[color=blue][b][u]The End of Invisible CNG 2.0[/u][/b][/color] ------------- Super C here; don't worry about anything, folks. Snare Soldier said nothing wrong, so I didn't charge him with anything. However, everything he has said is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Invisible CNG 2.0, or IC2 for short, the successor to CNG, has acknowledged that its days are numbered, and compared to how long CNG had tortured the earth, this was mercifully much shorter. Thank goodness. I promise you I'm doing nothing wrong here either, but I can't really give some details about this without mentioning the bits I don't want my recruits to mention otherwise if it is not absolutely necessary. As you know by now, the C.I.D.F. are declaring that this is the end of IC2 as we know it, because it suddenly stopped torturing the humans, and decided it would put all its time and energy into mentally and physically torturing Levi the Mountee Lion, as an everlasting punishment for his snap decision controversy; this was when he learned how the Canadian women's soccer team's decision to use a drone to spy on New Zealand got them in trouble, and they decided to bring them to him just to see how he would react. Levi, however, treated this on the same level as the Russian and Chinese doping scandals, and felt that ceding Machias Seal Island to the U.S. for the next six years wasn't good enough. As a result, the Olympic agreement has been canceled, because the U.S. now are the permanent sole owners of the island. The United Nations have finalized this decision, and the International Courts of Justice over in the Netherlands also approved it. Since then, Levi has become the most ridiculed individual in history as far as social media is concerned, as well as the most satirized individual in terms of comedy. "If the sketch comedy troupe known as the Royal Canadian Air Farce was still performing," he wrote in this journal, "then I would have just given them four to five seasons' worth of material. However, they have completed their final flights." When I called him to ask him how he was feeling just this morning, since he voluntarily locked himself up in the Greenlandic White House of Shame, he said, "It's very clear that I am losing the battle against myself and my demons, because this IC2 stuff decided it would put all its time and energy into torturing me and me alone, instead of the humans. This isn't legitimate logic, is it?" "No, it isn't," I said. "I can't wrap my head around the truth that if you hadn't made that blunder, IC2 would still be torturing the humans, but it is the truth. I'm not making any changes to your 90-day probation, however, but you don't have to be in the house all 90 days. Rainier Belrose is now your deputy prime minister, and he made his own declaration that you're not invited to the Olympic post-game celebrations depending on what nation wins the most gold medals, which at this moment is China, but I sent him a message to let him know about the D-19's decision to make you a circus clown for two weeks. And personally, I think clowns are creepy." "I do, too," Levi replied, "but I don't think IC2 has anything to do with the circus clown stint. If anything good comes out of this, I can win the world's respect back once I learn how to juggle, ride a unicycle, and then simultaneously do both. The purpose of the circus acts I'll be doing isn't just to humiliate me with pies in the face and getting doused with water, although that's a big part of it." "I don't see what's so funny about that. It's a waste." "It is. This circus, however, will basically have me doing everything; some nights, they'll force me to do a high dive into even more pie filling, slime, or whatever they are using, which is similar to what the cruel ringmaster did to Dumbo when he made him a clown." (Levi was referring to the original 1940s Disney movie, not the 2019 Tim Burton remake.) "At other times, I'll be shot out of a cannon, and the landing target will be that same stuff. The circus hopes that it will have everybody laughing so hard." "Well, just remember, you brought this on yourself." "I did." "Having said that, I am not happy about IC2 torturing you. Do you know how it is doing that?" "Every night, I have the same nightmare. It begins with you excommunicating me for my behaviours, fine and all. $250,000 in your nation equals $345,762.50 in mine right now. This is why I ask you this question: where does the money go from there?" "All fines you pay is then given to charity, and I always choose a charity called Project Fit America. However, I give everybody the option to donate to charity themselves, so if you have one that could use the money from the $5,000 fine I issued you for the double whammy you committed, you can send it directly to them." "I'm glad to hear that. I regularly donate to Food Banks Canada, which seeks to combat hunger in our country. Almost 2 million people visited food banks in just one month. And that's despite Cripto's generosity. "I'm glad to hear that; the U.S., also despite Cripto bailing us out, also have food bank numbers like that. Anyway, your bad dream was me giving you the boot, you said?" "Yes, but that was just step one. Step two is Cripto telling me that I am the weakest link, just like on that game show. Step three is the Drumbums playing the 'Rogue's March' as I publicly exit the scene, and thousands of people are lined up on either side to either boo me, laugh at me, or throw things at me. People's little kids chant, 'LOSER! LOSER! LOSER!', just as they would when they bully others." Levi then paused to clear his throat. "Sorry. Allergies. Step four is me getting bankrupted; all my property and money has been seized by the government. Step five is the government renouncing my citizenship, step six is them buying an uncharted desert island, and step seven is dumping me there for the rest of my life until the day I die, when the world throws the biggest fiesta ever, celebrating my death. Even the parallels were celebrating." "Harsh. Well, let me rest assure you in real life that nobody is going to celebrate anybody's death, because that's also a strike on their record." "Do you leave the strikes forever or reset them after so long? I know I have two on mine." "I let them reset after so long, but for you and your parallels, it cannot get reinstated. Lennart, for example, has one strike on his record, and that was his act of destroying AIRAF HQ all by himself. However, he even said he can learn from his mistakes. Why not you?" "Right. I plan to send an official apology to Rainier and the others afterwards." "Please do. You may have to do it in person; they'll be there to watch you do the clown stuff in person." "Duly noted." "In the meantime, Leo has asked the world to pray for you and your health, and so we will, too." "Thanks, Chief. Thank you for not abandoning me." "No problem; you're a valuable asset to this world." -------- I forwarded this conversation to the rest of the Canadian G-52s, UN1024s, and other allies, and they confirmed they'd watch Levi as a circus clown in person. ------- This is the beginning of the end of IC2. We'll keep you posted with any more information we find. Thanks. ------- [b][color=#F07B07]THE END[/color][/b]