dressing, he's going to hiss at you for that. It doesn't even help the fact that we Americans dip the pizza crust in ranch, something people like Silent Cat would see as gross. [b]Jack:[/b] If he loses his mind over ranch, then we'll send him to the city where ranch originated, which would be Santa Barbara in California, which is a very nice city. The only downside to that is that the food he eats there will have ranch in it. [b]Zachary:[/b] Oh, that's going to be fun, especially when videos of his reactions to ranch will be posted online. [b]Shadow Hunter:[/b] To be fair, back in New York, buffalo wings are always consumed with blue cheese sauce. To suggest ranch would be seen as heresy by the locals there. [b]Rainier:[/b] Why is that? [b]Shadow Hunter:[/b] Buffalo wings are traditionally paired with blue cheese sauce because that was the original way before ranch came along. [b]Jill:[/b] I tend to forget that every pizza chain in America has ranch as dipping sauce for the crust for those who request them. No doubt Silent Cat would find that horrifying, even though that's something we've always done here in America. [b]Jack:[/b] Yeah, and I'm sure Leonardo would be extremely furious at Silent Cat if he loses his mind over ranch. [b]Zachary:[/b] I also forgot to mention that with Dutch G-52s, even though their flag is red, white, and blue, they can say they bleed orange as a reference to William of Orange. [b]Snare Bear:[/b] Green and gold if you're Australian. *Super C makes a note of that.* [b]Rainier:[/b] We Canadians invented Hawaiian pizza, and I love it! [b]Kirk:[/b] It makes pizza interesting. [b]Rainier:[/b] Looks like Silent Cat and I will be butting heads over pizza, then. [b]Jack:[/b] Like I said, if he does that, he will be punished for that. I told him if he screams about the way we do Italian food in America one more time, we're sending him to Chicago, and he is to eat our version of Italian food there. [b]Rainier:[/b] Likewise if he does the same with how we do Italian food in Canada, then he will spend a week in Canada eating our version of Italian food. Toronto has a good Italian food scene in Canada, so that would be his place to stay. [b]Jack:[/b] Wait, asides from the pepperoni pizza thing, is there really much of a difference between how we do Italian food? [b]Rainier:[/b] Somewhat. [b]Super C:[/b] Just do not push his buttons on purpose. I don't want him freaking out again, and I do not want any of you giving him reasons to freak out. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Especially after Leonardo lost his temper with Silent Cat. About 4 minutes after he did that, it was a trending topic in Canada all over social media. [b]Super C:[/b] I now wish I hadn't brought this up. [b]Dark Wolf:[/b] No worries, boss. You were just testing the maturity level of everyone in this room. Hopefully everybody passed. [b]Landon/R.R.:[/b] Our Prime Minister was just telling it like it is. *to Rainier* Just don't push your luck too far with anything. Worst case scenario, you or somebody blows it, and they end up doing clown stuff for us just as Levi did. [b]Goldduster:[/b] Now I did think that was a little bit excessive, but you were just following instructions, weren't you? [b]Levi:[/b] Yes. I think the most humiliating part was actually wearing the makeup, not so much getting pied in the face. However, you have to bear in mind that the original circus I was assigned to would have bore much worse results. I know you get angry when your own species goes rogue, but the ringmaster was a wolf. [b]Dark Wolf:[/b] I do anger easily when hearing stories like this. [b]Goldduster:[/b] I do, too, believe it or not. [b]Levi:[/b] His intentions were try to hurt me to the point of death with the act he set up. He had a younger brother, and that was the literal Drill Sergeant McNasty. That was his name. After he made me do all those humiliating punishments, he announced that he wanted to crucify me. Nobody does that anymore. Nobody ever should have done that. Yet that is how Jesus died, and we're not far from Easter Sunday, so I mention it here. I'm a believer, you understand. I think you know the story from there; I end up with Landon and his circus instead. Both those wolves are gone, of course. [b]Goldduster:[/b] I'm glad to hear that you're a believer. Some of the wrestlers in the human world actually became born-again Christians. I think Shawn Michaels is one of them, and he won the match that we know as the Montreal Screwjob. Thankfully, he and Bret Hart reconciled. [b]Super C:[/b] How did you react to that? [b]Goldduster:[/b] I was ticked off by it, but the only one I was really furious with was Vince McMahon. [b]Cripto:[/b] That's understandable; the whole thing was his fault in the first place. [b]Goldduster:[/b] I therefore tip my hat to the Dog of Doom for crusading for more legitimate, unscripted fights in the ring. --------------- --------------- --------------- [b]Goldduster:[/b] [i](narrating)[/i] There you have it; that's my induction in a nutshell. A large and sometimes very confusing nutshell. Soon we planned to have a special exhibition match, in which I'd go up against my mentor (Luchador Lion), just to see how I'd do against him. While I did have experience training with luchadores, I may be at a disadvantage because when you add it all up, I actually have the lowest amount of wins between me and all the other furry wrestlers. (That also goes back to me starting out as a heel, and my wrestling persona is in the middle of my "rehab" process, represented by our Commander hiring me to the G-52s.) Win or lose, though, the point of it was to give Canada a taste of what the U.S. got, when comparing the quicker and more agile and acrobatic style of wrestling lucha libre is, as opposed to how American wrestlers tend to be reliant more on strength and power. I tend to come closer to that second option even though I have the luchador mask. You won't want to miss that, will you? No? Then keep it here, okay? Thank you; good night, Canada. You too, world. Get a good night's sleep. You've earned it. ---------------- [color=silver][b]THE END[/b][/color]