[color=gold][b][u]G-52 F.A.Q.: The C.I.D.F., Session #4[/u][/b][/color] [color=black][b][u]CNG vs. IC2[/u][/b][/color] -------------- [i]All questions answered by Commander Thierry J. Anderson, Chief Director of Music for the C.I.D.F.[/i] -------------------- Q: What does IC2 stand for? A: “Invisible CNG 2.0.” A Scottish recruit for the C.I.D.F. came up with the name. Q: How does IC2 compare to CNG? A: IC2 is a lot weaker than CNG. It doesn’t have the power to transformer humans into animals in the way CNG did so. It just kills humans off, and it won’t even bother with the animal kingdom. Q: Does IC2 want to eliminate humanity the way CNG did? A: As far as we can tell, no. IC2 is only punishing the humans with the death penalty, even if what they did is not worthy of the death penalty. Q: What is humanity doing that motivates IC2 to kill him? A: There are a variety of reasons, but the most common are as follows: ------------ [color=white][i]1. The human has a criminal record. 2. The human is plotting to do something rash such as murdering somebody, robbing somebody, or other forms of terrorism or crime. (It kills them the very day they begin plotting to do these things.) 3. The human fits the “Karen” meme, with the male equivalents we have heard used for such men being “Ken” or “Kevin.” 4. The human is a parent that has unrealistic expectations for his or her offspring.[/i][/color] ---------- Q: What kind of unrealistic expectations? A: The most common is the parent who assumes that what they do for a living determines what their child does for a living. If the dad is a dentist, for example, he will want his son to be a dentist, even if the son realistically has no interest being a dentist. Alternatively, IC2 kills a certain amount of parents who expect their offspring to go professional in sports (although this never includes professional wrestling because that’s sports entertainment). Q: We now know that CNG came in clumps that looked like gold nuggets you might have dug for if you were a forty-niner in 1849. Do you know what IC2 looks like? A: No; we don’t. The “I” stands for “invisible” for a reason. If ever we did find out, it would be treated as forbidden knowledge, and any forbidden knowledge that is leaked could mean severe consequences for the entire world. Q: Is IC2 continuing to get the humans to act as if they are inferior to the animal kingdom? A: Yes. Just as CNG did, IC2 bases all its actions on genuine human thought, and the humans genuinely thought their own kind was unfit to rule the world. This is not fair to us members of the animal kingdom (remember, I am a white lion), because it unfairly forces us to sacrifice our true destinies (or at least what we thought were our true destinies as God intended), and instead, be the ones that run the world. Q: Is the United States still the nation with the largest amount of deaths related to IC2? A: Sadly, yes. However, the good news is that it is dropping. Q: What other nations are suffering? A: The top five nations in total are as follows, and these are the reasons IC2 has given for doing this, even if they are not legitimate reasons: ------------ [color=snow][i]1. United States (because its people take everything for granted and have become so ungrateful, selfish, and spoiled; I’ll let you be the judge of if that is true or not) 2. China (because its government massacred so many people in 1989 at Tiananmen Square, massacred so many Uyghur people, and lied to the world about COVID-19) 3. Pakistan (because of their hatred of India) 4. Palestine (because of their hatred of Israel) 5. Russia (because of their doping scandals, and how they cheated to win gold in basketball at the 1972 Olympic Games; the U.S. still will not accept those medals)[/i][/color] ------------- Q: Are there any nations with no IC2-related deaths? A: We haven’t figured out the reason why, but the one and only nation with no IC2-related deaths whatsoever is Canada. However, IC2 is conditioning those people into believing the one and only individual ever worthy of being Prime Minister was Levi the Mountee Lion, even though he blew it by blowing up at Parliament and suspending it when its people weren’t doing their jobs properly, but instead focusing on unacceptable photos of Justin Trudeau. (You know the story; I’m not repeating it!) ---------------- ----------------- [color=lime][b]NOTE:[/b] At the time Commander Anderson said this, this was true. However, it was later discovered that the nations of Sweden and Iceland also never had any IC2-related deaths. Other nations that can claim this distinction include Lithuania, Latvia, Sweden, and Poland. This is accurate as of July 21, 2024. There may be more nations with this distinction that have yet to be discovered.[/color] ---------- ----------- Q: Was there ever a nation that never had a CNG-related death? A: There are six nations that can claim this distinction: Canada, Iceland, Sweden, Norway, Greenland, and Latvia. Q: Does IC2 determine what someone does for a living? A: No; it doesn’t have that ability. Only CNG did that. Q: The G-52s recently hired an Australian professional wrestler to be a G-52: the Beatdown Bobcat (alternatively known as Captain Beatdown). Why did it want him to be a wrestler? We thought it hated wrestling. A: One excuse CNG used to kill the human race in its never-ending series of unacceptable double standards is its attempts to get people in trouble; it did this by making it seem as if the human in question disobeyed their parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle, or whichever member of the previous generation, and thus, dishonored the family. This sort of goes along with the parents I mentioned that dictated what they did for a living determined what their offspring did for a living. Thus, Bobby’s parents would have made the assumption that he deliberately disobeyed them, and would lose their tempers to the point of no return, but amazingly, they didn’t snap. I spoke to the bobcat recently, and he said that if he had done what his dad did, he would have been a groundskeeper for a football stadium; mind you this is Australian rules football we are talking about here. (And believe me, not just anybody can play that game!) However, his parents did not dictate what he did for a living. They did, however, have a long list of things they did not want him doing, although it was because they were wanting to protect him and wanted him to put safety first. One such job was “professional wrestler.” The family had attended a WWE show in Australia because the dad’s job awarded him tickets to that match. As fate would have it, there were CNG smugglers present, and according to Bobby, it made him a bobcat, and made him bear a resemblance to the original wrestler also known as Captain Beatdown. The original wrestler was recovering from a back injury, and was planning to retire. The original storyline, as a result, was to have a mysterious new challenger go up against the heel wrestler, the Dog of Doom (a bloodhound). Instead, because Bobby looked exactly like the original hero wrestler, the WWE thought it was the original wrestler and virtually bullied him into going into the ring. The parents didn’t realize it until it was too late. If everything had gone according to CNG’s plans, the parents would have disowned Bobby and written him out of the wills, provided he did not defeat the Dog of Doom. Bobby ended up improvising just to save his life, and ended up winning the match. “I have to admit,” the bloodhound said to him later on, “that even I thought you were the real thing.” Eventually his parents came to peace with their son continuing to wrestler as a hero. The original wrestler made one last appearance in order to pass the torch, and even the Dog of Doom was applauding him. Q: What was his original ambition? A: He wanted to be a Formula 1 driver. Not just anybody does that either. Q: Will IC2 ever go away? A: Only if humanity gets its act together and gets itself to understand that God wanted man to have dominion over the earth, not the animal kingdom. Otherwise, it will continue leading everybody to assume that “humans are out; furries are in, because the humans just don’t get it.” Q: Does IC2 spare Christians and Jews in the same way CNG did? A: Yes, it does. Q: Does IC2 kill off those who practice other religions? A: Strangely enough, it doesn’t kill them all off. All the humans it kills are humans who do not follow any religion whatsoever. This includes both atheists and agnostics. A notable exception to this rule, however, is if the person in question practices witchcraft, or uses a crystal ball or Ouija board for fortune telling. Those people are killed off. Q: How does IC2 kill people? A: The person goes to sleep at night and never wakes up again. The most common causes it chooses are heart attack, stroke, and brain aneurysm. Q: What made IC2 decide to back off from killing the humans? A: It began dropping the overall numbers when the Magical Drummer and his cousin, Reginald the Rat, led a fife and drum parade intended to preach to the humans that they had no business giving up their Constitutional rights and freedoms just to make Leo the Patriotic Lion happy. It also shows that while CNG gave the exact same batch of superpowers to all musicians and vocalists, some of them are more powerful than others. In fact, the only one in this category that outranks the Magical Drummer is—you guessed it—Cripto. Q: Can IC2 alter one’s body chemistry? A: Yes, it can. It took away Leo the Patriotic Lion’s ability, for example to bellow at full volume (which he called a “power yell”). Now he can’t do any damage if he were to lose his temper over something (though he would still be impeached and removed from office because everybody is holding him and his parallels to a higher standard than the rest of the world put together). IC2 also took away Grease’s abilities to spew oil all over the place and/or start a grease fire (which he never did). The fact he had the ability to start a grease fire is an example of how CNG was attempting to set up the world so that it was the new Kriegland, making superheroes lawbreakers. Although Grease had this power, doing such a thing would result in arson, and arson is a crime that Super C declared would lead to excommunication, with the Drumbums rubbing it in by playing the dreaded fife and drum tune known as the “Rogue’s March.” (Grease would also pay Super C $250,000 as a fine.) The second half of this double standard is that CNG would have helped give the humans what they wanted, and it would then kill them off because they wanted this to happen. (There were professional rabble-rousers using social media to influence the public into wanting to see Super C excommunicate a G-52 at least once. Yet no G-52 has ever done anything rash enough to be excommunicated; Captain Cosmo’s constant whining only got him temporary probation and a $3,000 fine.) IC2 will not set up the G-52s for their doom; nor will it increase humanity’s desires to see that happen. Q: Does IC2 have its own ideas? A: No. It follows CNG’s example of only acting based on genuine human interests, and humanity genuinely wanted to see the G-52s fall apart thanks to those rabble-rousers. ([b]Spoiler alert:[/b] all those rabble-rousers died anyway because a tornado destroyed their neighborhood and killed them; IC2 had nothing to do with that storm. That’s just the way it worked out. Is that karma or is that karma?) Q: Does IC2 ever do good things for people? A: Depends on the person, but it has. For example, there was a group of people that were struggling to pay the bills. IC2 saw that they were genuinely kind people for what they were worth, and were devout followers of Jesus Christ. The money it pulled out of thin air was enough to put them back in the black and then some, but the people thought it was Cripto bailing them out. (To this day, they have no idea it was IC2.) CNG would never have done such a thing. Q: Will the affected animals you documented ever become human again? A: Sadly, no. CNG was powerful enough to turn the animals back into humans, but it didn’t want to do that. It thought humanity was “too savage of a race.” (You be the judge of how savage it got.) Now that it no longer exists, a reversal is impossible. The animals are at peace with it, though. Q: Will IC2 affect the upcoming Olympic Games? A: No. It will only kill off or otherwise punish humans who do not behave, or believe in unacceptable propaganda. Q: What kind of propaganda? A: When Spain won UEFA Euro 2024, for example, among those witnessing the win for Spain were Francoists, people that wanted to reinstate and push the beliefs of the infamous dictator, Francisco Franco. They were preaching that Spain rightfully owned Gibraltar, not the UK, and that if Spain won the game, it meant that Lionus the Chivalric Lion (as UK Prime Minister) had to give control back to Spain. At least 20 of them died from IC2 as a result, because the AIRAF and F5 Terror Force used their ideas as motivation to attack the island. Thankfully, the G-52s and C.I.D.F. were there to thwart their plans, and we didn’t even need the presence of Lennart the Viking Lion to do it. (He was in Spain, however, destroying AIRAF drones and other objects. It subsequently traumatized the AIRAF soldier in charge of the operation.) Q: Does IC2 modify the behavior of the humans who do or say something stupid? A: It can, but only if it decides not to kill them. Because of the innuendos and profanities that accidentally result from it, I can only say the first names of the athletes in question for this example: Steeve (a French basketball player) and Faraj (a French rugby player). The US has immature people making innuendos out of Steeve’s name, while the UK has immature people making innuendos and jokes out of Faraj’s last name. IC2 has killed at least 50 people in both nations as a result (total of 100), in the hopes there are no tourists from either nation attending these sports in person. (The IOC is also working on this because of their policy that says you are stuck attending the events they tell you to attend.) Q: Does it stress you to deal with IC2? A: It does, but I am not going to stop doing my job or fighting the good fight. As I said, IC2 is reinventing itself as we speak, but it cannot reverse any damage it has already done. All we ask is that humanity behaves itself, and that you, the press, will only report the truth as it happens with no bias, regardless of what it does to one’s public image. Will you do that? If not, you’re probably going to end up down at the job center.