[color=red][b][u]Football Drumming in Washington[/u][/b][/color] ---------- Leo the Patriotic Lion here again; I want to thank everybody, and I do mean everybody, for making this year one of our best ever successes with the fact we call September "Music Involvement Month," where we do the heaviest amount of campaigning for getting more people to get musically involved. If you can't play any instrument, no problem. You can sing! Indeed, many were singing for multiple reasons this month. Ultimately, the goal of ours is that by getting people musically involved, it will keep them off drugs and alcohol, and it will prevent any kids from pleading guilty to bullying because they won't be bullying. (This is why we earlier named Daren the Lion as not only the official D.A.R.E. mascot, but the D.A.R.E. drummer, and he does lots of drumming himself when marching or performing in a concert setting. When it comes to jazz music, however, he gives other drummers a chance, and he performs on tenor saxophone for the most part. But he plays the drums more than the saxophone.) So as not to let the title confuse you, it was Corps Coon who popularized the nickname "football drums" for the modern battery percussion instruments I speak about here, whereas he liked calling the military field drums "soldier's drums." The football drums were rising in popularity thanks to the recent recruitment of the real-life versions of the following NCAA mascots: -------- [b]Drum Major:[/b] Bully the Bulldog (Mississippi State) [b]Snare drums:[/b] Rufus the Bobcat (Ohio), Aubie (Auburn), Truman the Tiger (Missouri), Mike the Tiger (LSU), Willie the Wildcat (Northwestern), Joe Bruin (UCLA), Champ the Bobcat (Montana State University) [b]Tenor drums:[/b] Shasta the Cougar (Houston), Scratch the Wildcat (Kentucky), Smokey (Tennessee), Ramses (North Carolina), Big Red (Arkansas), True Grit (University of Maryland, Baltimore County) [b]Bass drums:[/b] Willie the Wildcat (K-State), Bruiser (Baylor), Benny Beaver (Orgeon State), Marco the Bison (Marshall), Griff the Bulldog (Drake), Big Al (Alabama), Hink the Bulldog [b]Cymbals:[/b] Mario the Magnificent (Drexel), Boomer and Sooner (Oklahoma), Bevo (Texas), Hairy Dawg (Georgia), Jonathan the Husky (Connecticut) [b]Auxiliary percussion (when needed):[/b] Jack the Bulldog (Georgetown), Timeout (Fresno State), Spike the Bulldog (Gonzaga), Cosmo the Cougar (Brigham Young) ---------- The auxiliary percussionists would also perform as rifle marchers, banner holders, or flag dwellers when necessary, or fill in for Bully when his health didn't allow him to be 100%. It's also important to remember that all of these animals have also learned to play the drums in a drum set, and the orchestral drums and percussion. These are just the drums they play when they march, though they learned how to play all the marching drums. The auxiliary percussionists also learned all the marching drums and cymbals just in case, so today, we had Jack beating a snare drum, Timeout on the tenor drums, Spike on one of the bass drums, and Cosmo playing cymbals. [b]NOTES:[/b] Mario is a dragon. The real Mario is also a dragon, but with magical wizard-type powers. Because his name is Mario, it isn't uncommon for folks to jokingly ask him, "Where's Luigi?" (Mario himself has added to the jokes by occasionally cosplaying as the Nintendo character of the same name.) Also, if any of these mascots had any female counterparts (i.e. Houston has Sasha the Cougar to accompany Shasta), the females acted as extra drum majorettes when needed. When the situation called for Bully to play the drums himself, he also played a snare drum. ------------- Also to be noted is that when the child who made the wish for real-life versions of these animal mascots made the wish, he was only thinking of the big Division I school mascots (i.e. Aubie). But his wish was interpreted by the supernatural that made it come true as all mascots from all college levels, so we are also seeing Division II schools and lower or independent schools. For example, Joplin, MO has a Division II school, Missouri Southern State University, whose mascot is the lion. The real-life mascots in that case were Roary the Lion (current mascot) and his predecessor, Larry the Lion. (The costumed character Roary still performs, however.) Some private universities were experiencing this as well; in the town of Watertown, Wisconsin, there is a private university called Maranatha Baptist University, and their mascot is the sabercat. B. Snarly was the name chosen for the mascot (don't ask because I don't know the reason why), but now, there is a real-life B. Snarly. All three aforementioned mascots in the above paragraph became allies to the G-52s. However, they weren't involved in this story we're telling you. It was all about the D-I mascots. Also, for the record, WU (Wildcat University, in Wildcat City), used to be private. Now it is a public research institution (as being a private one was proving impractical, but the CNG crisis was to blame for that), but it has yet to be assigned to any of the conferences with the NCAA. It has, however, had its football and basketball teams play exhibition games against the D-I school such as Arkansas or Houston. In most cases, they lost, but it was always a loss by just one to three points, so it was a satisfying sort of loss (unless you were somebody who was always angry at the referees, but in these games, the refs did not make a mistake). For the record, its mascot, The Cat, also became a real animal. ------------ The purpose of this drumline was not only to boost school spirit, but the spirit of America's morale overall. "Drums are powerful motivators," I once said. "It doesn't matter if you're playing these football drums, a military field drum like mine, concert percussion, or even a drum set. Drums beat the rhythms of life itself, and to march to the drummer's beat should be seen as nothing less than a divine privilege." (It sounds like a flawed philosophy, but the deeper we went into my first term as President of the United States, the more it seemed to be true. Why? The magic of the music was making the whole country much more jolly and upbeat, and consequently, so much nicer. Don't get me wrong; we all still have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but we no longer have CNG killing everybody in its ambitious hopes of wanting to erase humanity as a whole. It was therefore guilty of the unforgivable sin.) ------------ Anyway, we invited these mascots to the White House as a thank-you to them for helping us make this year's Music Involvement Month a smashing success, as indicated by the results of the fundraising for MAD (March Against Drugs), a campaign co-created by my best friend and current serving Vice-President, Tom the Patriotic Tiger, as well as John the Tiger (who serves on the G-52s as the Cat of Chaos, although he doesn't have superpowers apart from what all musicians can do). I won't say the totals for safety precautions, but it was our best year ever. Our original intention was to have them play outside on the White House Lawn, but the rainfall we were experiencing was preventing that, because even when we had T2's protective dome up, the domes were still bringing rain (because there are built-in sprinklers that bring the correct amount of water to the grass, no more, no less), so we settled for just playing in the White House's music room, which was large enough to accomodate a full band or orchestra after the renovations to the White House were complete. The animals all wore blue and gold custom-made drum major uniforms with the NCAA logo on it, representing their roles as the all-star drumline of the organization. Some were padding (going barefoot), while the others wore shoes. All the animals playing a snare drum were all barefoot. "Shame we couldn't do this outdoors," I said to the animals, "but I do thank you all for coming. This year's 'Music Involvement Month' was a smashing success, and I think you guys were a big part of it." "We're glad to hear that," Bully smiled. "Tell us; how did it start?" "It was actually Tom's idea," I said. "It's true," said Tom, "but I had some help from another great tiger." John then entered the room in his black and silver drum major uniform (although still padding, meaning he was barefoot, and many of the animals in the drumline were also padding), and introduced himself. He then told his story about his life as a military drum major on Kriegland. "So I doubt we ever would have had these kinds of drums we like to call 'football drums,'" he concluded, "but let's be honest. These drums filled a void in our lives we didn't know was even there. Are these your primary source of drumming?" "They are," said Aubie, "but if you command us to beat a military field drum, we can do so. We're trained on all the instruments. Well, all the percussion ones that worked for us, anyway." Since the animals had their football drums on them, Aubie played a drum roll on his snare drum as a way of confirming the truth. (The habits stemming from some of those weird Gurdethan rituals was rubbing off on everybody.) Upon its conclusion, John exchanged salutes with him. Then he asked, "So what is this I hear about a drummer using a rubber chicken? You don't play drums with a chicken." "We don't understand it ourselves," Shasta spoke up, "but there's a guy on YouTube who was once a drummer for the U.S. Marine Corps, until he was discharged and a bunch of his content was taken down because 'the man' didn't approve of it, whoever that is. I don't understand why he has a rubber chicken, or why there are screaming kids in the background during that tenor drum solo, but we will play the cadence for you, 'Jig 2.' I warm up with it every day." "You do?" "Yes, sir. I like tenor drums because they're almost like playing a drum set, but you march." (Shasta was already a celebrated drummer on drum set when he came to the real world, and he carried that legacy on into the tenor drums.) "Do that, then." "Just don't scream," Leo added. "That would be weird." "It would. However, the video went viral because of those elements." Bully then commanded the animals to begin drumming by clicking sticks, although he wasn't drumming. He just couldn't blow his whistle because we were indoors. We then listened to the animals play the cadence, and when it got to the solo Shasta was referencing, we got a better glimpse of why that solo went viral. Even more interesting was the fact that the bass drums played a similar sounding solo towards the end. ([b]NOTE:[/b] The first time it got to the solo, Shasta did it by himself; the second time, it became a soli, meaning the whole group was playing it.) Obviously, nobody screamed; everybody was playing with the discipline of soldiers at attention on a parade ground. This was also indicated by the fact we exchanged salutes at the end. When the others could speak again, Rufus the Bobcat asked me, "Do the lions in that U.S. Lion Corps Band play these drums?" "They didn't at first," I said, "but they do now. In my original heyday as the primary drum major, this never would have happened. It was all military drums, because I was trying to purify the nation from the evils I thought were plaguing it, only to discover years later that it was CNG controlling me like a puppet. How embarrassing." (While I made a promise to our Commander, Super C, that I would not dwell on the past, he did not have a problem with me mentioning here because I was honestly answering the question Rufus had asked me.) "It's worse than that story of you tackling Brutus Buckeye, and your school getting their butts kicked by a large number of points as a result." ([b]NOTE:[/b] This was referencing an incident with just the costumed characters, but the real mascots sometimes talk about as if they really did it. The real Rufus, as a result, participated in a comedy act where the Forsythians made him do that infamous marching punishment of theirs involving a huge bass drum, and he struggled to carry it out, but he did finish the whole hike. He then delivered an official apology monologue to Brutus, and the costumed character made an appearance to say, "You're forgiven." This was also because there were a ton of Forsythians and/or descendants of the Forsythians attending both Ohio and Ohio State.) "I don't know what I was thinking," Rufus replied, "but I swore on oath to your boss I wouldn't do that again." "Good." "What do you want us to play next?" "May I hear something from you? By that, I mean, Ohio." "We can do that. As another part of that punishment, I had to wear Ohio State's uniform and play their drum cadences for a month. That was the end of the act, though." Rufus played a few beats on his snare drum, leading to the cadence he had in mind. Since the animals knew these cadences from memory, they knew which one he was playing from the intro. The rest of them joined in afterwards (although not speaking any spoken parts; they were just drumming), and at the end, we saluted them again. Rufus then completed the routine with just him playing a snare drum solo entitled "Three Camps." He and I saluted one another afterwards. The next cadence was one that Bully wrote himself, and so we added another snare drum to the room so he could play it. Tom, John, and I sight-read the sheet music as the animals played the cadence. For this one, the animals went ahead and spoke, because Bully included a militaristic portion where the drummers repeatedly would chant in a drill sergeant's voice, "Left! Left! Left, right, left!" It was quite the spectacle, actually; I tip my hat to the bulldog for his talents. Naturally, we saluted again at the end. We then did a few call-and-response solos to compare and contrast the sounds of the football drums from the military drums; I had my field drum on me (which is a rope-tensioned snare drum), while John played a bass drum. Tom joined in with his fife when we did a few fife-and-drum tunes for the mascots, who improvised on their football drums. Other routines included a detailed explanation on why Gurdetha's rituals were rubbish, but also why CNG killed animals that didn't do them (although it eventually stopped and started concentrating on the humans; this was a spell of the bear himself he had unconsciously cast that wore off exactly 100 years later). ------------ The day went on with more music, and we answered any more questions the mascots had about the twisted bear that was William Gurdetha, and how it had affected all of us in the end. This is why many of us were still doing some of the rituals even after the spell wore off. This includes the infamous routine of looking at a drummer's bare feet as he beats the drum roll, and then suddenly looking up and saluting him, as well as his way of getting one's steps in (if you count your steps) by constantly marching to a simple drum beat. Rufus volunteered to do these things (supposedly of adding to his guilt and remorse he had felt from tackling Brutus as a prank, which has since become the stuff of undisputed legend to both schools, but that's not a good thing), and after a few minutes of steady simple beats, we concluded with a playing of the snare drum solo "Drum Corps on Parade" (a favorite of the Magical Drummer), and to make the sound unique, we had the football snares playing alongside my field drum. Rufus just marched, however, and on the last beat, he did halt in perfect time. Then he looked at my bare feet again, and I beat another drum roll; he saluted me upon its end, and I saluted back. (To do the ritual properly, there are no cymbals. Only the beating of a drum will do.) It became evident that we had accidentally created a theme for this event: Rufus's redemption story by the art of drumming. (This echoed many stories of other animals, some of which were the canon characters of "Cripto's army," who were animal villains or otherwise ones with serious problems, all of whom redeemed themselves by learning to play the drums; this way, they still have something to beat on, not someone.) After Rufus returned to the snare drum he was playing, the whole drumline played "Drum Corps on Parade." Although it was originally a snare drum solo, some of the animals had experimented with adding tenor drum parts, bass drum parts, and cymbal parts. It wasn't quite the result we wanted, but it was worthy of a try, and it is good to experiment with music even if it doesn't work out like you want it to in the end. ----------- To add to the variety, we allowed Truman the Tiger to play a different drum solo, "Downfall of Paris," on a concert snare drum. What didn't change was him standing like a soldier at attention while drumming, and exchanging salutes with him at the end. Rufus marched his paws to the beat, since marching was getting to be a habit. But for him, it was a good habit, because it showed he had learned from his mistakes. Another selection had Shasta playing a drum set, while the others accompanied him with their football drums; this bore similarity to one routine I've seen Rumble the Bison, the mascot for the NBA's Oklahoma City Thunder, do; as he plays his drum set, the other performers who make up the OKC Thunder Drummers accompany him with the battery percussion (which is the football drums; sometimes you see them at basketball games, too). --------- We concluded our session by drumming along to recordings of various music, with me conducting, although I did forget to point out we actually began the day with the national anthem in the same manner; sorry about that. It wouldn't work if we didn't play our national anthem. ---------- Though not all these things were filmed, some were, since they were actually musical payroll assignments for the mascots. (One assignment was Truman playing "Downfall of Paris.") In the end, while it was a long day, it was worth it, and it helped further prove (if proof was needed) that my philosophy held true: if you have time to lead a country, you have time for music. -------- The next morning, it was bright and sunny (as well as dry), and so the mascots in their drumline were able to perform for the public after all. ---------- [color=blue][b]THE END[/b][/color]